Or had his face eaten off.
we’ve already got enough haughty lecturers here, we don’t need another.
'cos if my time on this planet has taught me anything, it’s that what people say they would do (when they have no skin in the game) and what they actually do when the chips are down are almost always two very different things.
It seems it would at least be prudent to call the police if you found an unattended child. ‘‘Not becoming involved’’ could lead to an actual dangerous situation for the child.
The father is an asshole, but I don’t think losing track of his child is part of what makes him an asshole. Doesn’t everyone remember getting lost at some point during their childhood? It seems like a rite of passage. But maybe I am old.
Indeed. I would agree the Good Samaritan did not act in the smartest fashion. As an adult male in the US, I long ago internalized the message that if I were to touch a child that is not my own, in any circumstance, including a rescue, I am at risk of accusations.
That said, the father suffers from a syndrome that I see all too often. Someone makes a mistake - no way no how are they going to admit it, and they overreact in the other direction accusing others (in order to cover up their own transgressions). Pitiful. (Or should I say, Sad! - gee, why did that word come to mind…)
If I found myself near a clearly lost and distressed child and nobody else was doing anything about, after a short while I might ask the child what was going on. From like six feet away. And if they approached me I’d back up. No way am I going to touch something that seems likely to get me assaulted/arrested.
If you think that is the worst thing that can happen, you’re fucking delusional.
I agree with you Shodan. I would also help the kid. There’s no way I could live with myself if I walked away from a lost kid in distress. What I wouldn’t do is try to take her anywhere. In the mall, I would call mall security. Outside or elsewhere I would call the police. After calling, we would just stay put until they arrive.
It’s only a matter of time before there’s a viral video showing a lost toddler wandering around while a man or men clearly sees the child but turns his back or walks away without doing anything. That man will also end up being the victim of a smear campaign, particularly if something happens to the child.
There just don’t seem to be a lot of good choices here, other than to follow your conscience and make the decision that you feel is best.
Did you read above how I said panic over stranger-danger is hugely overblown? So is panic over being arrested for trying to help a strange child.
Parents over-react; it’s in their job description. I’ve done it myself. The Internet loves to over-react and vent their spleen and recreational outrage before they know the facts, or even after. Some people can’t admit they’re wrong even a little bit. So freaking what? I for one don’t intend to let that stop me from helping a little kid if I can.
Regards,
Shodan
Well, I WAS in that situation. The family that lives a few houses down went off to a church function and left a seven year old alone outside the house. My wife and I stopped and helped him.
However, we protected ourselves.We didn’t take him anywhere, just watched him and talked to him, and called the cops. We wanted protection. Did we need it? I dunno, but if we had taken the kid home, and left a note (like what I would have done in the same situation in the 70s), would a hysterical overreaction happened? We’ll never know, because we just wouldn’t ever do that in this day and age.
It has been brought up on these fora before, that men are automatically considered guilty in the vicinity of a child.
Many people pooh-pooh this, saying that men who think such a thing are paranoid.
There’s a huge difference between “in the vicinity of”, and “actively carrying away”.
I’m pretty sure nobody here thinks the dude was smart for carrying the girl out to the parking lot. In fact, a lot of people here are trying to tell Shodan that, no, we dudes need to be sort of cautious with what we do around other people’s kids. Like the dude in the article really, really wasn’t.
Why wasn’t the father arrested for assault?
A year or so ago I was driving home one afternoon and saw a five- or six- year-old boy wandering around my neighborhood in his pajamas. I stopped and asked him where his mom was. He said she was “in the front room.” I think I asked if his mom was OK, and he said yes.
So I said, “OK, talk to you later!” I had groceries to put away.
No, actually I helped him find his house. I walked next to him until he found the house, and I knocked at the door with him. Apparently he and his mom were both napping, and he wandered off. I explained to the mom what was up. She was mortified of course. She was also pissed at the kid, as I’m sure I would have been. She didn’t say thanks to me, though, which was kind of annoying. Anyway, I was glad I was there to help the little fella. I’m also now glad that I didn’t get branded as a sex offender and run out of town on a rail. But if I saw a lost kid someplace again, I would of course try to help. I doubt I would try to pick up a struggling toddler. Maybe I’d just stay close to them until I found the parents or called the cops. But, either way, I’d try to help. I would sure hope someone would help if one of my kids was lost.
Panic over being arrested? No. If you don’t recognize that there are vigilantes who will inflict violence on you over mere rumors that you did something inappropriate with a child, I’m still sitting on the side of you being delusional. It’s almost certainly not the most likely response, but given the impact it can have on your life, you’d be a fool to discount the possibility.
If I was that Good Samaritan I would have looked for the nearest woman or cop to help me find the kid’s parents. If there was none I’d probably be shouting “Help! Lost child!”. I’d also charge that father with assault and then sue the shit out of him and anyone else who called me a kidnapper if it turned out the same way.
Honest question: if you thought calling the cops wasn’t a great idea, who would you call as witnesses and/or help? I live in a city where the police are not known for their proportionate responses and in a neighborhood that has reason to avoid them. If I was genuinely trying to help a family, I would worry that calling the police could result in spurious child endangerment charges (for the family) or a visit from immigration officers. If I could find the kid’s parents myself, I would greatly prefer that.
Depends on where you are and what the kid knows.
If you’re in a neighborhood and the kid knows where he wandered off from, you can walk beside them (not touching them) as you direct them back to it. If you’re in some public place (like our Samaritan, who was at a softball game), I’d first recommend asking the kid is name and then raising your voice and yelling that you’ve got a lost kid there - and if that results in nothing I’d then direct the kid to where the parents might go to look for him and there is more official supervision, such as an office or ticket booth.
Well, look, if folks are here illegally, I’d still call the authorities if their kid is in danger. Or if their kid isn’t in danger. Or if they don’t have a kid.