# Goon, you're free! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [November 29, 2025, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240 "2025-11-29T22:12:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/1 "2025-11-29T22:12:30Z")
Before approving this design, it would have helped if the marketing executives were aware that “goon” is a (pretty new?) slang term for “masturbate”. > **["That's hilarious": "Wicked" movie theater cup design flop is accidentally...](https://www.dailydot.com/news/wicked-movie-theater-cup/)** > > "Are they selling like... oddly well?" Of course, mayne they did know and this was a very savvy bit of viral marketing, but it reminds me of [the time McDonald’s suggested that customers should fuck cheeseburgers](https://marketingmadeclear.com/mcdonalds-id-hit-it-campaign/). ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/2 "2025-11-29T22:27:34Z")
[![](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kerning.png) ](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kerning.png) ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/3 "2025-11-29T22:44:01Z")
For those of us over the age of nine: > goon > Well-known slang term in sexual subculture of chronic and compulsive masturbators, used both as a verb and a noun. Means achieving the trance-like blissful state reached when riding the edge of cumming for as long as possible, perhaps many minutes or even hours at a time. Also denoting the absence of control, compulsively pursuing that feeling as a avid masturbator. The term has been in frequent use for at least ten years, perhaps emerging from the physical look of one who is “gooning” or “in the goon,” which is a self-possessed, glassy eyed stare of stupidity (thus, an oaf). Also known as “bator mush” and “slain in the bate.” See also giggity: > A word, originating from Quagmire on the show “Family Guy” that is used when somebody makes a remark that was not intentionally sexual but could be interpreted in that manner. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/4 "2025-11-29T22:53:48Z")
Another famous example of poor kerning. [![](https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aOmrM8N_700bwp.webp) ](https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aOmrM8N_700bwp.webp) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/5 "2025-11-29T22:53:49Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > it would have helped if the marketing executives were aware that “goon” is a (pretty new?) slang term for “masturbate”. I’m old enough to remember Alice the Goon on the syndicated Popeye cartoons when I was a kid. But to me, a ‘goon’ is a large, stupid, violent criminal henchman. Note that ‘Trump’s goons’ is being used currently to refer to ICE and other enforcers of Trump’s decrees. I only learned the ‘masturbate’ definition a week or two ago. ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/6 "2025-11-29T23:35:09Z")
Okay, you got me, what’s it supposed to be? I can’t come up with any spacing that creates sensible, benign signage. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/7 "2025-11-29T23:40:13Z")
Megaflicks? ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/8 "2025-11-29T23:40:14Z")
“MEGAFLICKS”. I heard long before that store existed, many printers knew to be careful printing the word “FLICK” in all caps, lest bleeding happen turning LI into U. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/9 "2025-11-29T23:41:02Z")
MEGAF **LI** CKS. ‘L’, ‘I’. discourse. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/10 "2025-11-29T23:46:28Z")
“Slain in the bait” sounds like a Pictish imprecation ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2025, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/11 "2025-11-29T23:47:52Z")
Oh, right. Of course. I remember that one of the creators and producers of Barney Miller whose name was Theodore J. Flicker appeared somewhere in the credits, and every time I had to look twice because they used kind of a fat font. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2025, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/12 "2025-11-30T02:21:35Z")
> [@Ponderoid](#): > > “MEGAFLICKS”. I heard long before that store existed, many printers knew to be careful printing the word “FLICK” in all caps, lest bleeding happen turning LI into U. And also while talking about Clint Eastwood. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2025, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/13 "2025-11-30T02:23:57Z")
> [@Ponderoid](#): > > “MEGAFLICKS”. Much like the now-infamous “10 FLICKERING LIGHTS”: [![](https://i.redd.it/77y89lth5ysx.jpg) ](https://i.redd.it/77y89lth5ysx.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2025, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/14 "2025-11-30T02:31:49Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Before approving this design, it would have helped if the marketing executives were aware that “goon” is a (pretty new?) slang term for “masturbate”. I know of one movie that might need a re-title. The Goonies ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2025, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/15 "2025-11-30T08:31:26Z")
The way the witch is gripping the broomstick is also not helpful in dispelling the unintended meaning. ---
**Author:** ![scudsucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scudsucker/32/14101_2.png) [@scudsucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scudsucker)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2025, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/16 "2025-11-30T08:47:25Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Note that ‘Trump’s goons’ is being used currently to refer to ICE and other enforcers of Trump’s decrees. Well, in reality, they _are_ wankers. In the British slang sense. But also in the US slang sense, being incels. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2025, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/17 "2025-11-30T12:44:32Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I only learned the ‘masturbate’ definition a week or two ago. Today I learned … ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2025, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/18 "2025-11-30T19:27:28Z")
[![](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kerning.png) ](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/kerning.png) OK, I immediately understood the MEGAFLICKS and FLICKERING LIGHTS but I’m lost on the xkcd entry ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2025, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/19 "2025-11-30T19:30:24Z")
I’m glad I’m not the only one. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2025, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240/20 "2025-11-30T19:40:32Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > OK, I immediately understood the MEGAFLICKS and FLICKERING LIGHTS but I’m lost on the xkcd entry > [@EinsteinsHund](#): > > I’m glad I’m not the only one. As a former graphic artist, proofreader and typesetter, I understand that xkcd all too well. Once you learn to notice bad kerning (too much space between the ‘c’ and the ‘e’ in offices), you’ll see it everywhere and it will bother you, like a crooked picture on a wall. Spacing between letters should be equal to the point that if you poured imaginary sand between the letters, you’d use the same amount of sand between each letter. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/goon-youre-free/1025240.md?page=2)