# Grab the book nearest you. Right now. **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [March 9, 2010, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901 "2010-03-09T20:52:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![TheBoltEater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheBoltEater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoltEater)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/141 "2010-03-10T23:50:52Z")
“How the Hell should you know?” American Gods, by Neil Gaiman ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/142 "2010-03-11T00:04:22Z")
I’m gonna cheat a little. The closest book is not a novel, it a coffee table book. “This extra special ale is spiced with coriander seed and roasted grain to give it a fragrant herbal aroma, followed by a rich, complex blend of spices, hops and malt on the palate.” _Beers of the World_ by David Kenning The closest novel could have returned a more interesting result except for the fact that page 111 happens to be the preface for the second story in the book. And more frustratingly there aren’t 11 sentences on the page as mister Lewis Carroll really enjoys his run-on sentences, parentheticals and colons. Thumbing through before and after most pages don’t have 11 sentences at all. ---
**Author:** ![BigNik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/73ab20/32.png) [@BigNik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigNik)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/143 "2010-03-11T00:12:28Z")
“Certainly a dogged Australianness, rooted in the language of pioneering adversity, can be seen in many of the contexts in which it is recorded: e.g (adj.) _You must think yourself a damned clever bushmasn, talking about tracking a bloody dingo over bloody ground where a bloody regiment of newly-shod horses would scarcely leave a bloody track_-M. J. O’Reilly, 1944; (adv.) _Here {sc. in Tobruk} we bloody-well are; and here we bloody-well stay_-C. Wilmot, 1944.” - The New Fowler’s Modern English Usage, Third Edition. I’m at work. (Usage 3 of the term “bloody”) ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/144 "2010-03-11T01:38:46Z")
People were always doing that in movies when I was younger. -Water For Elephants ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/145 "2010-03-11T01:49:48Z")
“The Japanese Imperial Headquarters was determined to hold Okinawa and hoped that the Navy’s Special Attack Corps (Kamikaze) - supported by a large portion of the surface fleet and small suicide boats - could destroy the covering forces of the American Fifth Fleet and the support shipping off Okinawa.” _The West Point Atlas of War - World War II: The Pacific_ Chief Editor: Brigadier General Vincent J. Esposito ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/146 "2010-03-11T02:14:50Z")
I have two books beside me on the night stand: “I have completed Part C of this form.” \*R.R.O. 1990, Reg. 68, as am. O. Reg 326/91; 41.00, Schedule, Form 1, Section B. \* “It is quite true, indeed, that no complete account can be given of social phenomena, and consequently of laws, till due allowance has been made for those modifying cases which are noticed in the _Esprit des Lois_; but their number and their force appear to have been overestimated by Montesquieu.” _Ancient Law: Its Connection With the Early History of Society, and Its Relation to Modern Ideas._ Henry Sumner Maine, 1864. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/147 "2010-03-11T03:04:24Z")
In dreams, you cannot apply the concept of the dream if you wish to stay immersed; in “living” a work of fiction, you must not let your thoughts employ the concept of fiction. Colin McGinn: _Mindsight: Image, Dream, Meaning._ That was actually the third nearest book. The nearest only had 9 (very long) sentences on page 111, and page 111 of the next nearest was mostly taken up by diagrams. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Spoonful\_of\_Awesome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@A\_Spoonful\_of\_Awesome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Spoonful_of_Awesome)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/148 "2010-03-11T08:43:53Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I’ve read it a million times, but not recently, so I’m sitting here racking my brain trying to remember why Sylvia did that. 🙂 Because she reactively called Don Grace (the school shrink) a “piece of shit” out loud and the cop Charlie was talking to on the intercom heard her. Now I’ve got to go re-read the story again. Damn you all. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Panurge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@Panurge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Panurge)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/149 "2010-03-11T08:46:16Z")
