# Gratuitous Pit behavior **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 26, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950 "2000-07-26T19:32:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/1 "2000-07-26T19:32:25Z")
Okay. I think a lot of people here know I’m no stranger to the Pit, either in earnest or in jest. I am not posting this under the misguided illusion that I am somehow the patron saint of this particular forum. This is simply a rant about something that is really annoying the shit out of me. Two things, actually. 1)_Felch_. Let it die, kids. I’ll admit it, I was right in there with you when this first hit the MB. We should all thank (or deplore, depending on how you see it) the powers that granted us the knowledge of this unholiest of unholy acts, and we’ll all save a special place in our hearts for Coldfire, bless his soul. This most beloved of verbs (or gerund or adjective, however it’s being used) has given us more than our fair share of chuckles, innuendo, and zany product ideas. But this particular bit of vernacular has run its course. Like an old dog who knows it’s going to die, why don’t we just let this one find a nice, peaceful spot in the woods and pass to its reward. Let’s not drag this out past its time, like _In Living Color_ or the _Police Academy_ movies. In other words, cut it the fuck loose. 2)_“And since this is the Pit, let me just add…”_. See, this is just missing the point. If you don’t really have anything to bitch about, if you’re not going at it like two boars fighting over an ear of corn, if you were able to state your mind without using any swear words, _it is not required to swear or flame in the Pit!_ We all know this is where people come to bitch, moan, cry, freak out, accuse and belittle each other. We don’t need some lame ass little comment at the end of your post to remind us. In fact, it makes it seem as though you feel some kind of burden when you post here. “Oh, now I must add some clever little remark here. How dreadfully plebian. Ho-hum.” We can deal with people not swearing. We can deal with people posting **gasp** non-flame posts in the Pit. We’re all grown-ups. Really. We promise. We won’t yell at you for not putting a little parting shot in there. Now I’m sure someone’s going to jump in here and say something about the “Ass Slammer” thread. “Oh, real nice, Flyp, you hypocrite. Look at all the fake flames you had in that! You dick!” “Yeah, fuck you, Flyp! Don’t tell me how to post!” Yeah, well, Sparky, listen up. The difference between what Drain, Omni, Chef, Demo and I (as well as the others who posted there) did in that thread and what I’m bitching about is this; all of the posts in that thread were supposed to be slams against each other taken in jest. And that was the entire point of _each and every_ post. There weren’t any posts where someone made a non-flame statement and then followed it up with some fucking twee little comment involving explicit sexual acts, farmyard denizens and your father’s Oldsmobile. Honestly, this practice detracts from some otherwise good posts. Oh, and for all the people who will post after me with anything along the lines of “And since this is the Pit, go felch yourself/go felch a dead goat/go felch your father’s Oldsmobile, Flyp!” I kneel in awe of your comic genius. You rock. Really. You’re cool. I’m busting a gut. Tears. Rolling down face. Honest Injun. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/2 "2000-07-26T19:58:34Z")
Oh thank God you said this. I agree totally. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/3 "2000-07-26T20:00:12Z")
Flyp: “And since this is the pit…” sometimes gets to me also. Well said. ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/4 "2000-07-26T20:04:56Z")
Right on, brother **Flypsyde**! A hearty amen to that. I think I’ve made clear my position on excessive felching. ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/5 "2000-07-26T20:09:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Flypsyde \* > **I am not posting this under the misguided illusion that I am somehow the patron saint of this particular forum** Well I **am** the patron saint of this forum (Lynn is more like Shiva, Executioner and Destroyer of worlds) all I have to say is _Amen_. I think “squick” is already dead too. I mean, come on, do we really need a name for every obscure sexual act? We could just start making them up… **floink** : To spank your partner with a severed monkey hand. **glaphang** : To have sex with a gourd while watching _Banacek_. **jerp** : To shove a pencil up your partner’s ass and then write a letter to your grandma with it. **blang** : To tie your penis to a post while your partner uses it as a slingshot to shoot peanut shells at lesbians. I look forward to seeing these verbs be overused in the next few weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/6 "2000-07-26T20:10:05Z")
I’m glad to see this rant, especially because I thought it was going to be about posting shit on threads that have nothing to do with said threads. That is, stumbling across a perfectly good argument, and then contributing to it with nothing more than a retarded Hamburger Helper crack (my favorite pastime). I was afraid I was breaking unspoken Pit Rules. On the other hand, after lurking for a month, I had a pretty good grasp of what the Pit was all about, so I was pretty sure I could get away with it. I can feel the tension in the air though. Sooner or later, someone’s going to call me on that little personal in-joke. Then what do I do? I do feel a bit of satisfaction for not having stooped to your above mentioned gratuitous behavior. I’ve not used “And since this is the Pit …” or “Felching” once, except as a reference. And my only cussing has come forth through my natural way of speaking. Lead on, McDuff . . . ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/7 "2000-07-26T20:13:38Z")
