# Goofy Christmas Lights **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 6, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315 "2000-12-06T15:36:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/1 "2000-12-06T15:36:18Z")
No, I don’t have any pictures, but I have seen some really strange Christmas displays. 1. Mr. & Mrs. Blue. They have blue icicle lights, blue candles in the windows, blue lights on the bushes, blue tube lights around the windows…all blue. Hey, I like blue as much as the next person, but this is just, well, it’s weird. Do they even make blue icicle lights? Or did this guy sit and replace all the white bulbs with blue bulbs? 2. The Patriotic People. White icicle lights, red, white and blue lights on the bushes and trees, and 3-candle candelabras in the windows, with a red bulb, a white bulb and a blue bulb in each one. It looks nice, but it’s Christmas, not the Fourth of July. 3. Mr. Stingy. He has a long row of big, full, lush old boxwoods across the front of his house. It looks like he went out there with maybe two or three strings of lights, threw them against the bushes, plugged them in and walked away. Lights aren’t that expensive, couple bucks for the 100-light strings at someplace like Target, right? Come on, use LOTS of lights, and try to put them fairly neatly! This looks really crappy. No sense of order, and is so sloppy looking. What was he thinking? Ok, what weird displays have you seen? (Remember, keep it nice, this isn’t the Pit.) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/2 "2000-12-06T15:47:04Z")
I drove past a place the other night that must have had 4 or 5 nativity scenes in various places on the lawn - some the plastic lighted statues, some the white lighted frames. It was JUST a bit much… There’s another place by my daughter’s school - I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that it’s a trailer - that has lights on everything that doesn’t move, plastic lighted toy soldiers, candy canes, angels, Santas, who knows what-all… There’s another house that has PINK icicle lights along the eaves and on the roof of their fake wishing well. 'tis the season… ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/3 "2000-12-06T16:24:26Z")
I heard on the radio about some guy in Florida who put 2 wooden reindeer in his yard engaged in reproductive activities. The local officials said he violated no law and let him keep them up. I’ll post the news story when I find it. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/4 "2000-12-07T03:09:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xizor \* > I heard on the radio about some guy in Florida who put 2 wooden reindeer in his yard engaged in reproductive activities. The local officials said he violated no law and let him keep them up. I’ll post the news story when I find it. [http://www.sptimes.com/News/113000/Hernando/Oh\_\_deer\_Lawn\_depicts.shtml](http://www.sptimes.com/News/113000/Hernando/Oh__deer_Lawn_depicts.shtml) [http://www.sptimes.com/News/120500/Hernando/Reindeer\_to\_rest\_insi.shtml](http://www.sptimes.com/News/120500/Hernando/Reindeer_to_rest_insi.shtml) (Thanks to [Romenesko’s Obscure Store and Reading Room](http://www.obscurestore.com)) ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/5 "2000-12-07T03:21:23Z")
Multi-colored icicle lights. Each dangling strand has green, blue, and pink lights–nothing Christmas related. I live in an apartment complex that only allows decorating on the exterior with white lights. I’ve often wondered what would happen if I decorated my railing with white lights, and replaced one of the bulbs with a green bulb…would anyone notice? ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/6 "2000-12-07T03:58:24Z")
This is the hands-down **Funniest Tale of Christmas Light Woe** I have ever read. I laughed for a good twenty minutes: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/pofunnies.adp](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/pofunnies.adp) {It’s from OpalCat’s page, but I have no idea who posted it originally. Here it is anyway…) > [@](#): > > There is an elderly couple who live on my street, Nonie and Oscar. Every year since they retired > the Christmas Nativity scene they set up on their yard gets more > and more intricate. > > The manger features two huge styrofoam snowmen wielding candy canes guard like at the > entrance, once inside the manger the first thing you’ll notice is the unorthodox choice of the > baby Jesus (most depiction’s of christ don’t include a big smiley face and red yarn hair). This is > because the baby Jesus originally included in the nativity set was swiped years ago by some > neiborhood kids who left only his broken plaster penis in his place. So a Strawberry Shortcake > doll has been substituted in the manger, and