# Good night, Auto. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely fire you in the morning **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 25, 2007, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594 "2007-02-25T08:40:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/41 "2007-02-26T23:14:30Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Every fucking day. And every day, I would ask her how make number round. Does 1.4 plus 1.4 equal 2? Or 3? “That good question, monkey boy. I find out. Get back to you.” [/QUOTE] My math is for shit, but I recall that if it’s below .4, you round it **down**. .5 or above, round it up. So 1.4 would be 1. But I know less about math than Britney Spears knows about child care, so I could be Monkey Girl. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/42 "2007-02-26T23:25:13Z")
[QUOTE=Rilchiam] My math is for shit, but I recall that if it’s below .4, you round it **down**. .5 or above, round it up. So 1.4 would be 1. But I know less about math than Britney Spears knows about child care, so I could be Monkey Girl. [/QUOTE] Depends on what the data’s being used for. That’s the standard way to round, but depending on the information needed, sometimes rounding is always down even if it’s X.9, and sometimes it’s always up even if it’s X.1. So even if **tdn** is jerking his boss’s chain, it’s a valid question. I also want to throw in another vote of appreciation for the OP. Damn fine posts. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/43 "2007-02-26T23:28:01Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > > [@tdn](#): > > > > Every fucking day. And every day, I would ask her how make number round. Does 1.4 plus 1.4 equal 2? Or 3? “That good question, monkey boy. I find out. Get back to you.” > > My math is for shit, but I recall that if it’s below .4, you round it **down**. .5 or above, round it up. So 1.4 would be 1. But I know less about math than Britney Spears knows about child care, so I could be Monkey Girl. Yeah, I think that’s the concept, but **tdn** wrote 1.4 **plus** 1.4, which would be 2.8, rounded to 3. Or as you noted, 1.4 rounded to 1 twice which would be 2. And hence the comment. I’m no math genius either so I’ll wait for **tdn** , but I think that’s right. On preview: I haven’t seen **BayleDomon** ’s convention before but I’ll take his word for it. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/44 "2007-02-27T00:25:30Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > When I heard that phrase, you could not see it, but the gates of Hell opened and Satan waved his dick around in my face. That, my friend, is sheer beautifulness. I haven’t seen a statement like that in a Pit rant for _years_. Seems like it’s all about goat-felching these days, and Satan’s genitalia isn’t mentioned nearly enough. Well done, sir! ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/45 "2007-02-27T01:10:03Z")
[QUOTE=IGJoe] Actually, I suspect whale shit is quite large. What do I know though? I’m no marine biologist. [/QUOTE] Whaleshit, having a very high specific gravity, is also very, very low. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/46 "2007-02-27T04:17:28Z")
A word of advice to anybody considering a career in the restaurant business (and probably a number of other types of businesses): Even if you’re not actually looking for work, take time to peruse the “help wanted” section of your local newspaper on a regular basis. You will soon notice that there are a few restaurants that are almost constantly advertising that they are hiring. And I can guarantee you that there is probably a very good reason _why_ they’re always looking for help. A secret: it’s not because they “just can’t find good help”. These are usually locally-owned restaurants, and the owners tend to fall into three categories: 1. Immigrants who may be experts at what they do but who cannot give clear instructions in English, and who consistently blame mistakes on “stupid, lazy, American workers” 2. People who have taken over the management of the restaurant that their now-retired parents built into a popular, thriving business, and who are now in the process of running it into the ground because they know fuck-all about the restaurant business 3. Women who have decided to mortgage the house they got in the divorce settlement in order to “realize their dream of owning their own business”, who have not yet figured out that “employer” and “mommy” are not synonyms and therefore tend to treat their employees like children ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/47 "2007-02-27T04:41:08Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] Whaleshit, having a very high specific gravity, is also very, very low. [/QUOTE] OK, I’ll bite (but not chew). What does this mean? Whaleshit is low? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/48 "2007-02-27T04:56:15Z")
