# Gotta pit- the cops. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 12, 2009, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892 "2009-01-12T09:04:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/101 "2009-01-13T20:31:42Z")
> [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](#): > > Please scan and upload the citation which lists “having long hair” as the reason you were ticketed. Yes, because the cop would write that on the ticket. Along with “I pulled him over because he was a goddamn nigger”. I think there is even a check box for that one. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/102 "2009-01-13T20:38:41Z")
> [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](#): > > The douche is stong in this one. His cells have the highest concentration of idio-chlorians I have seen in a life-form. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/103 "2009-01-13T20:45:51Z")
> [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](#): > > The douche is stong in this one. Yah, whatevah. Best driver you ever saw. In the old days, there was a place here called “Malibu Grand Prix”, where you could drive miniaturized formula 1 cars on a go-kart style track. The liability lawyers sued it out of business, but when I went there I freaked out the employees. Third lap around I came within 1/10 second of the track record. The guy told me to take it easy for the rest of my 10 lap ticket. I have been driving since I was ten years old, and have driven everything with wheels short of an 18 wheeler. Yes, I am a better driver than you, yes, I have driven more miles than you. And the idea that I am always getting busted, or I commit a lot of traffic violations, or have an attitude when pulled over is entirely in the minds of other posters. I am always polite to police during traffic stops, with the exception of the blatant rape of justice at the speed trap south of Seattle, and have actually only received the five tickets described in my OP, in my entire driving career, which I CONSERVATIVELY estimate is at one half million miles and counting. I am not whining that I get too many tickets, I am making the point that without exception the tickets I have received were BOGUS BOGUS BOGUS. And if you think about it, that is the only kind of ticket that a person who obeys all traffic laws can ever receive. Again, and without hope of getting an answer, how many of the folks criticizing me in this thread are LEOs or closely related? ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/104 "2009-01-13T20:53:41Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > His cells have the highest concentration of idio-chlorians I have seen in a life-form. Stick with driving the X-Wing fighters, moran, I’ll handle the real vehicles. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/105 "2009-01-13T20:56:08Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Stick with driving the X-Wing fighters, moran, I’ll handle the real vehicles. I’m not the one thinking we’re living in the year 2020. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/106 "2009-01-13T21:09:22Z")
Either CA is a lot crazier than I thought, you have very bad luck, or you just might be a douchebag. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/107 "2009-01-13T21:27:08Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Stick with driving the X-Wing fighters, moran, I’ll handle the real vehicles. Erin Moran? ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/108 "2009-01-13T21:30:03Z")
[Moran](http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/large/moran-7512.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/109 "2009-01-13T21:35:10Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > [Moran](http://media.urbandictionary.com/image/large/moran-7512.jpg) **Stan** ’s buddy’s wife has the worse case of camel toe I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/110 "2009-01-13T21:55:33Z")
Just remember that over 90% of all drivers consider themselves to be at least ‘Above Average’ drivers. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/111 "2009-01-13T21:55:47Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Yah, whatevah. Best driver you ever saw. In the old days, there was a place here called “Malibu Grand Prix”, where you could drive miniaturized formula 1 cars on a go-kart style track. The liability lawyers sued it out of business, but when I went there I freaked out the employees. Third lap around I came within 1/10 second of the track record. The guy told me to take it easy for the rest of my 10 lap ticket. . . I was with you for most of the thread, man, but if you want people on your side, you really can’t be using glorified bumper cars as a cite that you’re a good driver. Sorry, man, you just can’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/112 "2009-01-13T22:11:03Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Yah, whatevah. Best driver you ever saw. In the old days, there was a place here called “Malibu Grand Prix”, where you could drive miniaturized formula 1 cars on a go-kart style track. The liability lawyers sued it out of business, but when I went there I freaked out the employees. Third lap around I came within 1/10 second of the track record. The guy told me to take it easy for the rest of my 10 lap ticket. I have been driving since I was ten years old, and have driven everything with wheels short of an 18 wheeler. Yes, I am a better driver than you, yes, I have driven more miles than you. And the idea that I am always getting busted, or I commit a lot of traffic violations, or have an attitude when pulled over is entirely in the minds of other posters. I am always polite to police during traffic stops, with the exception of the blatant rape of justice at the speed trap south of Seattle, and have actually only received the five tickets described in my OP, in my entire driving career, which I CONSERVATIVELY estimate is at one half million