is doted over by Mary, Joseph, and a plastic > gingerbread man. > > Nonie and Oscar got the life-sized plaster figures of Mary, Joseph and the Wise Men on a trip to > Tijuana (I suspect it was a toss-up between these or the little peeing boy birdbath). All the > figures came painted in eye shocking Day-Glo colors. Mary wears an electric blue robe, the wise > men are clad in hot pink, neon > magenta, and psychedelic purple (mercifully these have faded to less vision damaging hues over > the years). One point of contention was the black Wise Man. Originally his face was painted > glossy midnight black with candy apple red lips and bright white skyward rolled eyes. This didn’t > go over well with some of our more politically correct neibors, who threatened to go to the city > council. In protest Oscar painted him lime green with purple lips and he remains that way today. > > Because of a lack of room in the mobile home the original manger animals were left of the side of > the interstate. In their place stand a herd of plastic reindeer, a concrete Eeore the donkey (from > Winnie the Pooh) a flock of pink plastic flamingoes, a ceramic toad, and most inexplicably, a large > paper mache’ dinosaur. Last year somebody rearranged two of the plastic reindeer in the “doggy > style” position. Oscar thought it was the funniest thing ever and it took a boot thrown at him by > Nonie to make him change it back. > > I’ve counted seven Santa Clauses (most are hollow plastic with light bulbs inside). Three on the > roof of the house, one on top of the manger, one as an unofficial fourth Wise Man, one that > seems to be doing something rude to a garden gnome, and a gyrating motorized electric one > which short circuited in the sprinklers (it used to go “Ho, Ho, Ho!”, now it goes " Heewoorah, > Hwoorah, Heeewoooorah,!!!"). > > The rest of the lawn is a tangle of blinking, mismatched lights and features a snow man and > woman made out of tumbleweeds stacked three high and spray painted > white. > > Ironically, if you were to go out and PURPOSELY try to make the ugliest, tackiest, most garish > Christmas scene on Earth you couldn’t touch this display, and Nonie > and Oscar don’t view all this as tacky in the least. I have nothing to add to this story. It cracks me up every damn time I read it!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/7 "2000-12-07T03:59:38Z")
Blinkin’ Baby Jesus is my favorite holiday display. ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/8 "2000-12-07T04:06:09Z")
The story of Nonie and Oscar is by Inky - we should ask him to get photos this year… ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/9 "2000-12-07T16:29:02Z")
I know a place where the guy got real busy with his jiogsaw and plywood - looks like 6 elves standing on each other’s shoulders with Santa on top, opening the second floor window to climb in. He has a big spotlight on this. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/10 "2000-12-07T16:48:08Z")
In California each year one guy has the most lights on display. I forgot how many but there must be a few hundred thousand. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/11 "2000-12-07T16:55:51Z")
The Nonie and Oscar story was a howl! Almost got in trouble at the office while snickering loudly over that one. When I got to the part about the dinosaur being included in the Nativity, I just about lost it. I don’t have much to add … I’ve seen a house with red and blue lights to match their Santa who is wearing a Buffalo Bills jersey (this was in Cheektowaga, natch!). This thread is making me want to watch Christmas Vacation again! ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/12 "2000-12-07T18:03:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sassy \* > \*\*The story of Nonie and Oscar is by Inky - we should ask him to get photos this year… \*\* I’ve been planning all year to devote a webpage to Oscar and Nonie’s Nativity display complete with photos, local newpaper articles about the neighbor’s complaints and interviews with Nonie, Oscar and afformentioned neighbors. Sadly, Nonie died of cancer this summer and Oscar has since gone off to live with one of his daughters. I’m still toying with the idea of a webpage devoted to tacky Nativitys, but Nonie and Oscar’s was one-of-a-kind and as I mentioned before could not be duplicated. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-christmas-lights/44315/13 "2000-12-07T21:20:18Z")
We have one of those in Albuquerque: [The Bugg House](http://www.abqjournal.com/news/179466news11-17-00.htm). Of course, it’s nowhere near as tacky as Oscar and Nonie’s sounds, but it’s become a giant (if well-loved) neighborhood nuisance all the same. I’ll post a picture if I come across one - or if I can fight the traffic long enough to get one.