# Grandparents **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 3, 2011, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701 "2011-07-03T09:22:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/21 "2011-07-04T18:02:26Z")
> [@Sateryn76](#): > > I think that’s one of the worst aspects of waiting to have children. Grandparents fill a specific and special role for both the grandchild and the grandparent. I sure hope all that financial security is worth the tradeoff. > > I mean, you could drive a Ford and give your parents and your children the benefit of that special relationship, or wait and get that Lexus, but have your parents miss a meaningful ability to participate in a full relationship and have your children know your parents as doddering old fools. Even 70 year olds in great health have physical limits, and most 70 year olds are not in that great of shape. I have mixed feelings about the first part. I think what a grandparent is both special yet in MY opinion undefineable. However, I’ve know many people (in many ages) who used a grandparent to fill their role as a parent because for many reasons they were unable to parent. In most of the cases I know of personally, money was always at the root of it. Yes, you’re right. There’s difference between not being able to support a child and not being able to have a child and every item (luxury or not) you WANT. Yeah, this is why I feel Dopers are fibbing a bit here. I know a few people in the 65-90 pool. Which I’m deeming as senior citizen. Honestly, I don’t know any of them who are are better shape than any one in their 50s (or younger) who isn’t terminally ill. No offense, I’d think spending some time with a 50 something year old is probably more quality than spending the whole day with this 100 year old person that appears to be in every (but mine 😕) Doper’s family. Before anyone whines at me, I do think 90 years and older can be with it and be in ok shape, but seriously you have to be one worn out person if a 90 year old is in better shape than you. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/22 "2011-07-04T18:04:58Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > According to [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centenarian), there are over 70,000 centenarians in the US. Also in the US, the average person has two children. Which means those centenarians can have a lot of descendents. > > It would be more far-fetched if nobody claimed to have a 100+ year old relative. :eek: I didn’t know there were that many. I thought the majority would be in Asia. ---
**Author:** ![Sateryn76](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Sateryn76](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sateryn76)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/23 "2011-07-04T18:12:19Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#): > > I have mixed feelings about the first part. I think what a grandparent is both special yet in MY opinion undefineable. However, I’ve know many people (in many ages) who used a grandparent to fill their role as a parent because for many reasons they were unable to parent. In most of the cases I know of personally, money was always at the root of it. Yes, you’re right. There’s difference between not being able to support a child and not being able to have a child and every item (luxury or not) you WANT. > > Yeah, this is why I feel Dopers are fibbing a bit here. I know a few people in the 65-90 pool. Which I’m deeming as senior citizen. Honestly, I don’t know any of them who are are better shape than any one in their 50s (or younger) who isn’t terminally ill. > > No offense, I’d think spending some time with a 50 something year old is probably more quality than spending the whole day with this 100 year old person that appears to be in every (but mine 😕) Doper’s family. > > Before anyone whines at me, I do think 90 years and older can be with it and be in ok shape, but seriously you have to be one worn out person if a 90 year old is in better shape than you. :eek: Dopers seem, on average, to be a little smarter than the norm, which is also an indicator of long lifespans. That may account for a bit of a skewed sample. FWIW, my great-grandmother died just short of her 101st birthday. But she was basically a pod person for her last 5 years, and very limited for her last 10-15 years. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/24 "2011-07-05T03:45:10Z")
My uncle just turned 91 and is still going strong. He was still traveling during the past year and shows every sign he could reach 100 in good health. (His kid brother, my father, died at age 69, so you just never know.) ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/25 "2011-07-05T03:46:34Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > According to [Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centenarian), there are over 70,000 centenarians in the US. Also in the US, the average person has two children. Which means those centenarians can have a lot of descendents. > > It would be more far-fetched if nobody claimed to have a 100+ year old relative. For what it’s worth, the more I think about it, the less I support my original post. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/26 "2011-07-05T16:52:40Z")
My great-aunt lived to 100, and I had a great-uncle who died less than two months before that milestone. There used to be a radio (or possibly TV) personality who’d read off the names of people celebrating their 100th birthday on his show. My great-aunt turned 100 in 1993, but even by then the radio guy had stopped doing that because too many people were turning 100. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/27 "2011-07-05T17:22:55Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > There used to be a radio (or possibly TV) personality who’d read off the names of people celebrating their 100th birthday on his show. My great-aunt turned 100 in 1993, but even by then the radio guy had stopped doing that because too many people were turning 100. Willard Scott of The Today Show. According to [Wikpedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willard_Scott), he still does it to this day. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/28 "2011-07-05T22:21:20Z")
