If you’re able to talk about grad school in the past tense, you’ve got nothing to bitch about.
Fretful Porpentine
If you want a job that has much time off, wish to emphasize teaching, very low stress and no publish or perish pressure then try teaching at a two year school.
It has many ups.
The downs are that the students you teach are of poor quality and not very motivated (a bad combination!). If you think the students you taught as a TA in grad school were like that, you will be shocked. As the years go by you start to realize that your job really isn’t doing society any good.
Think about it. It seems fits what you want very well.
I am in total agreement with the OP. Wasted way too many good years I will never get back.
Parts of graduate school I loved. I met the best people, fellow students who were so amazing and inspiring. And I loved being fully engaged with ideas and new frameworks and being forced to rethink things. I loved it passionately.
But I hated the politics, I hated the posturing, I hated the power differentials, I hated the fact that there was always more to do, I hated feeling guilty about relaxing, goofing off, or having a life. I hated that I was scared to tell my advisor about what was otherwise such a joyous event in my life (my pregnancy). All that crap SUCKED.
Cranky, if not for that bit about the pregnancy, your post could have been written by me.
Of course, grad school fry so much my brain, me no write that good no more. Not like you. You write real pretty.
Cranky, you said exactly what I feel about my grad school experience so far. But I’m not out yet!
I wouldn’t have applied to graduate school if I didn’t want to learn something new and challenge myself intellectually. I was lucky enough to get into a great school that made me excited, proud, and pissed off at all the things that make a student excited, proud, and pissed off. I got transplanted to one of the greatest cities I’ve had the privilege of living in, established a kick-ass group of friends, and have become a much better, settled person than I was before.
However, I temp five days a week, from 9-5ish to pay my bills since I’m no longer on fellowships or assistantships and am not receiving grants or loans. When I finally get home from work (it takes about 30 -40 minutes), I whip up some dinner, watch a little tube as I digest (some of it’s research, really!), and settle down to try to get a few notes or pages done on the old dissertation before it’s time for bed. It’s difficult to get anything of substance done in those three to four hours, and I honestly cannot wait until I have evenings and weekends where I don’t have to do a damn thing. I always feel guilty when I veg out, like a nagging sensation in the back of my mind that I should be doing something. I also have my parents verbalizing that nagging sensation, asking me almost every day how much work I’ve done. Some days nothing happens. Some days a lot happens, and I can crank out 4-5 good pages. I won’t consider this a waste of time even if I never ever get a job in my field. I’ll consider it a personal triumph and the fulfillment of a goal not a lot of folks get to complete. And I shall force everyone who knows me to call me Doctor for at least a week. 
Frantic Mad, that is one of the weirdest academic horror stories I’ve ever heard.
jesus, 14-16 hours a day? people in medical or dental school study about 4-6 hours a day, why the hell would a less well paying, less prestigious, less marketable degree require 3x as much effort?
Therein lies your problem. You should have chosen one of the well known “party majors” like Chemistry, Physics, or Electrical Engineering. 
Graduate school for me (which will end in May) has been wonderful. By wonderful, I don’t mean it’s been easy. I’ve worked my ass off sometimes, for some classes, I’ve stressed about money, grades, life in general. It hasn’t been a “pay your fees, get your b’s” experience. I do well, but I do well because I work. I (and my friends), still find time to have fun, because we have to, or else the stress of job hunts, comprehensive exams and upcoming graduation will be too much for all of us.
But here’s the thing: I hated what I was doing before so much, that I love being here. I’m setting out in a career that’s right for me, surrounded by people with similar career priorities - if not life priorities - and that alone is a relief.
Ph D in mediaeval history – pure, unadulterated hell. I left my first grad school after a year and transferred to a second one.
At the first one, the average length of incarceration for a history grad was…15 years :eek:
I bailed cos the political games were horrid – I found out that I had been awarded a scholarship that was actually meant for someone else, so life was made holy hell for me, hoping I would leave. That person’s advisor was my prof for one class, and the prof once told me after I earned an A from her in one class, she wrote on my file that she suspected I was cheating for that A, but since she couldn’t figure out how I was doing it, ‘had’ to give me the A.
