# Good Poetry from the Bad Translator **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2010, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566 "2010-04-01T12:46:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/1 "2010-04-01T12:46:05Z")
I’ve been playing with the [bad translator](http://www.conveythis.com/translation.php). While it’s a fun tool in it’s own right, I’ve noticed that when I put in a serious attempt at writing, what comes out is often more poetic and evocative than what I put in. For example my slightly evocative Facebook status about how much I miss the train in Cameroon gets translated into the much more evocative: Remember how he wanted to sleep deep in the forest? Only obligations also increased and awaken amid the green where men in long dresses saw rooms in the form of caps. I could not sleep for senior officials and calls for honey. What beautiful things can you get out of it? I think minor modifications for the sake of poetry should be okay. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/2 "2010-04-01T12:56:03Z")
Here is another little poem that Bad Translator created out of a story about a nice weekend. I think it’s kind of beautiful, and kind of sums up the weekend better than my original statements! Tell me what is good. Genitals. What’s new for me? I want more life. love. I am very old, very new, very afraid. My clothes… my heart beats faster… Wear my heart, I want my soul. This weekend, my God! ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/3 "2010-04-01T13:17:46Z")
Genitals certainly are good, aren’t they? ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/4 "2010-04-01T18:27:12Z")
I grabbed this chunk of academic density from a mass transit discussion: > [@](#): > > Suburbanization started more than a century ago, but the major trends that affect us today can be said to start after WWII. Because of the pent up demand from the Depression and the War the country immediately needed some 15,000,000 new houses. …10 translations later we get: > [@](#): > > In the suburbs more than a century, but we can say that today, after the Second World War, the main trend. Taking into account the Great Depression and World War II, the General Assembly that the country needs a new home soon 15,000,000. Intervening languages: Afrikaans, Albanian, Arabic, Belarusian, Bulgarian, Catalan, Chinese three times (Standard, Simplified, and Traditional), Croation. That’s just funny, though. Running it through all 54 translators it what gets you the poetry (and heapin’ helpin’ o’ WTF?): > [@](#): > > Miller, president and currently the most successful of the two world wars, the British army, depression, 1500 2 miljoner and my family. Rearrange that… Miller, president and currently the most successful of the two world wars, the British army, depression, 1500 2 miljoner and my family. ---
**Author:** ![Storm\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Storm\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Storm_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/5 "2010-04-01T19:39:04Z")
OK, so the Bad Translator is also somewhat psychic! I put in the phrase, “I love him so much I can’t even think straight!” After running it through the max number of translations, what came back was “I do not believe me!” Odd, no? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/6 "2010-04-01T23:02:08Z")
It’s amazing how > [@](#): > > When heaven’s in the music hell is in control > The angels got the voices but the devil’s got the rock and roll turns into > [@](#): > > I believe that music and sound, Ventilation and Mark Steyn. I can see myself playing with this for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2010, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/7 "2010-04-01T23:14:30Z")
And this classic line from Alan Moore: > [@](#): > > “They say that there’s a broken light for every heart on Broadway They say that life’s a game and then they take the board away They give you masks and costumes and an outline of the story And leave you all to improvise their vicious cabaret” becomes > [@](#): > > “Broadway, creative thinking and life of clothes, hot club action, history is not Breathing, and light.” Strangely deep, no? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/8 "2010-04-02T01:35:57Z")
My favorite anonymism, “just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you”, becomes “Crazy just because they disagree” 25 steps later, and simply “Crazy, I disagree” after 55. EDIT: My brother suggested “Tis only a flesh wound”, which after 54 rounds became the simple “I do.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/9 "2010-04-02T01:48:30Z")
My son, my father He said his son, when he shows the speed of the Messiah This means that the draft can be hell Touzaburakkuparedo Days of Summer ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/10 "2010-04-02T01:50:55Z")
And a completely different song: “When the earnings.” [spoiler]Original text: “there’s a lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold and she’s buying a stairway to heaven” [/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/11 "2010-04-02T02:03:50Z")
