# Goofy criminals, part 12 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2019, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744 "2019-07-09T00:48:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/21 "2019-07-12T13:53:48Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > (Channeling Carnac): [Whisky, a gun, a rattlesnake, and uranium](https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/07/11/us/rattlesnake-uranium-oklahoma-trnd/index.html). Madame Curie cuts loose. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/22 "2019-07-12T15:05:16Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > I once made Threadspotting with this one: > > [Naked man running on highway, his prosthenic leg on fire.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=570384) Jilad and Darmok at Tenagra. Shaka, when the walls fell. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/23 "2019-07-12T16:32:04Z")
[FAAART!](https://wgntv.com/2019/07/09/suspect-passes-gas-so-loudly-law-enforcement-is-able-to-locate-his-hiding-place/?fbclid=IwAR2PVvWUvrQfMnZByFQvU9JtPqbjFfIAjC-zOo2HmvSOcMB5sJ82G881nkE)lc ---
**Author:** ![TroutMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troutman/32/6721_2.png) [@TroutMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroutMan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/24 "2019-07-12T18:00:47Z")
> [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](#): > > Thatā€™s a brilliant headline! The entire article is wonderfully written. ā€œOfficers approached and commanded him to end the madness.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/25 "2019-07-12T20:10:45Z")
[Alabama man accused of feeding meth to a squirrel arrested](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/alabama-man-accused-feeding-meth-squirrel-arrested-n1024801) ā€œAn Alabama man who authorities said kept a meth-fueled ā€œattack squirrelā€ in his apartment was arrested Thursday on multiple felony warrants unrelated to the squirrel.ā€ Obvious band name: Meth Fueled Attack Squirrel ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/26 "2019-07-13T00:50:12Z")
The most amazing part of this thread is that none of these happened in Florida. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/27 "2019-07-13T03:24:03Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > The most amazing part of this thread is that none of these happened in Florida. Step up your game, Florida! šŸ˜ƒ Also, is it just me, or do those news site that want you to disable your ad-blocker have more space devoted to ads than to the article? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/28 "2019-07-13T04:13:14Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Luckily Spaghetti doesnā€™t have to worry about sharing a cell with [Bo](https://www.wbay.com/content/news/Woman-does-karate-son-gets-nude-dog-steals-cornbread-mix-from-Walmart-police-say-508512171.html)ā€“Bo wasnā€™t charged. Best laugh Iā€™ve had all day: > [@](#): > > Authorities said Vann even used a scooter in an attempt to run over an officer. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/29 "2019-07-13T04:26:09Z")
The pharmacy disciplinary website for my state can be a major timesuck. My own personal favorites: The man who was arrested for exposing himself to women in the parking lot of the store where he worked, and the woman who had a marijuana grow house but tried to blame it on her boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/30 "2019-07-13T14:14:01Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > The pharmacy disciplinary website for my state can be a major timesuck. My own personal favorites: The man who was arrested for exposing himself to women in the parking lot of the store where he worked, and the woman who had a marijuana grow house but tried to blame it on her boyfriend. Reminds of an incident when I was volunteering with a police department years ago. A college kid came into the station and complained to the matron that someone had sold him marijuana that had been cut with something. She told him to bring it in so she could look at it, which the moron did (keep in mind this was in the 70s). He was promptly arrested for possession. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/31 "2019-07-13T16:56:48Z")
So Iā€™m waiting at the bus stop right next to the gas station. A man with a gas can starts pouring liquid on the ground. Did I mention the fire station is on the next block to the bus stop and gas station? I call 911, and the fire marshal pulls up before I can hang up. A bus shows up, and I get the hell out of there as two fire engines pull up. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/32 "2019-07-13T17:33:23Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > So Iā€™m waiting at the bus stop right next to the gas station. A man with a gas can starts pouring liquid on the ground. > > Did I mention the fire station is on the next block to the bus stop and gas station? > > I call 911, and the fire marshal pulls up before I can hang up. A bus shows up, and I get the hell out of there as two fire engines pull up. Reminds me of [Dean Harvey Hicks](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1991-07-12-me-1969-story.html), who parked his truck bomb in front of a fire station. Firefighters noticed smoke rising from the truck and prevented a complete detonation. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/33 "2019-07-13T18:49:34Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Reminds of an incident when I was volunteering with a police department years ago. A college kid came into the station and complained to the matron that someone had sold him marijuana that had been cut with something. She told him to bring it in so she could look at it, which the moron did (keep in mind this was in the 70s). He was promptly arrested for possession. šŸ˜› Why do you think they call it dope? In recent years, some police departments have put out a call for people to bring in their drugs to be tested for anthrax and Ebola. You guessed it - people have fallen for it. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2019, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/34 "2019-07-15T03:02:52Z")
The cops let Bo off with a warning? ā€œBAD DOG!! BAD!! Do NOT steal corn bread mix! BAD BAD DOG!! BAD!!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2019, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744/35 "2019-07-25T01:10:33Z")
How about [a drive-by alcoholing](https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/woman-arrested-after-pouring-alcohol-into-taco-bell-drivethru-employees-mouth-213139605.html)? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goofy-criminals-part-12/836744.md?page=1)