# Grabbing someone's dick while peeing is a real turn on? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 16, 2004, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032 "2004-08-16T02:08:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/201 "2004-08-17T14:13:47Z")
This is quite surreal. For perhaps the first time, i find myself on the same side of the fence as Brutus, facing off against Diogenes. Very odd. In a situation like this, I don’t see the grabbing of my private parts while at the urinal as a gag, or a misguided come-on. For me, it’s the prelude to an attack of some sort (mugging, rape, etc.), or else the actions of a seriously deranged individual. This is assault. I’d treat it no different than a stranger coming up from behind and punching me in the back of the head. Maybe it’s a prank, maybe he wants to incapacitate me so he can help himself to my money or my sweet ass. Moreover, these things seldom happen in crowded men’s rooms- it would seem to me that I was being singled out as a victim. The actions I take to secure myself from harm will most likely involve the total incapacitation of the person assaulting me. I have no idea if this person has a weapon, what his mental state is, or even if i can actually best him in a fair fight. But i would do my damndest to get him down and make sure that he stays there, and there’s no way I’m turning my back on him before that. Since I AM a law-abiding citizen, I’d contact the authorities following the event, but unless there are police within shouting distance, I’d do everything possible to make sure that the assault on me did not continue. After the beat-down (og willing), I’d probably also use a belt or something to secure him to make sure that he didn’t go anywhere. I’m not trying to be macho or anything- but it strikes me as odd that people assume the least harmful motivation on the part of the assailant rather than the opposite when it comes down to securing their own safety. Well, that’s it. I doubt I added much to the conversation, but there it is. -stonebow, self-described liberal that supports beat-downs for cock-grabbers ---
**Author:** ![Beltane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@Beltane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beltane)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/202 "2004-08-17T14:37:59Z")
> [@Stonebow](#): > > This is quite surreal. For perhaps the first time, i find myself on the same side of the fence as Brutus, facing off against Diogenes. Very odd. > > In a situation like this, I don’t see the grabbing of my private parts while at the urinal as a gag, or a misguided come-on. For me, it’s the prelude to an attack of some sort (mugging, rape, etc.), or else the actions of a seriously deranged individual. This is assault. I’d treat it no different than a stranger coming up from behind and punching me in the back of the head. Maybe it’s a prank, maybe he wants to incapacitate me so he can help himself to my money or my sweet ass. > > Moreover, these things seldom happen in crowded men’s rooms- it would seem to me that I was being singled out as a victim. > > The actions I take to secure myself from harm will most likely involve the total incapacitation of the person assaulting me. I have no idea if this person has a weapon, what his mental state is, or even if i can actually best him in a fair fight. But i would do my damndest to get him down and make sure that he stays there, and there’s no way I’m turning my back on him before that. > > Since I AM a law-abiding citizen, I’d contact the authorities following the event, but unless there are police within shouting distance, I’d do everything possible to make sure that the assault on me did not continue. After the beat-down (og willing), I’d probably also use a belt or something to secure him to make sure that he didn’t go anywhere. > > I’m not trying to be macho or anything- but it strikes me as odd that people assume the least harmful motivation on the part of the assailant rather than the opposite when it comes down to securing their own safety. > > Well, that’s it. I doubt I added much to the conversation, but there it is. > > -stonebow, self-described liberal that supports beat-downs for cock-grabbers I have to say I agree with this. If a person comes up behind me in a situation that severly restricts my ability to defend myself and makes what could be the beginings of a sexaul assault, I will defend myself to the best of my ability. _IF_ the person, immediatly retreats, meaning in this case, fleeing the area the restricts my movement (the stall, or the bathroom if it is a tiny one person room as described in the OP) then I would not persue as I am no longer in danger. _but_ as long as the attacker (word choice deliberate) remains in the stall with me, thus restrcting my abiltiy to flee myself, then he is a threat as long as he is conscious. A perons who will intitiate a low-grade sexual assault may very well escalate to more harmful methods when resisted. The _only_ way to be safe is to incapacitate the person, or to flee, There is no reliable way to incapacitate a person in such a situation other than rendering them unconscious or causing injuru such as a dislocated knee or similar. Fleeing the room would also be acceptable if possible, but that may not be possilbe with the attacker between me and the door. All of