miles and counting. I am not whining that I get too many tickets, I am making the point that without exception the tickets I have received were BOGUS BOGUS BOGUS. > > And if you think about it, that is the only kind of ticket that a person who obeys all traffic laws can ever receive. > > Again, and without hope of getting an answer, how many of the folks criticizing me in this thread are LEOs or closely related? Malibu Gran Prix in Redwood City is still operating, and has little to do with driving skills on the road. The engines are different, the scale is different, the risks are different, and the traffic patterns are different. [http://www.malibugrandprix.com/park/redwood/grand.html](http://www.malibugrandprix.com/park/redwood/grand.html) No LEO in my family (opposite - family member is a criminal defense attorney who pays his mortage keeping the scum of society on the road). I will also say that given the depth of the laws, it is next to impossible to NEVER break a driving law, especially when many of them are based on value judgements such as driving too fast for the circumstances. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/113 "2009-01-13T22:27:28Z")
> [@Algher](#): > > Malibu Gran Prix in Redwood City is still operating, and has little to do with driving skills on the road. The engines are different, the scale is different, the risks are different, and the traffic patterns are different. > > [http://www.malibugrandprix.com/park/redwood/grand.html](http://www.malibugrandprix.com/park/redwood/grand.html) > > No LEO in my family (opposite - family member is a criminal defense attorney who pays his mortage keeping the scum of society on the road). > > I will also say that given the depth of the laws, it is next to impossible to NEVER break a driving law, especially when many of them are based on value judgements such as driving too fast for the circumstances. Those are nothing like the cars at the old Malibu Grand Prix, those are go-karts. the cars at the old Malibu Gand Prix were very expensive scaled down fomula one cars. The place, if anyone remembers it, was on Katella in Anaheim. The facility was on the edge of the parking lot of Angel’s stadium. And here we go again. Morons ignoring the main point, because they disagree. ---
**Author:** ![Ca3799](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9f8e36/32.png) [@Ca3799](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ca3799)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/114 "2009-01-13T22:39:26Z")
These are the kinds of stories that, even though I’m quite sure things did not happen as described, are no doubt remembered by the teller as having occurred ‘that way’. The sister (brother?) story goes: ‘The Doctors told me to abort/pull the plug/make my will’, etc. So cops and doctors…anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/115 "2009-01-13T23:26:29Z")
> [@Fish](#): > > There’s this thing called soap and water. I’m sure they have some of it in California, although they may have to pipe in the soap from somewhere. California cops manufacture soap from the bodies of their innocent victims. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/116 "2009-01-14T01:49:56Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Of course, I’m blessed with a healthy dose of common sense. Case in point: When I go to the laundromat, I bring change. Lots of it. And if you need to get more, I bet you’d bring your laundry along to make sure it doesn’t get stolen. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/117 "2009-01-14T02:48:57Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > I am pretty much a road warrior, and a better driver than you, unless you are Mario Andretti. Okay, so you’re a good driver. Have you ever taken a driver safety course? Bumper cars don’t count. I’ve taken two - The Smith System driving course and EVOC (Emergency Vehicle Operations Course). I like to think I’m a good driver, but I’d never go around bragging about it. I jokingly call myself a road warrior because I drive for work, and sometimes log over 100 miles a day. I don’t take my driving skills for granted, though. Goddamn, you’re a dickhead. Between this thread, the one about eBay shipping and your rant a while back about firefighters, I’m convinced you’re a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/118 "2009-01-14T03:41:53Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Again, and without hope of getting an answer, how many of the folks criticizing me in this thread are LEOs or closely related? What is it with this astrology bullshit? ---
**Author:** ![Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9adbd/32.png) [@Fell\_through\_the\_Ice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fell_through_the_Ice)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/119 "2009-01-14T04:00:14Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Yes, because the cop would write that on the ticket. Ok, douche, I’ll humour you. :rolleyes: What EXACTLY were you cited for in each instance? ---
**Author:** ![DarrenS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@DarrenS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarrenS)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892/120 "2009-01-14T05:08:39Z")
[QUOTE=Stan Shmenge] Best driver you ever saw. In the old days, there was a place here called “Malibu Grand Prix”, where you could drive miniaturized formula 1 cars on a go-kart style track. The liability lawyers sued it out of business, but when I went there I freaked out the employees. Third lap around I came within 1/10 second of the track record. The guy told me to take it easy for the rest of my 10 lap ticket. [/QUOTE] Now, I can’t be the only one who thought of [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geZoES9KQ-Q) scene from the British version of the Office. About 1:15 in. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gotta-pit-the-cops/480892.md?page=7)