# Grampa REALLY wanted that catheter out (guys, cross your legs before you read) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 14, 2002, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982 "2002-05-14T06:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dagny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9f8e36/32.png) [@Dagny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dagny)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/21 "2002-05-14T20:10:02Z")
Sweet Jesus. I think I would have smacked grampa upside the head. ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/22 "2002-05-14T20:43:03Z")
Good Lord. I am thinking of Schwarzenegger (sp?) in “Total Recall” pulling the homing beacon out of his nose here. I think I’ll go lie down now. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/23 "2002-05-14T22:18:21Z")
“D’ya’member that time gramps wrecked his eurethra and people talked about it on the internet for _days??_” That’s one for the family album. I’m so sorry to hear about that. I ought not to have looked. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/24 "2002-05-14T22:37:23Z")
Why is it called a “foley catheter”? Does it make interesting sound effects? ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/25 "2002-05-14T22:49:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by heresiarch \* > \*\*Why is it called a “foley catheter”? Does it make interesting sound effects? \*\* It does when you yank it out inflated… ---
**Author:** ![Raini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@Raini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raini)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/26 "2002-05-14T22:57:54Z")
I’m a nurse…and we were just talking about this on shift last night. We have a gentleman who likes to remove his foley on his own… Now…im not sure…but you’d think after doing it once…you’d never want to do it again! Stupid man! As for your grandpa…the foley’s come in different sizes, with different sized balloons…10cc, 15cc, 30cc… For those of you not so medically inclined, if it were a 30cc foley, this would mean that the balloon holds 30mls of water…im hoping gramps had in a 10cc! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/27 "2002-05-14T23:37:01Z")
_(Muffin prays that when the time comes, he is euthanised rather than catheterised.)_ ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/28 "2002-05-14T23:50:14Z")
Okay, so I’m in the hospital. This is years ago, when part of my lung had to be removed after repeated bouts with perforated and collapsed lung, culminating in tension pneumothorax. Long story. The point is this: I wake up in the ICU after an ambulance ride and several hours of emergency surgery. I feel something cold against my leg. I reach down and explore with my fingers. Hmmm. Rubber tube. Goes down farther than I can reach. Goes up to my… Oh my. I’d never been cathetered, and for some reason this causes me extreme consternation. Remember, too, that I’m in the ICU, doped out of my mind on morphine and its siblings; I even have one of those remote-control morphine button things. To make a long story short, after tugging on the tube and discovering it didn’t want to come out, I wind up bending my leg and wrapping the tube around my big toe. Deep breath, then straighten my leg– _ **OW OW OW OW OW OW** _ I didn’t manage to yank it out, but the nurse heard my yelps and came running. She figures out what I’m trying to do instantly, yells at me, and fiddles around down there to make sure I haven’t damaged myself or anything. I focused mostly on the morphine button for the next hour or two. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2002, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/29 "2002-05-15T00:03:11Z")
I usually inform the poor guy that there is a bulb inflated on the inside and if he pulls it out before the water is removed, his penis will hurt really really bad and may have blood coming from it. My statistics show that less than .5% of the men I have told this have thought that bloody penis is a good thing. BTW–don’t panic if you find yourself with one due to medical treatment. Once deflated the tubes slips out easy as pie. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2002, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/30 "2002-05-15T02:21:47Z")
So, **chique**. Correct me if I’m wrong, but here’s how I imagine the scene. _Grampa enters the bathroom. He looks at the catheter._ **Grampa** : I reckon I can pull that out. _Grampa tugs on the catheter. The inflated bulb bumps against the exit of the bladder._ **Grampa** : This is gonna take some work. _Grampa goes out to the kitchen and obtains a bottle of whiskey and a wooden spoon._ **Grampa** : Okay, I can do this. _Grampa takes a shot of whiskey and loops the catheter tube around the doorknob._ **Grampa** : I can do this. _Grampa takes another shot of whiskey and bites down on the wooden spoon._ **Grampa** : I cah oo his. _Grampa kicks the door closed._ **Grampa** : EEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH _chique begins to clean the bathroom._ **chique** : Eeew, grampa penis blood. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2002, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/31 "2002-05-15T02:29:36Z")
Damn you, **lno**. Grampa’s don’t _have_ penises, didn’t you know that? All grandmothers conceive through immaculate conception! Then again, you’ve met him. _I_ can see that scene, too 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Grelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a5b964/32.png) [@Grelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grelby)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/32 "2002-05-15T02:30:25Z")
Having been on a catheter… YOWWWCH! My goodness. I can’t even imagine. One of my nurses (one of the cute ones :o) told me that some men have been known to do this. All I could do was wince. The pressure the damn thing exerts anyway was enough to have me convinced beforehand that trying to pull it out myself would be a Bad Idea. No matter how annoying those air bubbles occasionally going up the tube were :eek:. ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2002, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/33 "2002-05-15T03:31:33Z")
My husband is allergic to nylon. It makes his skin turn red and burn on contact. Extended contact causes swelling and pustules much like poison ivy. This allergy is posted prominently on his medical records and on his chart when he is in the hospital. Still a moronic, snide, smug, arrogant, bitch of a nurse inserted a nylon catheter anyway. He warned her about the allergy and that it felt like nylon. She said that the burning discomfort upon insertion was normal. She left the room and he hunted through the trash can for the package that clearly indicated the catheter was nylon. It took 10 minutes of him hitting the call button constantly for her to come in to find that his penis was red and swollen. He told her that she would remove it immediately or he would find someone who would. She did. The burning lasted days. Urination was so painful that he was refusing to go and on the third day they inserted another non-nylon catheter. Imagine poison ivy inside your cock. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2002, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/34 "2002-05-15T20:48:13Z")
**lee** : :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: ::hits floor:: ---
**Author:** ![PurpleNurple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d07c76/32.png) [@PurpleNurple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleNurple)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/35 "2002-05-15T21:07:13Z")
Now let us all imagine what passing a stone must feel like…definitely has to be worse. I hope with all my being that I never haveto go throw a jagged piece of calcium passing through my urinary track and through my willy to pop out the end (I really would hope to pass out during this occurance or be very incapacitated in some kind of way. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/36 "2002-05-16T01:02:15Z")
All these years I thought that seniors complaining about the younger generation not having intestinal fortitude was just a bunch of bunk. Looks like I was wrong. Chique’s Grandpa has every right to consider younger folks to be complete wimps. ---
**Author:** ![Atreyu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Atreyu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atreyu)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/37 "2002-05-16T01:09:23Z")
:eek: :eek: :eek: [_Atreyu hyperventilates for a moment_] It took me a whole day to work up the nerve to read this thread. It took me two seconds to regret it. My sympathies to your grandpa. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/38 "2002-05-16T01:40:24Z")
He must REALLY have wanted that out! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/39 "2002-05-16T03:22:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by PurpleNurple \* > **Now let us all imagine what passing a stone must feel like…definitely has to be worse.** Unfortunately, it’s not. Your ureters are smaller that your urethra. Passing a stone, once it has reached the bladder, is a walk in the park compared to the journey from your kidney to the bladder. Now, if nobody complains, I think I’ll faint from reading **lee’s** post. PS- (Prior to unconciousness) There’s no way the hospital could carry enough malpractice insurance to cover what I’d sue for. Jesus Erythemic Christ! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2002, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982/40 "2002-05-16T11:50:21Z")
Thanks, **lno** , I am simultaneously throwing up and laughing my guts out now. What a mess. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grampa-really-wanted-that-catheter-out-guys-cross-your-legs-before-you-read/108982.md?page=3)