that said, in the OP, the potential attacker backed off immediatly when resisted, wheras the second story it was definatly an attack. I think both responses where correct for the situations that the people found themselves in. I do think, however, that everyone is overreacting a bit. Furthermore, I would like to say that a 5’4 physically slight gentleman who was in the grabbed from beind in a urinal by a 5’10 muscular woman would be perfectly justified in beating her to unconsciousness, as this is the only way he could ensure his safety. The average man vs the average woman would be different, assuming the absence of a weapon ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/203 "2004-08-17T20:46:41Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Dio, you know I love you, but aren’t we being a _tad_ melodramatic here? I don’t think Diogenes is being melodramatic. Look at Declan’s post on the previous page(#189 I believe). His attitude is so lasseiz(sp?) faire that it comes off as sociopathic to me. That someone could defend manslaughter over an unwanted grope is one thing, but to be so cold and detached from it is creepy. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/204 "2004-08-17T21:43:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Shagnasty** > > I would ask you to apologize but everyone knows that self-righteous pricks don’t really understand the concept. [Tell me about it.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=270113) ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/205 "2004-08-18T00:48:06Z")
> [@x-ray vision](#): > > [Tell me about it.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=270113) Exactly! The reason that I knew that self-righteous pricks never apologize is through my own self awareness. There is nothing like presenting first-hand knowledge on the boards although most people knew that already. ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2004, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/206 "2004-08-18T13:38:27Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > I don’t think Diogenes is being melodramatic. > > That someone could defend manslaughter over an unwanted grope is one thing, but to be so cold and detached from it is creepy. I certainly don’t want to speak for **Declan** , but I think the confusion here is a basic disagreement over what the grabbing of a penis in a urinal is on the scale of\* bad things to do\*. You see it as ‘an unwanted grope’ I see it as criminal assault. A slap on the rear while clothed, maybe even a pinch, is what I think of when I think of an ‘unwanted grope’. The scenario spelled out by the OP is pretty far outside my experience, but the first thing I’m thinking if that happens to me is that this is not any sort of misguided romantic overture. It’s the prelude of things to come unless I do something to stop my attacker. If, in the course of me incapacitating him, I cause some sort of permanent damage…that’s a chance I’m willing to take. Of course, I have to wonder- what sort of reaction is the cock-grabber expecting exactly? Seems to me that there’s a better than even chance of some sort of violent response. What’s the old saying about playing with fire? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/207 "2004-08-21T10:48:55Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > So, if i understand your argument correctly, a measured response, with “limits on physical response,” is only necessary in case of making a pass on “a normal bar floor.” > > Actually, in the case of Matthew Shepard, he didn’t even make a pass at his attackers. They found out he was gay, and lured him into their truck by telling him that _they_ were gay. So, then the dick-grabbing anecdotes are NOT analagous to the Matthew Shepard case. **SolGrundy** said: > [@](#): > > Saying that gay guys as a group are all just waiting to feel up unsuspecting straight guys in bathrooms, complaining about the “panzification of America,” and cheering somebody on when they talk about bashing somebody’s head into a wall until he’s unconscious, is just a short step away from gay-bashing. Neither the OP nor Shagdaddy took their assailant off the premises, pistol-whipped him and left him to die. The “gay panic” defense in the MS case failed because MS had done nothing to make his assailants think they had to defend themselves. They approached him; he did nothing that even inadvertently provoked them. Therefore, there is no common ground between Shagdaddy/the OP and MS. People who get joy out of the idea of beating a dick-grabber unconscious **might** be doing mental gaybashing, if they’re taking for granted that the assailant **had** to be gay. But the person defending himself is **just** defending himself, **not** trying to punish a known gay man for being gay. There’s a world of difference between being approached from in front and from behind, after all. If you can’t see the person, you can’t judge them at all; only their action. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/208 "2004-08-21T11:15:37Z")
