# Government efficiency, or, My mind is blown **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 1, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548 "2006-02-01T19:08:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/21 "2006-02-03T01:06:31Z")
Six years ago, I needed a passport on about one week’s notice. By coincidence, I live in the same state where I was born, and near the state capital. I went to the records bureau and had a certified copy of my birth certificate in a few minutes. Took five trips to the federal building, over three days, to get the passport. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/22 "2006-02-03T01:43:31Z")
> [@False\_God](#): > > As someone who works with DHS every single day, Og help you. DHS was cobbled together from over 20 agencies, still doesn’t have a clear command structure or a permanent budget, and is probably the worst agency I’ve ever worked with. However, when it comes to LPR claims or adjusting status in the US, they tend to be of the school of ‘as long as all of your forms are filled out right and you’re not flying an airliner into a school, then welcome aboard’. Which is bad for me as a officer who investigates visa and immigration fraud, because lots of folks adjust status in the US, then tell all their relatives that it’s easy. Yeah, this is pretty much what i’ve heard. Apparently you have to be very careful to fill out all the forms correctly and make sure that you have all your documentation in order, but if you do, then things seem to go pretty smoothly. But even when they go smoothly, they still go slowly. Our own **Eva Luna** , who deals with this stuff as part of her job, told me that the process is currently taking up to three years. My situation, luckily, is one of the easiest, most straightforward kinds. I live in the US on a student visa (F1) and i’m now married to a US citizen and am looking to change my status. Also, i’m from a friendly country, not one that’s on the DHS watchlist, which probably also makes life easier. Anyway, fingers crossed. ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/23 "2006-02-03T14:42:22Z")
> [@Plynck](#): > > I went through this almost six years ago, so my memory is a bit rusty here. However, there are evidently two types of birth certificates, and you may or may not have the right certificate. Either are usually good enough for most things requiring a birth certificate. However, passports require a seal or somesuch thing from the issuer. My first visit for a passport was rejected; thank goodness I wasn’t far from where I was born and could go there to get the correct one. > If it is getting down to the wire, I think that the passport people offer an expedited service (at a fee, of course). Mine had an embossed seal from the issuing authority (State of New Jersey). At first I was concerned that it might have been squashed down after all these years in a file folder, but it was still crisp and visible. I did expedite it…no sense in cutting it close! ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/24 "2006-02-03T15:58:11Z")
That almost sounds _too_ easy. How do they make sure someone else won’t “steal” my birth certificate, by ordering it online? ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/25 "2006-02-03T16:57:45Z")
Here in Florida you can get an official copy of your birth certificate by going to the health department and paying $10. I’ve done it twice now: once for my daughter and once for myself. Both times I only had to show my driver’s license and fill out a short form, and they gave me the document on the spot. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/26 "2006-02-03T19:07:05Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > That almost sounds _too_ easy. How do they make sure someone else won’t “steal” my birth certificate, by ordering it online? They are apparently pulling info from a data mining application. Once I completed the online form with all my current data, a “verification” screen came up. This screen asked questins like “What other address(es) have you owned or lived at?” or “With which companies have you been employed?” and would list 4 options. I had to click the box next to all that applied. If my answers didn’t coincide with their recoeds the applicatioin would be denied. It did make me feel more secure about others being able to order my records but, OTOH, felt very big brother-ish at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/27 "2006-02-03T19:54:36Z")
They were probably doing it through the credit bureaus. Those are the exact same type of questions you get when you order your credit report online. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2006, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/28 "2006-02-03T22:00:09Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Tell that to anybody who’s ever had to deal with the INS. (Or whatever they’re called now.) I would submit that some government agencies are _intentionally_ inefficient. Want to discourage or limit some otherwise legal behavior? Throw 18 kinds of bureaucratic roadblocks in the way. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/29 "2006-02-04T00:21:47Z")
The county records got my son’s birthdate wrong. I had to go to the hospital where he was born, show some ID, get the birth worksheet (that’s what it is called) and then call Springfield (the capitol). A very nice lady told me to send a check for $15, a letter explaining the problem etc. I did so–she sent me back a form to fill out (it looks like a petition)–I had to get that notarized. And now I wait for his correct BC. True, the dept that handles this stuff only does so on MWF, but still, it was remarkably painless (so far). Too bad he already has his passport–god knows what we’ll have to do to get that changed! ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/30 "2006-02-04T12:18:23Z")
> [@Ca3799](#): > > Lately, I’ve been dealing with the FDA some. They reply to my email queries usually in about 48 hours. They also told me my papaerwork would take 6-8 weeks, bit it only took about 4! 🙂 I don’t know if the FDA has the same standard, but I work for another HHS agency answering and sorting the general e-mail; our standard is that queries have to be responded to within 5 business days (it’s in my job description). If you catch me at the right time of day, first thing in the morning or in the late morning, when I’m actually in the mailbox, I can turn out a response in under 15 minutes. And I do save “thank you” notes from the public. Never hurts to have them when work evaluation time comes around. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_Stimulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Digital\_Stimulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_Stimulus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548/31 "2006-02-04T13:22:38Z")
> [@NicePete](#): > > I would submit that some government agencies are _intentionally_ inefficient. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the case, at least in some instances. I can say that it’s the case in some private agencies – I once worked as a temp at an insurance agency, where I was specifically instructed to dawdle when handling Section 8 (welfare) cases. Pissed me off, so I ignored what I was told, handling them in the same manner as the “good” customers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/government-efficiency-or-my-mind-is-blown/342548.md?page=1)