# Grammar of the word "friends" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 7, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grammar-of-the-word-friends/211976 "2003-11-07T21:58:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skwerl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Skwerl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skwerl)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grammar-of-the-word-friends/211976/1 "2003-11-07T21:58:22Z")
I tend to consider myself fairly adept with the English language, but there’s one thing I’m having a problem with. Let’s say you have two people, A and B. A likes B, and is very kind to him all the time etc. B doesn’t give a rat’s petoot about A, and A knows it. Does A say “I am B’s friend” or “B is my friend”? “I am B’s friend” to me makes it sound like B has some say in the matter, even though B has been calling A “C” since he met him, he doesn’t even care about A’s name. If A says “B is my friend,” because A treats B that way, it still sounds like B is partial to A. Is there a way to resolve this with the word “friend,” or would A have to resort to some other phrase? Basically, a uni-directional friendship or some such, but I’m wondering how it would be used like I’m talking about, if it’s even possible. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grammar-of-the-word-friends/211976/2 "2003-11-07T22:19:41Z")
If A knows how B feels and acts towards him, why does he bother worrying about this? Instead, why doesn’t he find a real friend? To answer the question directly, A can call him whatever he wants, friend or otherwise, however he sees the arrangement. For me personally, I wouldn’t call such a person a friend. ---
**Author:** ![sleeping](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@sleeping](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeping)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grammar-of-the-word-friends/211976/3 "2003-11-07T22:23:29Z")
It’s a sadomasochistic relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grammar-of-the-word-friends/211976/4 "2003-11-07T22:23:38Z")
> [@](#): > > …a uni-directional friendship… Well here’s your problem. Such a thing does not exist. Use a different word. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grammar-of-the-word-friends/211976/5 "2003-11-08T02:06:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skwerl \* > … **A likes B, and is very kind to him all the time etc. B doesn’t give a rat’s petoot about A, and A knows it. Does A say “I am B’s friend” or “B is my friend”?** > [@](#): > > friend > > 1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. > 2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance. > 3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade. > 4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement. > 5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker. > > Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition (via [http://dictionary.com](http://dictionary.com)). So that would be one vote _for_ “B is A’s friend.” Or would that be one vote _against_ “A is B’s friend”?