# GrahamWellington vs. Left Hand of Dorkness **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 10, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623 "2005-10-10T20:25:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/21 "2005-10-10T21:45:54Z")
Oh, that was so very, very painful. **Graham** , if you saw a man on the street who was bleeding badly, but somehow didn’t seem aware of it, you’d point out that he was hurt and needed help, right? Doing so wouldn’t be insulting, it would be an act of compassion. You agree with this, right? Well, not all wounds are physical. Judging by your responses in the previous thread, you seem to have some potentially very serious mental health issues. I have no doubt you are insulted to read that, but I’m not saying it just to be mean. Your belief that there is a global Satanic conspiracy whose exsistence is hinted at in popular movies and fringe literature is simply not rational. I’ve had my own issues with mental illness, and I know how hard it is to recognize that you need help while you’re in the middle of your dysfunction, but you really, really need to get professional help. Sadly, I have no illusions that you will listen to this post. Hopefully, you have friends or family who are able and willing to get you the help that you cannot admit you need, before your deteriorating mental state impacts your physical health beyond repair. ( **Contra** , the linked to post was **TYM** clearing up the poor coding in one of **Graham** ’s earlier posts.) ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/22 "2005-10-10T21:49:23Z")
There seems to be some unwritten board rule that we need at least one belligerent village idiot at any given time: with **Kyle Rayner** banned for thinking Batman comics were Plato’s _Republic_ and spectacularly burning out in defense of this thesis, **Graham Wellington** steps manfully into the breach with his cod-shamanistic mumbo jumbo with a side helping of conspiracy theory. And a love of chicken. Well done, that man. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/23 "2005-10-10T21:49:59Z")
He’s not yet quite as bad as **lekat** , but **Graham** ’s obviously cut from the same sort of cloth. **LHoD** knocked him silly in the first round… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/24 "2005-10-10T22:01:09Z")
> [@Lucretia](#): > > Having read that whole, painful thread, it’s obvious that your method it clearly more logical, **Left Hand of Dorkness**. It’s also quite obvious that **GrahamWellington** is mentally ill. > > That being the case, I’m afraid this thread has a little bit of an air of gloating because your report card is better than the developmentally disabled kid in class. It will do nothing to change **GrahamWellington’s** mind about his “evidence”, and only encourages people to be unkind to a vulnerable person. Yeah, I’m with you and **Eureka**. I understand what **LHoD** ’s trying to do, and his intentions are good, but I fear this thread will only encourage Graham in his “everyone’s against me” beliefs. He’ll percieve this as an attack, and his paranoia will only become more entrenched. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/25 "2005-10-10T22:02:12Z")
Originally Posted by Graham "people unfamiliar with what’s happened here, i.e. me being bullied around in an atmosphere in which the mob psychology resents me for being _so on the money about everyhing_, … " I think Graham is channeling Napolean Dynamite. What a line! I swear to all that it is profane that I am going to try like the devil to incorporate that entire line into a conversation this week. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/26 "2005-10-10T22:03:24Z")
> [@Lucretia](#): > > Having read that whole, painful thread, it’s obvious that your method it clearly more logical, **Left Hand of Dorkness**. It’s also quite obvious that **GrahamWellington** is mentally ill. > > That being the case, I’m afraid this thread has a little bit of an air of gloating because your report card is better than the developmentally disabled kid in class. It will do nothing to change **GrahamWellington’s** mind about his “evidence”, and only encourages people to be unkind to a vulnerable person. You’re a better woman than I am. My eyes glazed halfway through page one. Daniel, your arguements are persuasive and intelligent, as always. **Graham Wellington** , what happened to you was hardly “bullying,” and you’re lucky to have had a disagreement with one of the more evenhanded posters on this board. Having one’s ass handed to one is not a pleasant experience. If you are going to participate in the Great Debates forum, you should be prepared to back up your assertions with citations and facts. Also, I disagree with **tomndebb** on most issues, but I have to say he’s very fair. I’ve never known him to slap someone down just for disagreeing with him, and your charactarization of his moderating as “Godlike” is laughable to say the least. The forum isn’t for everyone. Personally, I can’t stand that so many of the arguments dissolve into unending wank fests, but that’s me. You might be more comfortable in a different forum. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/27 "2005-10-10T22:20:06Z")
I read the whole thread. :rolleyes: I don’t think _this_ one is a good idea. My verdict (like others have mentioned) is that either **GrahamWellington** is quite unwell, or he is doing a superb job of yanking our chains. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/28 "2005-10-10T22:23:17Z")
