# Gossipy neighbor **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 13, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724 "2012-02-13T17:36:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/1 "2012-02-13T17:36:47Z")
My family and I have become friends with two families who live on our street (we’re renting a house). They’re all very sweet and friendly, and Mr. smaje and Baby smaje and I have all enjoyed getting to know them. I’ve spent the past 15 years living in apartment buildings, and we hadn’t really made friends with any of our neighbors until now. Dynamics seems a little different on such a small street! Family A lives next door to us. Family B lives across the street. Families A and B have know each other for at least 3 years, and Wife A and Wife B seem to be pretty close friends. Family B is going through some serious problems with their lives and their kids. Wife B has told me a little bit about some of the problems, but I haven’t delved too much and she hasn’t offered too much. Wife A and I saw each other yesterday and she proceeded to tell me some very personal info about Family B – and Wife A told me “Oh, I feel terrible breaking Husband B’s confidence, but I just HAD to tell someone!” Wife A has told me and Mr. Smaje personal info about Family B on one previous occasion – like, jaw-dropping personal info. Info we have no right knowing. Mr. Smaje is disturbed by all of this and wants to tells Husband B that Wife A has been spilling his family’s secrets. I’m hesitant to get involved and potentially ruin a friendship that has existed for a long time and will likely continue after we move away (which we will within the next year or so). I suppose to best thing to do is to stop Wife A in her tracks when she gets gossipy and tell her that I don’t want to hear it. ☹ Have you dealty with a gossipy gossiper like this? I don’t mind a bit of gossip here and there, but the stuff Wife A is getting into is WAY too personal. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/2 "2012-02-13T17:42:36Z")
Wife A is probably spilling any secrets you’ve told her, as well as spilling secrets TO you. You might mention to her that you feel very uncomfortable about telling her ANYTHING, since she breaks confidence so easily. ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/3 "2012-02-13T18:04:01Z")
Luckily for me, I have not told Wife A (or Wife B, for that matter) any personal secrets, because although I like them, I am not extremely close to either. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/4 "2012-02-13T18:19:32Z")
Just be really honest. “I’m sorry, but I’m uncomfortable with what you’re sharing with me, that seems something only Family B should share, if they wish to. Please, let’s talk about something else.”, change the topic, and move on. You can do it! ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/5 "2012-02-13T18:25:01Z")
I’ll definitely stop her in her tracks next time – but my husband really wants to tell Husband B that Wife A betrayed his trust. I have no desire to get involved in that way! ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/6 "2012-02-14T21:09:54Z")
I’d say something like, “I’m uncomfortable with what you’re sharing with me. If Husband or Wife B wanted me to know this info, I’m sure they’d tell me. How 'bout them Cowboys?” Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/7 "2012-02-14T21:17:07Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Just be really honest. > > “I’m sorry, but I’m uncomfortable with what you’re sharing with me, that seems something only Family B should share, if they wish to. Please, let’s talk about something else.”, change the topic, and move on. > > You can do it! That sounds about right. > [@smaje1](#): > > I’ll definitely stop her in her tracks next time – but my husband really wants to tell Husband B that Wife A betrayed his trust. I have no desire to get involved in that way! That is almost as bad as the gossiping - it continues (and probably exacerbates) the problem. The B family will probably find out someday, in some way, but it isn’t your husband’s job to tell them. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/8 "2012-02-14T21:20:11Z")
I’d put a sawed off horse’s head in Wife A’s bed so she gets the message. Or maybe just what elbows said. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/9 "2012-02-15T14:30:31Z")
I wouldn’t tell. It’s been done and can’t be undone. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/10 "2012-02-15T14:38:22Z")
Honestly, I wouldn’t bother doing anything. It’s no skin off your nose whether or not wife A is blabbing about husband B’s family. Who cares? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gossipy-neighbor/612724/11 "2012-02-15T15:51:47Z")
Yeah, I agree with don’t say anything to anybody, and change the subject if any of them start dishing the dirt on each other.