\*Load up on guns and bring your friends It’s fun to lose and to pretend She’s over-bored and self-assured Oh no, I know a dirty word Hello, hello, hello, how low? \* …25 translations later we get: “Wood and shot his friend is a big loss, dry, oh, I’m a dirty word. Hello, hello, hello, how do you know?” and naturally it follows that: _With the lights out, it’s less dangerous Here we are now, entertain us I feel stupid and contagious Here we are now, entertain us A mulatto, an albino A mosquito, my libido Yeah, hey, yay_ …25 translations later we get: “Light is less dangerous, it’s fun, it is contagious, you fool each other and talk to white fly larvae” ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/12 "2010-04-02T02:37:21Z")
“Maybe there’s a God above and all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.” …25 translations later we get: “We have learned to love God, to disarmament.” Not sure that’s what Mr. Cohen was going for… ---
**Author:** ![KennerTheGreat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a8b319/32.png) [@KennerTheGreat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KennerTheGreat)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/13 "2010-04-02T03:05:22Z")
The first verse of “High Flight”… ``` Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of Earth And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings; Sunward I’ve climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth of sun-split clouds, — and done a hundred things ``` becomes, 25 translations later: “Oh, my calculator in hand, the heavens and the earth’s total, laugh, dance, Silver Convention-day classic in the number of new units - and article” ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/14 "2010-04-02T03:11:14Z")
This was a game in Philip K. Dick’s 1969 novel _[Galactic Pot-Healer](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galactic_Pot-Healer)_. ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/15 "2010-04-02T03:45:01Z")
A silly little poem I wrote in high school becomes: > [@](#): > > My husband and best friend, > my image or pain, loss of life, > so I did not play there. It almost sounds as if it could mean something. But what does it do to actual poetry? The first stanza of Poe’s Israfel becomes: > [@](#): > > The sky, the spirit of participation, his heart lute strings. > There are a lot of angels singing, and charming stories and wild Israfel stars, > and get its own anthem, its presence and voice, all mute. Hm. Surely not as pretty. What does it do to Dylan Thomas, specifically the first stanza of Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night? > [@](#): > > The race, death, anger, Insomnia fire Deaths Well, it tried. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/16 "2010-04-02T04:31:12Z")
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." …54 translations later we get: “Attracted 4.7, our goal is to create a new type of bottom and Africa.” Pulling a phrase from my e-mail: " It’s easy to check your dividend balance online - all you need is your REI member number. " …54 translations later we get: “G. Price updated the status of each constituent teuharyeomyeoneybogi” ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/17 "2010-04-02T04:35:11Z")
We are a family. In the meantime, break and collapse, so we treat each other? Each item in a different light. How’d you lose good for us? Disappeared. Dispersion and confusion. What are we to maintain this achievement ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/18 "2010-04-02T04:45:12Z")
A lot of people say stairway to heaven has cluck lyrics, so I wanted to see if it could improve them. "There’s a lady whose sure all that glitters is gold And she’s buying a stairway to heaven. When she gets there, she knows if the stores are all closed With a word she can get what she came for. Ooh, ooh, and she’s buying a stairway to heaven. " “All that glitters is gold can be purchased in the sky. If you know all the shops are closed, so maybe not. Oh, you can buy sky.” ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/19 "2010-04-02T04:52:06Z")
From the beginning of Hamlet’s To Be or Not To Be: Whether or not that is the question: If a high frame Tess insult and wealth arrow or maritime affairs and the opposition denounced weapons. Death is not a dream. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566/20 "2010-04-02T04:53:46Z")
Original text: I wrote this little prose off the top of my head: "How many pickles do you want on your sandwich. The best pickle has a satisfying crunch to it, and a slight vinegary aftertaste. It’s like sex in a slice. Don’t you want a pickle? " …54 translations later we get: “Bread and salt. Small issues of peace, and Urgency. In the same way sex. Why do little to change this?” Why do little indeed. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-poetry-from-the-bad-translator/534566.md?page=2)