I’ve told people the stories about that dept, and no one believes me – the prof who grilled me in front of a class about how many hours a day I spent on his class (about 2-3) – he said, ‘Why, that’s only 21 hours a week!’ This was the same guy who insisted all of his students should work 16 hours a day, 6 days a week – if you ran out of things to do, go to the library and just start reading.
I had one class where the prof’s game was to give out such impossible assignments people would bail after about 3 weeks, so he could cancel class and go back to research (for his one class, which I stuck out for about a week, I was working almost non stop on the insane assignments.)
Where I ended up…well, I did finish, and it was not a nice time. The politics and stress nearly did me in – I finished because I ended up doing my dissertation long distance. It’s funny, cos everyone who ever gave me a hard time either dropped out, flunked out, or was thrown out…hmmm…smoke cleared and I was still standing…
One girl at my first school ended up having a nervous breakdown, and I know another lady where I live now, who couldn’t finish her degree in art history because she was headed for a breakdown…
Some people say, ‘Well, it was YOUR choice to go.’ Fair enough, it was. But I’m always amazed at the differences in people’s experiences in grad school – some people do have a difficult, but rewarding time…some people have a terrible time…it’s usually at the whim of the directing professors, or what sort of internal politics/finances exist in their dept, etc.
Finances at my second school were cutthroat – people would turn on each other to try to get other people’s funding – I lost mine because of a girl who went repeatedly to the director of grad studies and insisted she deserved my pittance more than I did, and got it (she flunked out a year later; I was rescued by another prof who made me her research ass’t with independent funding.)
People could be very mean; I had to take my exams twice, and after I failed the first time, people went round saying I’d failed because I’d sat the exams drunk (I’m a complete teetotaler), people started to increase the number of times I’d failed (by the time I graduated, I found out I’d failed my exams about 3 or 4 times – I think I am some sort of ‘Flying Dutchman’ legend in that department now…), and then when I went to sit my defense, people would cheerfully inform me, ‘Well, you flunked your exams, so you’ll probably fail your defense, too, but good luck!’
Uh, passed my defense with flying colours…first time, thank you!
Gah, I could go on and on…grad school is hard enough and demanding enough without all the accompanying games…
The most useful thing I ever learnt was how to deflect such games and beheviour without turning in to one of those people myself!
Sorry this was so long…
Oh man, am I with the OP and the countless others on here. I was in a PhD program and the frist few years were hell (got my Masters) the next seven were utterly wasted, never got my PhD, but I did accumulate a lot of student loan debt Much of it is my fault, not trying to deny that, but it is still a time I look back on and wish I had made some different decisions
Another grad student here, doing my MA in anthropology at Cal. State, Northridge. I’m doing okay. It’s not easy, but neither is it brain-melting, back-breaking work. One important fact I learned was to balance my class and work load. I take only 2 classes a semester, but I do very well in them. I tried doing 3 a semester once. I was in hysterics toward the end of that semester.
There are no TA positions, since we’re a small Cal. State university, not a research facility like the Uni. of Calif. campuses are. So, I can devote my time to studying (tho I am piling up some big debt, I’ll admit). My advisor is cool, too. She’s on my side all thru this. That’s another good point, get a good advisor. I lucked out and one that’s a fantastic advisor and friend.
The worst part, so far, has been finding out that I have ADD and having to balance finding the right meds for me with doing my work thru the semester.
You know, some people just have a really easy time with school. Others just make it look easy. It’s possible that your co-worker is one of these people. I know I am, and I’ve really gotten sick of hearing people complain about how I must have a really easy major or something.
I want to strangle those people, 'cause having six papers that actually have to be VERY WELL-WRITTEN (and, believe me, English majors and the like are generally held to a much higher standard than science majors when it comes to writing, 'cause it’s part of the damned major (at least, they are at my university)) or reading 20 books inside of a month isn’t exactly what I’d call cake. No, I don’t have an exceptionally easy time of it. I just do my major more effectively than they do theirs.
Besides, even if I didn’t, and I found grad school to be hell on Earth, I doubt I’d be unloading on a co-worker about it, anyway. I’d probably just talk about the fun parts. Who wants to hear me bitch, you know?