Thank you, Alphagene. That may very well be the first time I’ve ever actually laughed aloud at anything I’ve read in the pit. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/8 "2000-07-26T20:30:47Z")
Hey I like overusing words. Go blang your mother Alphagene. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![horowitz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@horowitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horowitz)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/9 "2000-07-26T20:37:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Cynical \* > \*\*Thank you, Alphagene. That may very well be the first time I’ve ever actually laughed aloud at anything I’ve read in the pit. \*\* That shit cracked me up too. Now I think I’m gonna jerp off a couple of postcards to the gang down at the bowling alley. ---
**Author:** ![greatsatan666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e480ec/32.png) [@greatsatan666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greatsatan666)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/10 "2000-07-26T20:38:46Z")
Wow. And I the novice thought “felch” and “squick” were just euphemisms for “fuck.” Boy was I wrong! Sooooooo very wrong. I could have lived my whole life happily, never knowing what these words meant. **Flypsyde** , curse you for removing the wool from my eyes. felch:[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20039](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=20039) squick:[http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30530](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=30530) ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/11 "2000-07-26T20:56:18Z")
In all seriousness. I do agree with the OP. Ifeel you are on the tail end of it though. People are already startign to reform their behavior. I’ve noticed more well thought out relatively profanity free flames recently. ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/12 "2000-07-26T20:58:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alphagene \* > \*\* > **blang** : To tie your penis to a post while your partner uses it as a slingshot to shoot peanut shells at lesbians. > \*\* Didn’t Cheech and Chong do a skit about this in _Still Smoking_? Only they used it as a jumprope didn’t they? ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/13 "2000-07-26T21:02:03Z")
Is glaphang pronounced glap-hang or glafang? ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/14 "2000-07-26T21:04:32Z")
I’m relatively new hear too. I agree wholeheartedly to the O.P… I just didn’t have the balls to jump right in and comment on it. One further note I’ve never seen addressed hear is the habit of posting a numeric rating to the rant. No comment, no insight, just a ‘8.9!!’. Is that something new or a part of the pit I just find boring. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/15 "2000-07-26T22:47:22Z")
FF glad you brought it up… I had mentioned to Tiggeril last week people were starting to use Felch much like a 6 year old uses any new word they learn. I look forward for people to find more creative words in bitching, griping, and or whining. Osip ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/16 "2000-07-26T23:10:44Z")
Oh, man, **Alphagene** , you goat-floinker, I just had to think _really_ fast to explain to my coworkers why I was laughing so hard. Luckily, I still had the Super Postal Workers page up. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2000, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/17 "2000-07-27T00:20:43Z")
How long till the “Compleat List of Obscure Fexual Acts” thread is started? Please note: the spelling is intentional. ---
**Author:** ![ren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@ren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ren)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2000, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/18 "2000-07-27T00:31:41Z")
> [@](#): > > Go blang your mother Alphagene. Alphagene’s mother is a lesbian?!? ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/19 "2000-07-27T00:35:35Z")
Mr. C, you can denote that the spelling is intentional by putting (sic) after the word. You dumbass. Alphagene, everyone knows you are the patron saint of the Pit, and with good reason. That was without a doubt the funniest shit I have ever read on this board, ever. I am at work, and on the phone with some guy. I read your post, and barely hit “mute” as I fell out of my chair and laughed till I had tears streaming down my face, a hoarse voice, and people looking at me like I was suffering the effects of some Joker laughing gas. Thanks. I needed to go home and change my shorts anyway. You bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2000, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950/20 "2000-07-27T00:38:57Z")
Since the very first time I saw someone use “And since this is the pit…” I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever seen. I think I used it once and that was just to fuck with another poster who’d made comment on it. As for the felching thing, yeah it’s old. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gratuitous-pit-behavior/26950.md?page=2)