# Good stories that aren't true **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 20, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418 "2012-02-20T14:18:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/81 "2012-02-23T06:13:55Z")
> [@Mithras](#): > > … > And to prove that the run from Athens to Sparta is possible in that timeframe: > [Spartathlon - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spartathlon) That’s awesome! I particularly like the fact the record’s held by a guy called [Yiannis Kouros](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yiannis_Kouros)\*, who’s also done the whole Athens-Sparta-Athens run as well. \*Which isn’t surprising when you read his wikipedia bio - he holds the world records for all distances from 100 to 1000 miles! ---
**Author:** ![naita](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naita/32/5862_2.png) [@naita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naita)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/82 "2012-02-23T07:43:09Z")
> [@Gagundathar](#): > > Yeay, that permanent record silliness. > One of my classmates now is the CEO of an engineering firm. > He was also the guy who threw a whole stick of potassium down the toilet in the boy’s bathroom at my high school. > > My next-door neighbor was in the adjoining bathroom. > She was, unfortunately, on the toilet when the potassium… reacted explosively. > > She was ‘only’ blown upright from her sitting position and was treated for minor burns. > > The concrete block wall between the two bathrooms was significantly breached… as in a 6 foot hole had been blown through them. Bathrooms two were off limits for the remainder of the school year. I find that story unlikely. I’ve only seen that kind of **explosive** force from alkali metal reacting with water in the tv-series Brainiac, and it turns out they used actual explosives. The Mythbusters trying to replicate a McGyver alkali metal bomb showed it didn’t blow holes in a wall, even with several sticks of potassium. You’re producing hydrogen in an open environment and you’re not producing all that much of it before it ignites. Small explosions, yes, big explosions, no. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/83 "2012-02-23T08:34:03Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > What’s a blue card? It had all the force and terror of (junior?) high school’s permanent record, but was threatened in grammar school and maybe junior-high school. It was a large-ish index card. It was blue. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/84 "2012-02-23T08:49:31Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > It had all the force and terror of (junior?) high school’s permanent record, but was threatened in grammar school and maybe junior-high school. > > It was a large-ish index card. It was blue. Well, I admit that made more sense than what I expected. ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/85 "2012-02-23T09:48:43Z")
James Cagney never said “You dirty rat!”. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/86 "2012-02-23T10:48:54Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > So the ‘permanent record’ _as the concept is commonly understood_ is false. > > Everyone knows _criminal_ records exist. That isn’t up for discussion. What’s being talked about is the idea that, for example, having been tardy more often than you should have been in the tenth grade will prevent you from becoming an MD, which is simply false (unless it adversely affects your academic record (no, I’m not going to go into everything here you all know what I mean)). True, I see what you’re saying. Still, I was in high school at the time, and we paid a fine, but it didn’t go away so the CRIMINAL record is the permanent record. 😃 Plus we did get all the “OOOOOO, you guys got BUSTED!!” in homeroom on Monday. I think the school PR was really told more in grammar school. “Being tardy will kill your future!” Just like, “Santa Claus can see you!” So, you guys win on that one. ANOTHER ONE: “Abner Doubleday invented baseball.” I guess we still hated Europe when that went around. ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/87 "2012-02-23T11:25:18Z")
> [@Jake](#): > > Rhett Butler didn’t say “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.” It was “My dear”, not Scarlett. > Clinton DID inhale! (NOT a potshot!) 🙂 > Nero didn’t “Fiddle” while Rome was burning. The violin hadn’t been invented yet. (He played a lute, if anything.) I think I read somewere that although Nero was a ‘Nutter’ he was out and about organising the fire fighting of [Rome when it burned](http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/rome.htm) [Nero rushed back to Rome to organize a relief effort, which he paid for from his own funds](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Fire_of_Rome) ---
**Author:** ![Hogfather65](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@Hogfather65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hogfather65)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/88 "2012-02-23T11:27:36Z")
> [@Peanuthead](#): > > James Cagney never said “You dirty rat!”. No one ever said “Beam me up Scotty”, and Mr Spock never said “It’s life Jim, but not as we know it.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/89 "2012-02-23T13:03:45Z")
> [@Hogfather65](#): > > No one ever said “Beam me up Scotty”, and Mr Spock never said “It’s life Jim, but not as we know it.” Well, except in the song _Star Trekkin’_: > **[Star Trekkin'](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trekkin%27)** > > "Star Trekkin'" is a song by British novelty band the Firm. It parodies the original Star Trek TV series and prominently features comical voice caricatures of the Trek characters, provided by members of the band, a studio technician, and the wife of one of the songwriters. One of the song's phrases, "It's life, Jim, but not as we know it", actually originated with "Star Trekkin'" but has been subsequently misattributed to the TV series. > "Star Trekkin'" was released as a single in May 1987. The... ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/90 "2012-02-23T14:44:06Z")