**LHoD** , with no points to his opponent. **Graham** , I apologize to you now for getting somewhat hostile and mean in the original thread. I didn’t realize just how deeply disturbed you were, and I certainly don’t enjoy kicking a man when he’s down, either physically, socially or mentally. I do urge you to get professional help…you have a doozy of a delusion going on. ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/29 "2005-10-10T22:35:45Z")
If it’s a test of who’s been the most rational, then **jsgoddess** wins for avoiding the thread as if it were avian flu. The rankings of participants, from “reasonable” to “un” definitely has Mr. Wellington at the bottom. It would take effort and a blow to the head for an average person to even compete with Wellington in a contest of illogical, unpersuasive, and unfair rhetoric. He’s obviously insane. I don’t say this to “pit” the man, like saying he’s stupid or ugly. It’s an objective assessment. He’s delusional and needs treatment. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/30 "2005-10-10T22:43:22Z")
Both mangled and destroyed.\* \*If you argue with a fool you lose. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/31 "2005-10-10T22:57:48Z")
Thinking about what several folks have said to me here, I’ve reported this thread to the Mods, so that they can decide whether it’s appropriate and should remain open. **Graham** , if you’re reading this, I hope you understand that I don’t intend for this process to injure you, and I am not trying to cheat things or manipulate them by bringing the thread to the attention of the moderators. I have deep misgivings about this, which I wish I’d had before I embarked on the agreement with **Graham**. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/32 "2005-10-10T22:58:33Z")
I feel quite sorry for **GrahamWellington** , and I hope he gets help. ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/33 "2005-10-10T23:09:10Z")
Add me to those who feel this thread shouldn’t have been opened. If **GrahamWellington** were simply an ass, I’d have no problem. But I think it’s been pretty obvious for some time that **GW** needs professional help. I hope he gets it. Kudos to \*\*LHoD \*\* for asking that the thread be closed. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/34 "2005-10-10T23:22:17Z")
Well, let’s hope he keeps up his end of the bargain. **Graham** , you were losing before you even began. Please, PLEASE consider getting help. Psychiatrists are NOT out to take your money, at least, not all of them. Try around before you find one you click with. Or talk to your physician. You are not well. You don’t have to worry about a Satanist conspiracy destroying you when your own mind is already doing that for you. Please, please get help. ---
**Author:** ![GrahamWellington](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/54ee81/32.png) [@GrahamWellington](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrahamWellington)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/35 "2005-10-10T23:26:15Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Thinking about what several folks have said to me here, I’ve reported this thread to the Mods, so that they can decide whether it’s appropriate and should remain open. **Graham** , if you’re reading this, I hope you understand that I don’t intend for this process to injure you, and I am not trying to cheat things or manipulate them by bringing the thread to the attention of the moderators. > > I have deep misgivings about this, which I wish I’d had before I embarked on the agreement with **Graham**. > > Daniel Sure, close it now just because you know the tide is about to turn my way! By the way, if the Mods close it, you are then obligated to fulfilling your end of the the deal – FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/36 "2005-10-10T23:29:38Z")
> [@GrahamWellington](#): > > Sure, close it now just because you know the tide is about to turn my way! > > By the way, if the Mods close it, you are then obligated to fulfilling your end of the the deal – FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS TO THE LETTER. :eek: Um. . . . I’m not sure how to respond to this. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/37 "2005-10-10T23:32:15Z")
Actually, by my count, **Graham** , the tally would by 28-0 in favor of your needing to take up your agreement to receive three sessions of therapy. There is no conceivable way that I could end up obligated to fulfill your request at this point, by the original terms: since we agreed to evaluate the thread at 40 posts and determine who’d been supported by the majority, my obligation to you is a mathematical impossibility. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/38 "2005-10-10T23:32:30Z")
Well, he obviously disagrees with you wanting to close the thread, and further, he feels that people are going to come in here agreeing that his argument is better. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/39 "2005-10-10T23:35:03Z")
> [@GrahamWellington](#): > > Sure, close it now just because you know the tide is about to turn my way! These are the kind of statements you need to be able to support with facts. Is there anything in this thread to suggest such a turning of the tide? Has one poster agreed with you? Your feelings about whether a thing may or may not be true is insufficient to convince anyone around here. You do understand that **Lefty** is concerned that this thread could do more harm than good to you, dont you? He is an honorable man, and would not cheat his way out of a bet. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623/40 "2005-10-10T23:41:05Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Actually, by my count, **Graham** , the tally would by 28-0 in favor of your needing to take up your agreement to receive three sessions of therapy. Well, actually, it seems to be 27-1, since **wring** seems to have voted in post 9, but still, yeah, what you said rings true. At first I though **Graham** simply read a book and was persuaded that is was right, and that everyone else is wrong, since the book greed with his emotional needs. No craziness involved, just a wanting to be right. Now I am begging to change my mind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grahamwellington-vs-left-hand-of-dorkness/325623.md?page=3)