I was born into an older family. I never knew my great-grandparents, they all died before I was born. I don’t remember my paternal grandfather, he died when I was 4. The one who held out the longest was my maternal grandfather, who passed away when I was 18. Tangent: I’m the youngest cousin. All my cousins had their own young families at the time and didn’t visit much. I was the last one he remembered before he lost his memory. My dad is 70, my mom is 63. My brother just had the first grandbaby. If we’re lucky, she’ll make it to her teen years before one of my parents passes away (Mom has medical issues). My cousins tell stories about spending the summers on our grandparents’ farm, biking, playing baseball, picking weeds in the garden. I spent my summers in our grandparents’ small apartment in the old folks complex, running around the air-conditioned hallway. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/29 "2011-07-06T00:39:18Z")
> [@Indistinguishable](#): > > For what it’s worth, the more I think about it, the less I support my original post. I already provided private proof on request to **YaraMateo** that my great-great grandfather was one of the last surviving Civil War veterans but not close to the very last. He died at 100. There were still a few dozen left in 1949. People lived to be over 100 in the past as well. I don’t think most people appreciate what 70,000+ centenarians still alive in the U.S. means overall. That is the size of a small city filled with nobody but people over 100. Each of those people would have about 50 living descendants on average (back of an envelope calculation there) for a total of of over 3.5 million people in the U.S. that have one of them as a grandparent or about 1% of all people and that number is increasing rapidly. The chance of having one in the extended family is much great greater than that. I have an obituary of a woman over 100 from my home town that died with over 100 living descendants comprising a significant percentage of the population of my town (insert your jokes here). ---
**Author:** ![rekkah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee59a6/32.png) [@rekkah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rekkah)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/30 "2011-07-06T02:08:20Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > On the other hand, retired grandparents are a lot more available to help with babysitting and such: if someone becomes a grandmother at 50, they will likely be working until the grandchildren are in high school. I take your point - I think there’s a relatively narrow window. As I am product of two generations of mid-thirties reproduction, my Granny was 77 when I was born, in her eighties most of my childhood. She came to stay reasonably often, several times after breaking her wrist/hip/having hip replacements, we spent a lot of great time playing cards together and she helped teach me to knit, but I don’t think my mother would have ever left me or my brother with her alone. She was extremely with it mentally and good for her age physically, but if she’d fallen and broken something it would have been a disaster. ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/31 "2011-07-06T03:34:12Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I already provided private proof on request to **YaraMateo** that my great-great grandfather was one of the last surviving Civil War veterans but not close to the very last. He died at 100. There were still a few dozen left in 1949. People lived to be over 100 in the past as well. I don’t think most people appreciate what 70,000+ centenarians still alive in the U.S. means overall. That is the size of a small city filled with nobody but people over 100. Each of those people would have about 50 living descendants on average (back of an envelope calculation there) for a total of of over 3.5 million people in the U.S. that have one of them as a grandparent or about 1% of all people and that number is increasing rapidly. The chance of having one in the extended family is much great greater than that. I have an obituary of a woman over 100 from my home town that died with over 100 living descendants comprising a significant percentage of the population of my town (insert your jokes here). I just wanted to point out that you scolded me for not understanding statistics, but you want us to believe almost everyone is related to 1% of the population? :dubious: While I do believe you, you never really gave me any proof that you were related to the guy in the article. I could find an article with an old man in another magazine and make the same claim you did. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/32 "2011-07-06T03:40:28Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#): > > I just wanted to point out that you scolded me for not understanding statistics, but you want us to believe almost everyone is related to 1% of the population? :dubious: > > While I do believe you, you never really gave me any proof that you were related to the guy in the article. I could find an article with an old man in another magazine and make the same claim you did. I never said said that everyone is related to related to 1% of the population although that is true for some definitions of “related”. Thanks for taking things on faith regarding the evidence request. I gave you the most direct documentation but I have lots more of it if need to trace it back from my current location to before the Civil War. I will send it all to you for late night reading if you want. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/33 "2011-07-06T04:11:20Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![YaraMateo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/58f4c7/32.png) [@YaraMateo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaraMateo)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/34 "2011-07-06T04:22:03Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I never said said that everyone is related to related to 1% of the population although that is true for some definitions of “related”. Thanks for taking things on faith regarding the evidence request. I gave you the most direct documentation but I have lots more of it if need to trace it back from my current location to before the Civil War. I will send it all to you for late night reading if you want. I don’t understand how the magazine is proof of anything. I believe you because no offense you have really big issue if you’re making this up. There’s nothing to gain from it and no one really cares whether or not your related to a Civil War vet. I’m sure that’s something you’re not alone in because I noticed a lot of Dopers come from long military families. It’s probably not impressive to the nonAmerican Dopers. Just as I’m sure MANY Americans are related to Civil War vets. Since you like statistics so much. I just don’t understand how the magazine proves you’re related to him. I could take any magazine and say this say this guy is my (insert relative). I’m not saying you are, but what is the proof that you aren’t? I don’t even know your last name. Honestly, since this is so important to you, I’m going just accept it. ---
**Author:** ![CatherineZeta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@CatherineZeta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatherineZeta)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/35 "2011-07-06T07:04:01Z")
Just popping in to mention that my great-grandmother died a few months short of 101. She literally never got sick in her entire life except for a nose bleed…quite odd. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/36 "2011-07-06T11:42:15Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#): > > I just wanted to point out that you scolded me for not understanding statistics, but you want us to believe almost everyone is related to 1% of the population? :dubious: Holy shit. Look at the numbers. Put those 70,000+ centenarians and their 3.5 million relatives in a city and call it…Los Angeles (I’m a little off, since LA has a population of 3.7 million people). You’re confused by the fact that someone from Los Angeles is posting to this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/37 "2011-07-06T12:12:14Z")
My paternal grandfather died at age 102 and was relatively healthy and active until only a few years prior. He went bicycle riding with the grandkids, on his old one-speed bike, well into his 80s and lived alone in the old family farmhouse into his late 90s. He and Grandma started having kids in their early 20s, but my dad was born in their mid-40s. (Coincidentally, my husband’s parents also started having kids relatively young but had him in their early 40s.) So even starting early isn’t a guarantee that you won’t be an older grandparent down the road. On the other hand, my paternal grandmother died over 20 years earlier than her husband - but that was still age 80 - and my dad died when I was in college. So you never know. At extremely advanced age, it starts being statistically more questionable about whether you’ll be alive or healthy when potential grandkids might come along. Then again, you might not live to see your own kids graduate even if you have kids at a relatively young age. There is a lot you don’t have control over. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/38 "2011-07-06T12:26:05Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#): > > …This is was just hypothecial situation. I’m more curious about what affects not having grandparents (or the majority of familes not having them) would have on children and society as awhole. Do you have any real statistics about the decline of grandparenting? In the USA? Elsewhere? I never knew either of my grandfathers because they died fairly young. One of my grandmothers helped raise me but I only met the other one a few times–because her son, my father, died young & we were raised in a different part of the country. We made a couple of visits to my father’s family but none of them ever set foot in Texas. Looking back in my family history, there were plenty of people who died early, leaving young children & grandchildren; not everybody in the world has always grown up in the midst of a huge extended family. (Immigration & moving within the USA also separate families–& always have.) That is, if you want to return to the subject of your OP. Instead of going on about how other Dopers have been lying… ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/39 "2011-07-06T12:35:53Z")
Whilst parents are getting older, grandparents are also surviving longer and are frequently fitter than their predecessors, so it may well balance out. When I was born to older (early 40s) parents back in 1970, I only had one surviving grandparent as the other three had all died in their sixties from illnesses that they would most probably have survived nowadays. In contrast, my now 84 year old parents are still fighting fit, with seven grandchildren and four great grandchildren (yes, I became a great aunt at the horrifying age of 37. Hey, at least my brother, sister and their kids are bucking the trend of older parents). The only grandparent I knew was a miserable old lady who came to visit once a year and didn’t much like children, despite (or because of) having had six of her own. So I don’t really know what it’s like to have grandparents in your life. Hasn’t affected me one bit. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701/40 "2011-07-06T20:59:47Z")
> [@YaraMateo](#): > > Seriously, The Dope is either filled with liars or people who tapped into the elixiar of life. You’re not the first person on here to claim you have a relative who’s made it past the century mark. To my knowledge the number of people who made it past 100 is pretty rare. > > I’m not calling you a liar, but I seriously do think some Dopers are fibbing a bit about how old their kinfolk is. No, it just sounds like you’re calling most people here liars. While it is impossible to guarantee the 100% veracity of all things posted by people on message boards, it is unacceptable to brand other posters as liars generally. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grandparents/587701.md?page=3)