(I apologize for my incoherence. Actifed and I really don’t get along, it seems).
I found grad school a lot more fun than undergrad. But it was also a lot more intense.
But never all that hard (Masters of Library and Information Science here). My first wife was someone for whom school at any level was always ulcer inducing and never any fun at all (but it was all she knew how to do well).
That was because she felt she had to get perfect grades in everything. I realized on early on that unless you are determined to go to the absolute best schools in the country getting 100% requires 100% effort. Getting 90% requires 50% effort. So, I just shot for 90% and it generally was more than enough for everything I wanted to do. The only thing grades matter for is the next school you go to. And the school you go to usually only matters for your first job after school.
Angel of the Lord: I am so with you.
I cannot stand it when people try to make excuses for you doing well. I have had alot of comments about how I must have an easy major or the professors like me. Yeah they like me…I bust my butt to do well! Also if I say something i am taken seriously. The reason: seeing the “I bust my butt” statement.
I remember in my old university, a woman in the President’s office remarking with contempt that it must be nice to be so smart. Yeah it is actually ( I did tell her that)
I have a 3.65 culumative GPA with a 3.8 major GPA. My new advisor at my new college almost jumped over her desk to kiss me when she saw the list of As on my transcript. And not one of those As was recieved by whining, cheating, etc. All by hard work and I am damn proud of that!
I am preparing to pursue a PhD in history. Grad school is no fun. I don’t know who’s been feeding you this borscht, but whoever they are must be doing something like the University of Phoenix, or on the 20-year plan to get a Masters.
Yes, history is not based on scientific fact, unlike math, but at the same time, there is the same level of precision, accuracy and painstaking work that must be done. In order to get an advanced degree in American history, you normally have to be able to pass an oral and/or written exam in at least one other lanugage that is related to your field of study. If you are studying non-US history you have to learn as many as 4 or 5 different languages. (In the next 2-3 years, I will be learning German, Yiddish, Ladino and Hebrew; fortunately, I have a strong Spanish background already, so that’s one language off my list).
Furthermore, you have to be so exact and precise with your writing, it is painstaking work in and of itself. The average history class requires that you write at least one or two 20-30 page papers EACH SEMESTER…PER CLASS. Full-time grad school is usually 3 classes, so you’re writing the equivalent of a small book each semester. Wherever your friends are going to school I wanna know, so that I can take the easy route to getting a PhD!!
I spent 1 1/2 years in (community) college. Dropped out, joined the army. Spent a few years bouncing around in various labor jobs.
Busted my ass learning the trade
Started my own construction company.
I used to scoff at so called college graduates. Most of them don’t have half the brainpan your average broom pusher commands.
My company is growing and I find my self in contact with more learned men/women. I call them customers. People who made their own fortunes.
Like myself, these people stuck it out and became professionals in thier chosen fields. They too paid their dues. They too had a period of schooling that cost a lot of money and hardship. In my case it was lost profits for mistakes (school of hard knocks) theirs, the university system THEN the school of hard knocks.
My point? I dont have one. I used to think acedemia was the last refuge of the lazy. My contact with the people on this board and my customers has caused me to modify my position.
Real fun is when I finally got my diploma, a relative asked, had I got all this ‘school nonsense’ out of my system and was I finally going to do some ‘real work’…gahhhhh…this was the same sympathetic soul who said, ‘Of course you do well at school; what in the hell else do you do all day?’
Someday, with therapy and strong drugs, I will be able to think back, without developing a twitch and thumping my leg, on the term when I worked part time, was a TA for 3 sections of ‘discussion’ classes, attended 3 classes of my own in addition to the undergraduate lectures for my TA stuff, and was still shouted at by supervisor for staying home one day with a high temperature and the flu for being…wait for it…lazy.
PS – and I swear this is my last anecdote – I did actually know someone at my first school who thought being a grad student was such fun. She was an older lady who was the wife of someone way up in the hierarchy at Chrystler, I think…to give you some idea, she was honestly shocked when she discovered that none of us regularly flew Concorde to Europe to have lunch with friends (this was back in the late 80s)…