# Goofy criminals, part 12 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2019, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744 "2019-07-09T00:48:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/1 "2019-07-09T00:48:49Z")
In Gresham, OR, just east of Portland, [a guy broke into a home](https://www.koin.com/news/crime/a-burglar-a-christmas-onesie-a-cat-named-spaghetti/) along with his cat, Spaghetti. Ryan Bishop went straight for the gold, pulling clean clothes out of the dryer and donning. . .a Christmas onesie. He also dressed his cat in a dog shirt. He then made coffee and helped himself to some cupcakes before hiding himself in the crawlspace, where cops found him. You just can’t make this shit up. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/2 "2019-07-09T01:14:03Z")
A guy broke into his cat? Yeah - that’s pretty goofy. Sorry - I couldn’t resist. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/3 "2019-07-09T01:16:53Z")
Apparently, the cat’s the brains of the outfit. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/4 "2019-07-09T01:29:28Z")
Luckily Spaghetti doesn’t have to worry about sharing a cell with [Bo](https://www.wbay.com/content/news/Woman-does-karate-son-gets-nude-dog-steals-cornbread-mix-from-Walmart-police-say-508512171.html)–Bo wasn’t charged. ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/5 "2019-07-09T01:39:10Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Apparently, the cat’s the brains of the outfit. The article says the cat was stolen, but they were able to find the owner and he’s back home now. Don’t blame a poor innocent cat for the actions of some psycho meth head… ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/6 "2019-07-09T01:47:03Z")
Meth is a hell of a drug. ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/7 "2019-07-09T02:02:04Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Luckily Spaghetti doesn’t have to worry about sharing a cell with [Bo](https://www.wbay.com/content/news/Woman-does-karate-son-gets-nude-dog-steals-cornbread-mix-from-Walmart-police-say-508512171.html)–Bo wasn’t charged. That’s a brilliant headline! > [@](#): > > **Woman does karate, son gets nude, dog steals cornbread mix from Walmart, police say** ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/8 "2019-07-09T12:02:07Z")
^ Apparently, the dog’s the brains of the outfit. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/9 "2019-07-09T13:00:34Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Luckily Spaghetti doesn’t have to worry about sharing a cell with [Bo](https://www.wbay.com/content/news/Woman-does-karate-son-gets-nude-dog-steals-cornbread-mix-from-Walmart-police-say-508512171.html)–Bo wasn’t charged. That woman is only 46 years old??? Must have lived a damn tough life! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/10 "2019-07-09T13:01:40Z")
> [@DPRK](#): > > The article says the cat was stolen, but they were able to find the owner and he’s back home now. Don’t blame a poor innocent cat for the actions of some psycho meth head… Correction: the homeowner is taking care of the cat and is using social media to try to locate the owner. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/11 "2019-07-09T14:41:50Z")
The local news reporter said that the cop he interviewed commented that “The cat was clearly the brains of the operation.” ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/12 "2019-07-09T18:05:33Z")
Gresham: too weird for Portland. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/13 "2019-07-09T18:23:51Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Luckily Spaghetti doesn’t have to worry about sharing a cell with [Bo](https://www.wbay.com/content/news/Woman-does-karate-son-gets-nude-dog-steals-cornbread-mix-from-Walmart-police-say-508512171.html)–Bo wasn’t charged. This had me crying from laughing just now. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/14 "2019-07-12T00:01:46Z")
(Channeling Carnac): [Whisky, a gun, a rattlesnake, and uranium](https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/07/11/us/rattlesnake-uranium-oklahoma-trnd/index.html). ---
**Author:** ![DPRK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/15 "2019-07-12T00:12:44Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Correction: the homeowner is taking care of the cat and is using social media to try to locate the owner. Hmm. At any rate, [this page](https://www.reddit.com/r/Portland/comments/camzi3/if_anyones_had_their_gray_longhaired_cat_stolen/) says the cat is “safely home” as of a few days ago. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/16 "2019-07-12T01:52:33Z")
In my neck of the woods, three criminal masterminds apparently took the phrase “let’s go rob a house” the wrong way. They tried to steal a house (well, a shed) by dragging it down the road behind their pickup. Surprising no one, it turns out meth was involved. [3 men in Maine allegedly tried to steal a shed by dragging it behind their pickup truck](https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2018/05/22/maine-shed-theft) ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/17 "2019-07-12T02:19:07Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > That woman is only 46 years old??? Must have lived a damn tough life! Welcome to meth. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/18 "2019-07-12T02:28:31Z")
> [@bibliophage](#): > > In my neck of the woods, three criminal masterminds apparently took the phrase “let’s go rob a house” the wrong way. They tried to steal a house (well, a shed) by dragging it down the road behind their pickup. Surprising no one, it turns out meth was involved. [https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2018/05/22/maine-shed-theft](https://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2018/05/22/maine-shed-theft) The ex-owner is now Arthur “No Sheds” Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/19 "2019-07-12T03:38:35Z")
NM. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/20 "2019-07-12T03:49:55Z")
I once made Threadspotting with this one: [Naked man running on highway, his prosthenic leg on fire.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=570384) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744.md?page=2)