# Gramatically correct your favorite rap lyrics! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 2, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705 "2003-05-02T19:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dark\_Brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@Dark\_Brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Brown)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/61 "2003-05-06T14:59:38Z")
Stolichnaya, you’re referring to the Biz Markie Classic, You got what I need. These are more entertaining than I ever could have imagined. I’ve been meaning to sit down and transcribe a good one; I’ll get around to it, I promise. Keep it going! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/62 "2003-05-06T15:33:52Z")
I was driving down the street in my 1964-model year vehicle. This is how it happened: I took a young lady back to my house and we began to get intimate. I had quite the erection, and I think you can imagine what was on my mind. I removed her undergarments, and there was a rather offensive odor. I also removed my own undergarments, so as to facilitate the next stage of intimacy. She was quite aroused, so vaginal penetration was relatively simple. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/63 "2003-05-06T15:36:28Z")
Exactamundo, **stoli**! That’s the line. I got yours, too, but **DB** beat me to it. (thanks for starting this, BTW. I’ts a hoot.) Here’s another: _You appear to have a large penis, and I find your buttocks attractive. Do attractive buttocks run in your family, perhaps? I find you quite appealing, but I’d like confirmation that your penis is, in fact, as large as it seems. I tend to be attracted to non-conformist dark-complected men. You seem to fit the bill quite nicely. In fact, you remind me of chocolate ice cream! I have decided that I would like to have sexual intercourse with you._ ---
**Author:** ![longjohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@longjohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/longjohn)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/64 "2003-05-06T15:53:40Z")
Happy, I so know yours, but can’t quite think of it at the moment. I’m sure its Dre though. Here’s one, not too tricky I am a person of colour that will never become obsolete If you engage in intercourse with me I will place my foot in your rectum I am totally unconcerned, i will continue Hark! what are they shouting? Brigand! Scofflaw! That is what they are shouting It is not about my emolument it is all about reality ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/65 "2003-05-06T16:02:13Z")
Yours all seem to end the same, **GB**. 🙂 That’s Shoop, right? **Happy** ’s is stumping me, but I feel like I should know it. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/66 "2003-05-06T16:15:17Z")
> [@](#): > > I am a person of colour that will never become obsolete Straight Outta Compton. Sweet. Sliiiightly more obscure this time: **We are determined to entertain the whole world while it still exists to be entertained by us. We do not assault members of the fairer sex, and we are proudly self-employed. Momentarily, we will be leaving, but we will return. You can’t assault said return with a blunt object.** ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/67 "2003-05-06T17:05:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stolichnaya \* > \*\*Straight Outta Compton. Sweet. > \*\* Nope. That’s Gangsta Gangsta. **Happy** : yours is Gimme That Nut. Not Dre or Snoop but the late great Eazy. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/68 "2003-05-06T18:18:13Z")
You got mine, again, **stoli**. Here’s another, from the first rap song I ever heard: _I was lucky enough to meet a true innovator of rap music the other day. After the show, I took a road trip–all the way to Roswell, NM!_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Amok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Amok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amok)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/69 "2003-05-06T18:43:00Z")
I was an adict while I was still a child. I melted microphones instead of cones of ice cream, so music oriented that when hip-hop was created I fitted it like pieces of a puzzle, quite complicated. I used to grab the microphone and attempt to say “Yes, y’all” but they would try to take it and tell me that I was too small. That is fine, because I don’t become upset, I just kicked a hole in their speaker, and pulled the plug; then I went back to my laboratory… without a microphone of my own. I added up all the rhymes I had made, each one after the other, and then I made another to disrespect my opponent and ask the gentleman if he is finished. I have a craving, as if I desired nicotine, but I don’t need a cigarette, understand what I mean? ---
**Author:** ![Amok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Amok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amok)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/70 "2003-05-06T18:55:07Z")
**karomon** , your’s is _Watch Out Now_, by The Beatnuts. Great song. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/71 "2003-05-06T19:41:56Z")
**Cisco** > [@](#): > > That’s Gangsta Gangsta. Quite true. I have been served. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/72 "2003-05-06T20:20:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amok \* > \*\*I was an adict while I was still a child. > I melted microphones instead of cones of ice cream, > so music oriented that when hip-hop was created > I fitted it like pieces of a puzzle, quite complicated. > I used to grab the microphone and attempt to say “Yes, y’all” > but they would try to take it and tell me that I was too small. > That is fine, because I don’t become upset, > I just kicked a hole in their speaker, and pulled the plug; > then I went back to my laboratory… without a microphone of my own. > I added up all the rhymes I had made, > each one after the other, and then I made another > to disrespect my opponent and ask the gentleman if he is finished. > I have a craving, as if I desired nicotine, > but I don’t need a cigarette, understand what I mean? \*\* Rakim - Microphone Fiend ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/73 "2003-05-06T20:33:46Z")
\*(voiceover) Standardizers… we perform the standardization of any illicit acquisition of goods belonging to him… and we are quite adept at that. However, you cannot be just any Tom Dick or Harry from the locality… you must be adroit with weaponry if you catch my drift, bring home the bacon! STANDARDIZEERRRRRRS! BESTRIDE YOUR STEED! (end voiceover) The sky this eve was unblemished ebony, the moon a clarion ivory (name deleted) was out on the town, endeavoring the appropriation of some ladies’ petticoats for the night in question, so that I might enjoy some foul-smelling delight. Just operating my motor car, coolly resting at leisure by myself.\* ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/74 "2003-05-06T20:48:37Z")
Regulators ---
**Author:** ![G-Unit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@G-Unit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G-Unit)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/75 "2003-05-06T20:50:42Z")
Jimmy, thats Regulators by Warren G ---
**Author:** ![karomon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@karomon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/karomon)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/76 "2003-05-07T02:36:13Z")
\*\* Amok\*\*, you’ve made my day! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/77 "2003-05-07T05:39:23Z")
Ok, here’s my half-assed attempt (finally): _Hello, how are you beautiful young lady of hispanic descent? You have stricken me into a position which inhibits my vocal capabilities You are the same young lady who acheives a perfect 10 on the beauty scale that I encountered seven days ago When dancing, the skill you exhibit will oblige a group of young criminals to perform an old ridiculous dance Your stunning looks are enhanced by your pink attire Approach me, so that I may purchase an alcoholic beverage for you Amaretta Sours shall bring us into synchronization with one another_ ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/78 "2003-05-09T01:31:51Z")
No one’s even going to take a guess? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![karomon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@karomon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/karomon)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/79 "2003-05-09T03:43:24Z")
I’m _sure_ I’ve heard this song. I thought it might be a Jay-Z song, but I guess not. For the life of me, I can’t remember. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705/80 "2003-05-09T03:47:02Z")
Well, you’ve got the right coast, and the style of the song sounds not completely unlike something Jay-Z would do, but alas, it’s not Jay-Z. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gramatically-correct-your-favorite-rap-lyrics/172705.md?page=5)