" E. hochedl. Gestr. die Liebhaber seyn aller Gelehrten und klügen Leute, werden selbst von allen geehret und geliebet werden, wann sie dieses dem ganzen Reich ersprisliche und höchstnöthige Wollthat J. K. M. helffen vortragen und befordern." (The sentence is on page 113 but is the 11th sentence from the beginning of page 111). E. C. Werlauff: _Historiske Efterretninger om Det store kongelige bibliothek i Kiøbenhavn_ [a book about the history of The Royal Library in Copenhagen], fraktur edition, 1844 ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/150 "2010-03-11T09:02:12Z")
“Chris wanted to play ‘Novocaine for the Soul’.” _Things the Grandchildren Should Know_, Mark Oliver Everett ---
**Author:** ![Mekhazzio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b38774/32.png) [@Mekhazzio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mekhazzio)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/151 "2010-03-11T09:09:28Z")
“Since the flight path marker will lag the gun cross, use the gun cross initially to set your pitch.” Falcon 4.0 manual (binder version) ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/152 "2010-03-11T09:28:07Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > - Turn to page 111. > - Find the eleventh complete sentence. > - Post that sentence, and identify the book. > - Don’t dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST book. Well, my nearest book didn’t have 111 pages, so I went with page 11. And that page only had one sentence: “and my piglet, known as Bob, of course.” From that classic of western literature, [Fifteen Animals](http://www.amazon.com/dp/0761130667/ref=nosim/?tag=tso-20), by Sandra Boynton, which I have now read so many times to the PiperCub that I’ve pretty much got it memorized. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Baffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@Baffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baffle)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/153 "2010-03-11T09:34:49Z")
**Repairing gutters and leaders is explained in Chapter 22; for information about solving foundation drainage problems, see Chapter 25.** _The Stanley Complete Step-by-Step Book of Home Repair and Improvement._ by James A. Hufnagel. Copyright 1993. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/154 "2010-03-11T09:40:23Z")
(What Northern Piper is not telling us is that it is 3:30 in the morning, and he is reading _Fifteen Animals_ to try to get himself to sleep. It is not Piper Cub’s bedtime reading; it is Pipers’, who is too macho to admit it.) ---
**Author:** ![kjbrasda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/74df32/32.png) [@kjbrasda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kjbrasda)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/155 "2010-03-11T09:42:57Z")
My nearest book has already been used (D&D PHB 3rd ed) so I’ll use the second closest. ‘On the day I turned sixteen, I went to stand on the hillside.’ Green Angel by Alice Hoffman ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/156 "2010-03-11T10:34:03Z")
“First, discuss what you can see, hear and feel when you listen to the poem.” _Passage,_ an English textbook for first-year high school students in Norway. If you’re interested, the poem is Shakespeare’s “Winter”. ---
**Author:** ![cckerberos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@cckerberos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cckerberos)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/157 "2010-03-11T10:39:31Z")
これに対しシーボルドは、日本の指導部は、ある程度右に行くだろうが、そのことは必ずしもアメリカにとって悪いことではない、と説明し、ジャッドも納得した。 [In response Sebald explained that the Japanese leadership was likely to turn to the right to some degree, but that this was not necessarily against American interests. Judd concurred.] _Political History of the U.S.-Japan Alliance: Ambassador Allison and the Establishment of the 1955 System_ by Ikeda Shintaro ---
**Author:** ![Nayna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ebca7d/32.png) [@Nayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nayna)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/158 "2010-03-11T11:52:02Z")
_The guard, a massive youth with a shaven head, steps out of the shadows, keys rattling._ The Witch of Cologne, Tobsha Learner ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/159 "2010-03-11T13:03:22Z")
The text of the book only has 78 pages, but if I keep counting pages and charge through the appendices, I get to Appendix page D-7: “The reference to how the item was to be coded by bridge inspectors has been eliminated”. Recording and Coding Guide for the Structure Inventory and Appraisal of the Nation’s Bridges, FHWA December 1995. ---
**Author:** ![Rala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@Rala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rala)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2010, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901/160 "2010-03-11T13:18:00Z")
“In the west, the Poles acquired sections of upper Silensia in 1921-22.” Funk and Wagnall’s New Encyclopedia, Volume 21 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grab-the-book-nearest-you-right-now/531901.md?page=9)