> [@Stonebow](#): > > A slap on the rear while clothed, maybe even a pinch, is what I think of when I think of an ‘unwanted grope’… It’s the prelude of things to come unless I do something to stop my attacker. _What_ things to come, a blow job? I can sympathize, I suppose. I wouldn’t want to be the one stumbling out of the restroom, grabbing onto the door jamb to steady myself as I swoon drunkenly in the foggy haze of my afterglow. “Someone stop that man!” I would scream. “He just sucked my dick!” But it’s the filing of the police report that I would most dread. Officer, I was standing at the urinal when this man reached for my thing. It was only because of my outrage that I was unable to say, “No, thanks.” It was a simple matter of logistics that I was compelled to turn toward him as he dropped to his knees. I was in fear for my life as he sucked on my erection. I threw back my head and panted for help, but no one could hear me. And the fact that he swallowed all the evidence left me without any proof of his deed. Had he grabbed my ass, that would have been different. That would have been merely an unwanted grope. Or if he had reached for my shoes, I could have chalked it up to nothing more than foot-curiosity. I am not homophobic, and if I had known that he was gay, I could have surmised that he was making a pass at me. But in all my years, I had never even _heard_ of homosexual activity in public restrooms. Yea, verily, this man hath robbed me of mine innocence. Is there no fucking justice? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/209 "2004-08-21T17:12:06Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > So, then the dick-grabbing anecdotes are NOT analagous to the Matthew Shepard case. I never believed they were. I was positing a hypothetical in a (rather vain) attempt to understand **Declan** ’s “thought” processes. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/210 "2004-08-21T19:37:58Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > I never believed they were. I was positing a hypothetical in a ( **rather vain** ) attempt to understand **Declan** ’s “thought” processes. Cute turn of phrase , but I assumed you mean **rather _in_ vain** , otherwise one might think you were narcissistic. And I doubt that you brought up that case for some sort of thought process , more like advancing an agenda to polarize the thread participants into a thought process that you wish for them to espouse. For your concideration , the tangent that got everyones blood boiling , was not that the meatseeker was gay or a college frat boy doing some sort of initation or prank, it was the measured response , or lack of it after the assualt. For you to bring in some sort of offtopic , unrelated hate crime , makes me wonder about the underlying themes of your responses. Declan ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/211 "2004-08-21T21:53:33Z")
> [@Declan](#): > > Cute turn of phrase , but I assumed you mean **rather _in_ vain** , otherwise one might think you were narcissistic. > And I doubt that you brought up that case for some sort of thought process , more like advancing an agenda to polarize the thread participants into a thought process that you wish for them to espouse. The thought process: An unwanted touch doesn’t open up the door to either beating someone near to death or to death itself. What a radical agenda. ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/212 "2004-08-21T22:35:49Z")
> [@Declan](#): > > Cute turn of phrase , but I assumed you mean **rather _in_ vain** , otherwise one might think you were narcissistic. Look up “vain” in the dictionary. Its definition is not as limited as you think. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/213 "2004-08-21T23:09:51Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > The thought process: An unwanted touch doesn’t open up the door to either beating someone near to death or to death itself. > > What a radical agenda. **MOCKINGBIRD** What an apt name Declan ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/214 "2004-08-21T23:11:46Z")
> [@Declan](#): > > Cute turn of phrase , but I assumed you mean **rather _in_ vain** , otherwise one might think you were narcissistic. As **leander** suggests, you might want to check a dictionary before you critique other people’s grammar and usage. Also, if you’re going to reduce the thread to such nitpicks: > [@Declan](#): > > For your **concideration** … That would be “consideration.” > [@Declan](#): > > …the tangent that got **everyones** blood boiling A possessive such as this requires an apostrophe; it should be “everyone’s.” > [@Declan](#): > > …was not that the meatseeker was gay or a college frat boy doing some sort of **initation** or prank You’re missing an “i” there. The word is “initiation.” > [@Declan](#): > > …it was the measured response , or lack of it after the **assualt**. That would be “assault.” > [@Declan](#): > > For you to bring in some sort of **offtopic** , unrelated hate crime , makes me wonder about the underlying themes of your responses. I wasn’t aware that “offtopic” was a word. Also, you only require a space _after_ a comma, not before. Apparently, your grammar and spelling are as bad as your debating skills. Dumbo. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032/215 "2004-08-21T23:25:29Z")
Damm mendy I have not gotten an F in English since I left highschool , brings back memories But correcting my english grammar is going to be something else that your going to find in vain. Hope your weekend is going good so far Declan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grabbing-someones-dick-while-peeing-is-a-real-turn-on/260032.md?page=10)