# Grass

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grass/22934>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [June 20, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grass/22934 "2000-06-20T03:26:58Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![speakeasy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@speakeasy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/speakeasy)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grass/22934/1 "2000-06-20T03:26:58Z")

</div>

Who decided my yard should be filled with the shit? Why would I pick such a disgusting little weed for my yard anyway? Give me a nice bed of fresh clover any day.

The fucking lawn will grow right through the stinkin asphalt drive way. So why the hell can’t I get it to push through that patch of hard pan by the door? I water, I aerate, I practically knit it a goddam sweater, and every summer there’s that same bald spot.

I think the lawn duked it out with the pine tree, and the lawn lost. Brain wave, why not plant something that naturally grows under pine trees? If this place wasn’t a rental I’d fire up the tiller next weekend.

Pardon me, gotta go move the sprinkler and dance widdershins, or was that counter-widdershins…

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grass/22934/2 "2000-06-20T03:30:17Z")

</div>

As for me, I’d love to have a lawn, but my dumbshit dad doesn’t know how to take care of one. Oh well.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grass/22934/3 "2000-06-20T03:40:26Z")

</div>

6.5

starts well, good middle section, nice finish, but the pine tree bit needs work, also overall “heat” needs pumping up, I think. Hard to get good flame mojo working over a rental property lawn.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![speakeasy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@speakeasy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/speakeasy)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grass/22934/4 "2000-06-20T14:40:28Z")

</div>

But hey, if that’s all I’ve got to be cranky about right now, I’m doing OK.

Geez, I was looking for somebody to jump in and rant about the megatons of fertilizer, weed killer, and assorted chemicals that get dumped on lawns each year. Which then run off into a nearby stream due to massive over watering. None of which would be necessary if native plants were chosen.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\
**Post date:** [June 20, 2000, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/grass/22934/5 "2000-06-20T17:03:27Z")

</div>

I’ve always wanted to have corn grow in my yard. I would never have to mow it, and I could get food from it.