# Got any advice about buying an engagement ring? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202 "2005-05-24T01:12:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/1 "2005-05-24T01:12:09Z")
So, I may be proposing to my girlfriend in the not too distant future. But I don’t know squat about buying a ring. I mean, I know what kinds she likes, but I don’t know anything about purchasing them. Anyone got any advice? Questions I should be asking, etc.? Also, I’ve looked at some websites of some online wholesalers . . . they claim to be able to sell at lower prices than you’d get in a store. Anyone know if that’s true? Are there any major disadvantages to this other than not being able to see the thing before purchase (although they supposedly let me return it within 10 days for a refund if I don’t like it.) ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/2 "2005-05-24T01:34:05Z")
Two letters, friend. CZ. ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/3 "2005-05-24T01:50:42Z")
I’m sure there are others who will reply with more info that I have, but you’ll want to start with the 4-C’s. Color, Cut, Clarity, Carets. Don’t get overwhelmed by all the information the dealers will throw at you. Take your time and study them (both rings and dealers). Do not be rushed into anything, especially because they say it’s _on sale_. That’s the best way to pay too much. Cut - The shape of the diamond. This is the one area you _really_ need to find out _her_ preference. Some women like them simple, some elegant, some flashy. I’ve always been fond of the Marquis cut myself as it looks larger than it really is (see Carets below) and makes a statement. Color - Unless you want to get fancy and flashy and _really expensive_ with colored diamonds (blue, rose, etc) it’s best to stick with colorless, or as colorless as you can afford. Clarity - Again depends on the price you can afford, but as long as there are no flaws visible with the naked eye or simple jewelers loop, you’re doing OK. Flaws that you need special instruments to detect, aren’t really flaws in my book. Carets- How big do you want? … Or more importantly how big does she expect? As I said above, a marquis cut diamond looks as big as a solitaire cut twice its size, but most women (I think) prefer the soliraire cut. At least I’ve seen more of them in the stores than other cuts. Knowing what most retail places spend just on the store and location, I suspect that you could find a better deal online, but standard disclaimers apply about finding reputable places and knowing who you buy from. If you have time, there is one way to get the perfect ring for cheap… Go to a diamond wholesaler and buy the perfect diamond. Then go to a jewelry maker and design the perfect ring. The cost of ring and stone seperately will be about a quarter the cost of one premade, off-the-shelf. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/4 "2005-05-24T01:56:14Z")
Some people have begun buying engagement rings with colored stones – emeralds, sapphires, etc. as you can buy a spectacular gemstone for what an okay diamond would cost. Depending on how much a diamond would mean to your lady, that’s an avenue to consider. Btw, best of luck **tim314**! ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/5 "2005-05-24T02:01:01Z")
My honey surprised me with an engagement ring that is perfect for me - a diamond in the centre, with two sapphires (each the same size as the diamond) on either side of it. It’s a fairly traditional setting I think, but more personalized because he knows I love sapphires … ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/6 "2005-05-24T02:02:50Z")
While some would look down on the suggestion, try a high end pawn shop. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/7 "2005-05-24T02:03:42Z")
Find yourself a reputable dealer and make friends. Go inside and browse a bunch…have him teach you. Take your time. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/8 "2005-05-24T02:07:44Z")
> [@EarthStone777](#): > > If you have time, there is one way to get the perfect ring for cheap… > > Go to a diamond wholesaler and buy the perfect diamond. Then go to a jewelry maker and design the perfect ring. The cost of ring and stone seperately will be about a quarter the cost of one premade, off-the-shelf. I agree with everything but this last bit. Compared to the price of the stone (I persume you’re looking for a diamond), the price of that bit of gold is relatively nothing. Plantinum is marginally more. Most of the price (95%) is for the rock. I love great jewellery. I commissioned some great pieces (including some wedding bands) by one of my favourite [artists](http://viviennejones.com/index.html). Most did not have large exotic stones but were unique and interesting non the less. You may want to consider the non traditional approach. ---
**Author:** ![Renob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8c91f0/32.png) [@Renob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renob)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/9 "2005-05-24T02:22:17Z")
I’ll highly recommend [www.dirtcheapdiamonds.com](http://www.dirtcheapdiamonds.com). I got my fiance’s diamond there and was very pleased with its price and quality. I then purchased a ring from a jewelry store and they set the stone in it. All in all, she got a ring that appraised for 2/3 more than I paid for it. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/10 "2005-05-24T05:43:34Z")
My much-adored son-in-law read a book about diamonds before buying my daughter’s ring. The diamond is gorgeous! You will feel more confident and your your wife will be wearing a diamond to be proud of on your Fiftieth Anniversary. I would also ask older women in the town or city where you live about a reputable jeweler. Sometimes mom and pop jewelers who have been in business for a long time are your best bet. Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/11 "2005-05-24T05:52:26Z")
I did a lot of research for my engagement ring through [www.pricescope.com](http://www.pricescope.com) . It is a consumer advocacy group for diamonds and has a lot of diamond buying information. In the end I bought my diamond from Good Old Gold and had the engagment ring and wedding band designed by Michael B. I highly recommend Good Old Gold in the Long Island area. Jonathan from GOG took the time to explain everything needed to know about diamonds, then we chose one. We flew from Toronto and San Fran just go see his stones, but his website has everything you need to know about buying a stone. [www.goodoldgold.com](http://www.goodoldgold.com) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/96bed5/32.png) [@Cat\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/12 "2005-05-24T08:55:29Z")
