# Good people of the Teeming Millions, let us declare war . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2000, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624 "2000-07-15T00:57:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Amulet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4491bb/32.png) [@Amulet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amulet)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/21 "2000-07-17T00:44:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by carnivorousplant \* > …who is Britney Spears? The AntiChrist. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/22 "2000-07-17T01:07:19Z")
I vote that Britty be sent to \*\*Monster{/b] Island–where the Japanese have penned up Godzilla. War Now! Unleash the SD Chemical Weapons Corps! Uncle Beer–go fart on her! Pleddison --take off those stinky, all synthetic/no leather sneakers of yours, & give Ms. Spears a good sniff! We’ll gas her out, men! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/23 "2000-07-17T02:05:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > War Now! > > Unleash the SD Chemical Weapons Corps! Uncle Beer–go fart on her! Pleddison --take off those stinky, all synthetic/no leather sneakers of yours, & give Ms. Spears a good sniff! We’ll gas her out, men! \*\* Good thinkin’ Bosda. I nominate you for Theater Commander. I’ll be too damn busy prosecuting the defendant in the courtroom. If you need help, lemme know. Order of Battle: Tripler - _Chief Prosecutor_ General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - _Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps_ ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/24 "2000-07-17T14:14:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dragwyr \* > \*\*I vote that we have General Norman Schwartzkoff head up the operation and start laying strategic plans for the systematic removal and/or control of the above stated parties. > > Also, shall I start a draft lottery? \*\* Dragwyr, ``` Given the targets, you'll have no shortage of volunteers... ``` ---
**Author:** ![Bucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Bucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bucky)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/25 "2000-07-17T15:02:27Z")
1. Add the “A Teens” to the list–they remade “Dancing Queen” (a song that IMHO didn’t need to be made once). 2. I personally volunteer to take control of the punishment for Lopez, Spears, Carey, and others of their ilk (provided that they are gagged to remove any danger of their singing). Such punishment will, of course, be BARE BOTTOM SPANKINGS for them all! Lord Buckminster ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/26 "2000-07-17T15:53:38Z")
Oh good, more volunteers . . . Current Order of Battle: Tripler - _Chief Prosecutor_ General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - _Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps_ Major Lurkernomore - _Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation_ Major Bucky - _Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander_ ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/27 "2000-07-17T15:57:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lissa \* > No food. I like the idea of Britney trying to club a rat over the head to keep from starving to death. I like the image of someone clubbing Britney over the head after mistaking her for a rat. I volunteer to outfit the island with booby traps before they get there. Is Chief Saboteur taken? Frankly, I don’t think counterintelligence is going to be needed. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/28 "2000-07-17T16:16:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > \*\*Oh good, more volunteers . . . > > Current Order of Battle: > Tripler - _Chief Prosecutor_ > General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - _Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps_ > Major Lurkernomore - _Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation_ > Major Bucky - _Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander_ \*\* Ah, spy satellites, fiber-optic cameras, techno-toys… Amazing what you can get at the CIA yard sale… ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/29 "2000-07-17T16:30:24Z")
Bravo, men. Job well done. How may I be of assistance to this noble cause? ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/30 "2000-07-17T16:36:35Z")
Shall I hereby suggest that all copies of Ms. Spears’ attempt to cover “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones be melted down into vinyl pants for her to wear as she crawls through a desert with no water and no hope of rescue as vultures circle her dying body and try to figure out how they are going to get the saran wrap off her rotting carcass? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/31 "2000-07-17T18:28:14Z")
Awright!! Come on, gang! Keep them enlistees comin’! Current Order of Battle: Tripler - _Chief Prosecutor_ General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - _Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps_ Major Lurkernomore - _Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation_ Major Bucky - _Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander_ Captain Balance - _Special Operations/Unconventional Warfare Officer_ Major SwimmingRiddles - _Commander Alpha Company, Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (A/19Bn)_ Major Magdalene - _Commander Foxtrot Company, Heavy Weapons, 19th Battalion Landing Team (F/19Bn)_ ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/32 "2000-07-17T18:43:04Z")