> [@Hogfather65](#): > > No one ever said “Beam me up Scotty”, It was used in Star Trek Animated, and Kirk said “Scotty, Beam me up” in the fourth movie. > [@](#): > > and Mr Spock never said “It’s life Jim, but not as we know it.” Close enough. He had a line in The Motion Picture : : It’s life, Captain, but not life as we know it. I think we can forgive the slight adjustment to fit the meter of the song. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/91 "2012-02-23T15:44:10Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Well, I admit that made more sense than what I expected. I’m intrigued. What _did_ you expect? ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/92 "2012-02-23T16:26:55Z")
Apollo 13: never “Houston, we have a problem.” ---
**Author:** ![Vicullum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/6de8d8/32.png) [@Vicullum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vicullum)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/93 "2012-02-23T18:05:24Z")
Some famous person is at a dinner. During a conversation he offhandedly asks the hostess if she’d sleep with him for a million dollars. Reluctantly, she says she would. “How about $1 then?” he asks. “What kind of person do you think I am?” she demands, affronted. “Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we’re negotiating on a price.” I’ve heard this story a few times, with the famous person being either Winston Churchill or George Bernard Shaw. Which means the whole thing is probably made up. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/94 "2012-02-23T21:06:24Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > I’m intrigued. What _did_ you expect? [Something in yellow, perhaps.](http://www.retrologic.com/jargon/G/green-card.html) Actually, I didn’t really expect a card as such at all; I expected more of a general record-keeping system for a specific class of offenses. ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/95 "2012-02-23T21:58:27Z")
For good stories that turned out to be false, Mother Teresa must rank near the top. She might have helped somewhat but not nearly to the extent that her story was portrayed, and without nearly the compassion she was credited for having. ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/96 "2012-02-23T22:23:13Z")
> [@Vicullum](#): > > Some famous person is at a dinner. During a conversation he offhandedly asks the hostess if she’d sleep with him for a million dollars. Reluctantly, she says she would. > “How about $1 then?” he asks. > “What kind of person do you think I am?” she demands, affronted. > “Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we’re negotiating on a price.” > > I’ve heard this story a few times, with the famous person being either Winston Churchill or George Bernard Shaw. Which means the whole thing is probably made up. There’s a series of Winston Churchill / Lady Astor exchanges that are probably UL: LA: “Mister Churchill, if you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.” WC: “Lady Astor, I you were my wife I would drink it…” LA: (shocked) " Mister Churchill, you are _drunk_!" WC: “And you, Lady Astor, are ugly. And tomorrow, I shall be sober…” Too Good To Be True. Then there’s the Cherry Tree Principle: “It’s easy to tell the truth when you are the one holding the axe.” ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/97 "2012-02-23T23:36:48Z")
> [@](#): > > For good stories that turned out to be false, Mother Teresa must rank near the top. She might have helped somewhat but not nearly to the extent that her story was portrayed, and without nearly the compassion she was credited for having. So, “didn’t do quite as much good as some people think” now ranks near the top as false stories go? I think you need to flesh that out a bit more if you’re going to be taken seriously. Probably in Great Debates. And I’ve never heard the “now we’re just negotiating on a price” bit attributed to anyone in particular, just as a generic joke. ---
**Author:** ![zombywoof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/9e8a1a/32.png) [@zombywoof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zombywoof)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/98 "2012-02-23T23:56:00Z")
Winston Churchill’s (probably apocryphal) martini recipe, which I’ve also seen attributed to Alfred Hitchcock: Pour dry gin into a glass, glance across the room at a bottle of vermouth, drink. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/99 "2012-02-24T00:14:46Z")
> [@Leo\_Bloom](#): > > Apollo 13: never “Houston, we have a problem.” That’s nitpicking- the actual line is “Houston, we’ve had a problem”. > **[Apollo 13](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_13#Oxygen_tank_incident)** > > Apollo 13 (April 11–17, 1970) was the seventh crewed mission in the Apollo space program and would have been the third Moon landing. The craft was launched from Kennedy Space Center on April 11, 1970, but the landing was aborted after an oxygen tank in the service module (SM) exploded two days into the mission, disabling its electrical and life-support system. The crew, supported by backup systems on the Apollo Lunar Module (LM), instead looped around the Moon in a circumlunar trajectory and... ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418/100 "2012-02-24T00:24:37Z")
> [@Hogfather65](#): > > No one ever said “Beam me up Scotty”, and Mr Spock never said “It’s life Jim, but not as we know it.” But Bones did say “He’s dead, Jim!” from time to time 😛 AND… Leonard Nimoy also said “He’s dead, Jim!” !! (That is, Leonard Nimoy in his role as Paris on Mission Impossible, speaking to Phelps.) But did Bones ever say “I’m a doctor, not a web programmer?” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/good-stories-that-arent-true/613418.md?page=6)