**And now for something completely different** I wrote a song today at work because I was bored. Hope you like it. Well, it’s my words but not my melody. In any case, I think you will recognize it. Oompa Loopa, doopity doo, I am making sushi for you Oompa Loompa doopity dee I can even make it for three What do you get with raw fish and rice? Maybe some wasabi if you ask very nice Chopped into pieces of six ten or eight You’d be wise not to meet the same fate Oompa, Loompa, doopity Dot As for this song, you can like it or not Oompa Loompa doopity Dinished I’m pleased to announce your sushi is finished! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/49 "2007-02-27T05:06:20Z")
This post is a thing of beauty. I’ve not laughed so hard at a thread since Whammo’s [Funniest Things Said During Lovemaking/Intimate Moments](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb...ead.php?t=24960) And an Asian anecdote… A rather large woman and an acquaintance of mine was dining at a Chinese buffet when the owner/manager came to her table and said, “You too fat. You eat too much. You go now.” She was mortified but it gave me fodder for years of harping in a bad Asian accent, “You too faaaat. You go now!” hahahahaha ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/50 "2007-02-27T05:11:16Z")
[QUOTE=Heffalump and Roo] OK, I’ll bite (but not chew). What does this mean? Whaleshit is low? 😕 [/QUOTE] It heavy. It sink. Go to bottom of ocean, ZOOM. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/51 "2007-02-27T08:01:35Z")
I can’t get past the Thai Sushi idea… I’m going to open a restaraunt myself. We’ll serve falafel with marinara and meatballs. And hot dog enchiladas. Sczechuan borscht. Haggis omelettes. Curried Vegemite… ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/52 "2007-02-27T10:53:40Z")
[QUOTE=Ruby] And an Asian anecdote… A rather large woman and an acquaintance of mine was dining at a Chinese buffet when the owner/manager came to her table and said, “You too fat. You eat too much. You go now.” [/QUOTE] You too prejudiced. You get sued. Your ass mine. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/53 "2007-02-27T13:10:02Z")
[And The Master speaks on whale shit](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_003c.html) ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/54 "2007-02-27T15:26:40Z")
[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy] It heavy. It sink. Go to bottom of ocean, ZOOM. [/QUOTE] It not slow! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/55 "2007-02-27T19:50:46Z")
[QUOTE=if6was9] I can’t get past the Thai Sushi idea… I’m going to open a restaraunt myself. We’ll serve falafel with marinara and meatballs. And hot dog enchiladas. Sczechuan borscht. Haggis omelettes. Curried Vegemite… [/QUOTE] Actually, I was pleasantly intrigued until the last one. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/56 "2007-02-27T20:06:13Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > The pay is of course, whale-shit. [QUOTE=tomndebb] Whaleshit, having a very high specific gravity, is also very, very low. [/QUOTE] Ah, I see what you did here. You’re trying to explain how **Autolycus** could describe his pay as whale-shit. But with this new information, there may be another way to explain it: > [@ivylass](#): > > [And The Master speaks on whale shit](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_003c.html) > [@The Master](#): > > Whale excrement is largely liquid in consistency and thus, like Top 40 radio and other effluvia, has little substance and no depth. Perhaps **Autolycus** meant that his pay is very liquid as in liquid assets. Or perhaps he meant that there is little substance and no depth to his pay. And perhaps **tomndebb** meant that no depth meant very low. Perhaps. How’s that for deep? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/57 "2007-02-27T20:14:38Z")
[QUOTE=Heffalump and Roo] How’s that for deep? [/QUOTE] Man, that’s some heavy stuff, that is – that’s deeper’n whale shit! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2007, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/58 "2007-02-27T20:29:57Z")
Nobody read my song? Poopyfuck! Well, I’m off to work again. Stay tuned for further (mis)adventures! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/59 "2007-02-28T01:34:59Z")
Oh no, we read your song - it was a very good song. You should make up more songs like it and post them. ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2007, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594/60 "2007-02-28T02:22:58Z")
[QUOTE=if6was9] I can’t get past the Thai Sushi idea… I’m going to open a restaraunt myself. We’ll serve falafel with marinara and meatballs. And hot dog enchiladas. Sczechuan borscht. Haggis omelettes. Curried Vegemite… [/QUOTE] [hijack] Vegemite and avocado sammiches. _drool_ [/hijack] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-night-auto-good-work-sleep-well-ill-most-likely-fire-you-in-the-morning/393594.md?page=4)