May I help? Somehow? And if so, can I please kill Celine Dion? ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/33 "2000-07-17T18:52:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bucky \* > \*\*2) I personally volunteer to take control of the punishment for Lopez, Spears, Carey, and others of their ilk (provided that they are gagged to remove any danger of their singing). Such punishment will, of course, be BARE BOTTOM SPANKINGS for them all! > > Lord Buckminster \*\* Let me guess… A spanking! A spanking! … And after the spanking, the oral sex. _Although I hate to admit I know this, the band from “Making the Band” is actually O-Town_ ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/34 "2000-07-17T19:12:25Z")
Current Order of Battle: Tripler - _Chief Prosecutor_ General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - _Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps_ Major Lurkernomore - _Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation_ Major Bucky - _Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander_ Captain Balance - _Special Operations/Unconventional Warfare Officer_ Major SwimmingRiddles - _Commander Alpha Company, Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (A/19Bn)_ Major Magdalene - _Commander Foxtrot Company, Heavy Weapons, 19th Battalion Landing Team (F/19Bn)_ Colonel Falcon - _Commander 19th Air Group (19 AG)_ Current as of 20000717 1508EST I need someone for Naval Group, and a Battalion Commander! Tripler I salute you all . . . ---
**Author:** ![Sledman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Sledman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sledman)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/35 "2000-07-17T19:20:48Z")
OK, now at first I was worried. I saw the list of enemies and was ready to say what the hell are you people talking about but I think I figured it out. By having The Band on that list you mean from the show Making The Band. Right??? If however you in fact meant THE BAND we got trouble and as distasteful as it maybe I will have to side with the aforementioned enemies of the State to defend the honor of THE BAND. I shall meet you all at Cripple Creek if this is in fact the enemy you mean. If in fact you meant the ones from Making The Band… Give me that flame thrower!!! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/36 "2000-07-17T19:28:00Z")
I also nominate the following additions to the list of enemies. Anyone featured on the NOW CDs 1-4. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![donnie\_rotten](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/71e660/32.png) [@donnie\_rotten](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/donnie_rotten)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/37 "2000-07-17T19:30:33Z")
can we add S Club 7 to the list of enemies? if they’re a potential target, where do I sign up? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/38 "2000-07-17T20:02:30Z")
Current Order of Battle: Tripler - _Chief Prosecutor_ General Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor - _Theater Commander 19th SDMB Corps_ Major Lurkernomore - _Intelligence Officer, Sortie Generation_ Major Bucky - _Military Security Police and POW Camp Commander_ Captain Balance - _Special Operations/Unconventional Warfare Officer_ Major SwimmingRiddles - _Commander Alpha Company, Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (A/19Bn)_ Major Magdalene - _Commander Foxtrot Company, Heavy Weapons, 19th Battalion Landing Team (F/19Bn)_ Colonel Falcon - _Commander 19th Air Group (19 AG)_ Major Sledman - _Commander Mike Company, Artillery, 19th Battalion Landing Team (M/19Bn)_ Major Donnie Rotten - _Commander Echo Company, Mechanized Infantry, 19th Battalion Landing Team (E/19Bn)_ Sled, as a fan of Classic Rock, there’s no way in hell I would indict “The Band”. We are going after ‘teenie boppers’. Silver-Fire, are you sure you want **all** NOW CD’s? I don’t think we’re going after Santana. Most others, yeah, but not Santana - he ain’t no ‘teenie bopper’. . . Current as of 20000717 1559EST The Dogs of War keep piling up. Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare to unleash hell . . . Tripler Prepared for war. My life for intellectual freedom . . . ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/39 "2000-07-17T20:45:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > \*\*Silver-Fire, are you sure you want **all** NOW CD’s? I don’t think we’re going after Santana. Most others, yeah, but not Santana - he ain’t no ‘teenie bopper’. . . > \*\* True. Now which one was Santana one? ::trying to remember the commercials:: I’m guessing it was the fourth NOW CD, “Smooth” with Rob Thomas (of Matchbox20) right? Okay, maybe not all artists featured. But we know which ones to keep should they come up. Anyone else know of an artist worth saving on the NOW CDs? ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2000, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624/40 "2000-07-17T21:03:52Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by little_bit \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Bucky \* > > \*\*2) I personally volunteer to take control of the punishment for Lopez, Spears, Carey, and others of their ilk (provided that they are gagged to remove any danger of their singing). Such punishment will, of course, be BARE BOTTOM SPANKINGS for them all! > > > > Lord Buckminster \*\* > > Let me guess… > A spanking! A spanking! … And after the spanking, the oral sex. > > _Although I hate to admit I know this, the band from “Making the Band” is actually O-Town_ \*\* Little\*bit, ``` I hope you wait until after they are sent to the med staff. They've devised a fiendish procedure for removing the vocal cords - they call the the "Fran Drescher Technique" Intel report: Subject Spears has been observed at Cyberpost 34-c. She has exhibited the predicted affinity for admiring the plastic cocoanuts. Cry Havok!! ``` [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-people-of-the-teeming-millions-let-us-declare-war/25624.md?page=3)