# Got incredibly drunk and said some perverted things to some friends **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 9, 2016, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601 "2016-02-09T04:39:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jerry\_smissingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e56c9b/32.png) [@jerry\_smissingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerry_smissingfinger)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/21 "2016-02-09T17:18:10Z")
Report back when you wake up naked somewhere unfamiliar ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/22 "2016-02-09T20:40:11Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I think all of us here have, at one time or another, gone out and gotten drunk, made gay passes at our friends, sobered up, registered an account on a message board, and for our very first post, described what we did and how guilty we felt about it and asked for advice. It’s so common it’s almost a cliché by now. I make it a rule never to join a new message board unless (a) a friend asks me to perform an outrageous sex act; (b) I get in a fight with a biker gang; or (c) I have embarrassing lesions that I think might be the first signs of venereal disease. Needless to say, I’m not on too many boards. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/23 "2016-02-09T20:46:23Z")
I had a couple of friends come on to me when they were drunk in my very early drinking days. I figured they were closet gays. As far as I know none of them turned gay later on and all went on to be married. If you were doing cocaine with the liquor you can join a huge crowd of straight men who for some reason turn gay when they do cocaine. I sat in on a lecture for Dr’s one time about how all these straight guys were comming down with HIV. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/24 "2016-02-09T20:47:04Z")
> [@Name\_1](#): > > The part that I’m obsessing over is when I told my one guy friend that I wanted to touch his dick or something like that. FAP > [@Lemur866](#): > > Personally, I like to scream at children over broccoli then register an account on a strange message board and ask for advice about it. fap ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/25 "2016-02-09T21:30:34Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > Friends my foot. Never get drunk when there’s a male who’s not a close relative. Because it’s not like sexual assaults are primarily perpetrated by people who already know the victim… ---
**Author:** ![Name\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f07891/32.png) [@Name\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Name_1)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/26 "2016-02-09T21:34:31Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > You joined the SDMB just to ask this? Might I ask what led you here? I’ve been lurking for a pretty long time now, so why not create an account and ask for advice? I like the people here. > [@pool](#): > > Is OP a man or a woman? I’m a women. Maybe I have just been freaking out about this a little too much ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/27 "2016-02-09T21:48:31Z")
You should touch his dick. Hold it, look it over in your palm, feel the weight of it, and marvel at the heat coming off of it. Only then can you decide whether you truly like it or not ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/28 "2016-02-09T23:16:10Z")
> [@jerry\_smissingfinger](#): > > Report back when you wake up naked somewhere unfamiliar Or after you’ve puked red wine all over a white carpet at some stranger’s house… ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/29 "2016-02-09T23:19:29Z")
> [@Name\_1](#): > > Am I obsessing over this too much? Not at all. In days gone by it would be a matter of making your apologies and retiring to the billiard room with a revolver, but these days? Maybe there’s a deep disused canal nearby? ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/30 "2016-02-09T23:42:59Z")
Ok, so I screwed up that last one of mine. To correct it: when you’re a female, never get drunk in male company. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/31 "2016-02-09T23:50:49Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > You didn’t have an Uncle Hal Briston that liked to talk about goats by any chance did you? DUDE! GOATS?! That’s sick! It’s sheep. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2016, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/32 "2016-02-10T00:09:35Z")
Or you can hold his dick, look at it, and loudly squeal “It’s so cute! It looks just like a real penis, but it’s sooo small!” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2016, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/33 "2016-02-10T00:11:43Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > DUDE! GOATS?! That’s sick! > > It’s sheep. Nobody ever calls you “Gigi the church builder”, right? ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2016, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/34 "2016-02-10T00:15:05Z")
^ If that was me, I’ll tell her “Oh really? The ‘ **Wendy** ’ tattoo expands to ‘ **We** lcome the the Wo **n** derful World of **D** isne **y**.’” But she won’t get the joke if she’s that drunk. Another reason I don’t like girls wasted. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2016, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/35 "2016-02-10T00:44:31Z")
> [@YogSothoth](#): > > You should touch his dick. Hold it, look it over in your palm, feel the weight of it, and marvel at the heat coming off of it. Only then can you decide whether you truly like it or not > [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > Or you can hold his dick, look at it, and loudly squeal “It’s so cute! It looks just like a real penis, but it’s sooo small!” One in the hand, two in the bush. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2016, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/36 "2016-02-10T00:53:43Z")
> [@usedtobe](#): > > You now know why the ability to “Hold Your Liquor” is valued so highly. > > And never get so drunk you have no memory. > > That is an incredibly scary situation - especially when self-inflicted. Wha? It would be a _lot_ scarier if it _wasn’t_ self-inflicted - ie if someone had dosed her drink. > [@the\_diego](#): > > Ok, so I screwed up that last one of mine. To correct it: when you’re a female, never get drunk in male company. Good point. Women should never go to bars or clubs, and shouldn’t go to parties that aren’t all-female. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2016, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/37 "2016-02-10T02:04:09Z")
I meant ‘drunk,’ an adjective; not a simple conjunction of ‘drink,’ where ‘drank’ is simple past tense while ‘drunk’ is past perfect, usually with a helping verb ‘had.’ Going to a singles bar doesn’t mean you have to end up like Jennifer Jason Leigh in the “Last Exit” movie. [![](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/3d/e5/a1/3de5a1b5ea501f4846ace5a84a7a2767.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/3d/e5/a1/3de5a1b5ea501f4846ace5a84a7a2767.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2016, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/38 "2016-02-10T03:21:19Z")
If I had a nickel for every time a friend said something inappropriate when hammered… It happens. The classy ones apologize when sober and never do it again. So, apologize and don’t do it again. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2016, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/39 "2016-02-10T05:43:57Z")
The drunken **Name?** speaks the sober truth! ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2016, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601/40 "2016-02-10T06:35:11Z")
Hell, half the shit I say to my friends is inappropriate. Just this week we’ve had a 9/11 joke, and Abraham Lincoln joke and a picture of Jesus as a leather daddy. > [@the\_diego](#): > > Ok, so I screwed up that last one of mine. To correct it: when you’re a female, never get drunk in male company. This might just be me, but I could never keep a relationship going with a woman that I couldn’t drink with. Then again, I’m a terrible person (see: 9/11 joke). > [@snfaulkner](#): > > Or after you’ve puked red wine all over a white carpet at some stranger’s house… Or after you’ve puked white rum onto a red carpet with the cameras rolling, then eating the film, telling everyone present "If you breathe a word of this “they’ll never find your body!” then escaping on a totally rad hover-bike. Seriously, that would be a great story. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/got-incredibly-drunk-and-said-some-perverted-things-to-some-friends/745601.md?page=3)