Here’s another idea, although you may not like it - why not propose without a ring, you may want ‘something’ to give her at **the** moment but it doesn’t have to be **the** ring - flowers, a little bracelet or trinket, a novelty ring - then you could go looking for **the** ring together. It seems prior to his proposing **Ponster** did a survey of his female friends on the subject and they came out pretty much 50:50 on which was best (proposing with ring or getting ring together later). It made no difference to me that I didn’t get a ring on the spot - although it took us nearly six weeks the one we finally ended up with is perfect and it fits 😉 If you are confiednt about getting one on your own then here is a tip about sizing - make sure the ring you ‘borrow’ from her is one that she wears on her ring (not middle) finger & just in case ask the jeweller to throw in one of those little [clips](http://shop.store.yahoo.com/comfees/1083.html) you can put inside rings to make them tighter so that she can wear it straight away even if it is a tad too big. You know your lady better than we do of course but I know a few couples who have avoided the expense/hassle/one-upmanship games about size of getting a diamond altogether and gone with either the fiancée’s birthstone or another precious or semi-precious stone they liked the colour of. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/13 "2005-05-24T09:44:19Z")
Have you considered letting her pick her own ring? Or do you think she would prefer a surprise? I picked my own ring. That way it was perfect for me. It’s less romantic, but more practical. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Arwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Arwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arwin)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/14 "2005-05-24T09:54:00Z")
I hear \*\*Johnny L.A. \*\* might [have one for sale](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=317952) … ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/15 "2005-05-24T11:18:19Z")
> [@Mississippienne](#): > > Some people have begun buying engagement rings with colored stones – emeralds, sapphires, etc. as you can buy a spectacular gemstone for what an okay diamond would cost. Depending on how much a diamond would mean to your lady, that’s an avenue to consider. > > Btw, best of luck **tim314**! I agree with this. I’d much rather have a really nice sapphire ring than a mediocre diamond ring. For that matter, some women would rather have land or put a goodsized downpayment on a home rather than have a ring. A suitable engagement present depends on the couple in question. Do you have your heart set on presenting her with a ring? Does she have her heart set on a DIAMOND ring? I, personally, prefer not to buy new diamonds, for political reasons, but that’s just my own feelings about it. I’d also suggest asking your intended to go “window shopping” with you, if you really want to get her a ring. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/96bed5/32.png) [@Cat\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/16 "2005-05-24T11:25:55Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s less romantic, but more practical. I don’t mean to jump on you **AngelicGemma** but I didn’t feel that way at all. Shopping for an engagement ring together can be both romantic and erotic **tim314** , you share the excitement and the thrill/terror of making that first step of tangible commitment. The right vendor can add to the whole experience too. (Just don’t put yourselves under pressure to find the right ring in a single day!) ---
**Author:** ![EarthStone777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@EarthStone777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EarthStone777)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/17 "2005-05-24T11:49:30Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I agree with everything but this last bit. > > Compared to the price of the stone (I persume you’re looking for a diamond), the price of that bit of gold is relatively nothing. Plantinum is marginally more. Most of the price (95%) is for the rock. > > I love great jewellery. I commissioned some great pieces (including some wedding bands) by one of my favourite [artists](http://viviennejones.com/index.html). Most did not have large exotic stones but were unique and interesting non the less. You may want to consider the non traditional approach. Well, if you have commissioned several pieces, you may have a better idea of pricing than me as I only had one ring made. When I said that buying a stone and having a ring made would cost 1/4 the price of off-the-shelf, I was speaking of my experience of doing just that for my first wife. The ring I designed and had made was appraised for 4 times what I paid for the components. Perhaps I just got lucky. I second everyone else who has spoken about getting a ring with stones other than diamonds. My (current) wife loves saphires so I got her a ring with a beautifull deep blue saphire accented with small diamonds on the edges. She loves it so much more than if it was a traditional large diamond ring. So, as everyone has said, learn her taste and preference in jewellery, and decide based on that. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/18 "2005-05-24T12:39:08Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > It’s less romantic, but more practical. I’ll disagree with this also. Mr. S and I had a wonderful time ring shopping. He named the modest price that he could afford, and I actually chose a ring (anniversary ring) that cost about a third of that, as I’m not a bling-bling kind of gal anyway. Go ring shopping and take her to lunch. She’ll love it! ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/19 "2005-05-24T12:44:09Z")
I too picked my own ring. Irishfella proposed with another ring (pretty, but not an “engagement” style ring), but knew that I’d want to choose the real one myself. The moment he proposed was without doubt the happiest and most romantic moment of my life so far. The absence of a “real” ring wasn’t an issue to me. I have a platinum band with a yellow gold setting, with 3 round-cut diamonds, the cente being about 1/2 a carat and the side ones being about 1/8 of a carat each. I have TINY hands (my ring is a size J) so anything larger or more ostentious wouldn’t look right. We bought the ring from the man who made it, and he was going to make me another if this one broke during the re-sizing. I fell in love with the ring the minute I saw it in the window, which was more special to me than being handed a ring I felt only so-so about. My advice is to let her choose, or a least ask her what she wants. Oh yes…and if she has tiny/large fingers make sure re-sizing isn’t going to be a problem with the ring you do choose. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202/20 "2005-05-24T13:20:29Z")
You don’t have to spend a ton of money, no matter what the diamond people tell you. I’ve been engaged, and my ring cost $150 or so. I’ve told my SO that he need not spend thousands of dollars on a ring for me, and I’d rather have sapphires than a diamond anyway. I would feel very nervous wearing something that cost upwards of a few hundred on a daily basis, frankly. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-any-advice-about-buying-an-engagement-ring/305202.md?page=2)