# Gravitists vs Downists **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [October 5, 2000, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758 "2000-10-05T12:59:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/41 "2000-10-06T03:56:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by John Corrado \* > Then how do you explain ancient maps, which clearly show the earth as being “not-quite-round”? We didn’t have satellites in Magellan’s time, but maps of the 16th and 17th century show a slight pull. Yeah, but **you** didn’t live back then, did you? How can you say **they** didn’t have satellites? How do you explain the Piri Reis map, anyway? As a Lateralist, I’m personally of the opinion that everything moves sideways in one direction or another. These meaningless concepts such as “up” and “down” are simply fanciful constructs with no real meaning; promulgated throughout society to rationalise discriminatory gestalts. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/42 "2000-10-06T04:07:28Z")
Yeah but can you explain the constancy of **g** over time? Rocks from the Oolagalagoong Desert in North Central Australia definitely bear marks of **g** fluctuating, by X-ray headcheesemography. Saying that **g** fluctuates from 9.8 m/s/s over time means that you have to call into question the existance of gravity through history. So, we can conclude that these rocks, while looking like they are depending on gravity for their weight, actually give credence to the theory of a Holy Downinity, complete with Divine Construction (which is how cathedrals stay on the ground). ---
**Author:** ![barker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@barker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barker)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/43 "2000-10-06T04:16:31Z")
Fluctuation of **g** : Clearly the Saturn Myth would account for this. That deals with Antideluvian times and would require its own thread. ---
**Author:** ![Wood\_Thrush](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b38774/32.png) [@Wood\_Thrush](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wood_Thrush)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/44 "2000-10-06T04:22:52Z")
An experiment will help us clear up this whole mess. Sheltered from the wind, an anvil will be lifted 10 feet in the air via the use of pulleys. Directly blow the anvil, **Smeghead** will be strapped to a chair. I will release the cord that holds up the anvil. Smeghead wil then observe the anvil carefully for any movement. The results of this experiment should change the way we think about falling, so don’t be surprised if I suddenly leave the country to attend some symposium or something. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/45 "2000-10-06T04:28:55Z")
Thank heavens for my famously extra-thick skull… ---
**Author:** ![hawthorne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@hawthorne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawthorne)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/46 "2000-10-06T05:32:15Z")
> [@](#): > > [sup]posted by **tomndebb** [/sup] > If Gravity is only a theory. How do Downists explain airplanes and birds flying? People PRAY in aeroplanes and give thanks when a safe landing is achieved. After the Great Float when there are no more of the rightious Downists amongst you, your puny planes will rust on the ground as symbols of man’s hubris. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/47 "2000-10-06T05:50:26Z")
And you’re going to tell us that birds, bats, and bugs are also praying to be kept aloft? I think not. Why would God invest in miracles to keep critters aloft just to entice men to attempt to emulate them, then require a totally different agency to let men accomplish the same thing? If God is going to keep those critters off the ground, He would use natural means to do it. (I realize that from your perspective, **picmr** , it is the _same_ agency–miracles for beasts and prayers for men–but that seems to require more direct involvement in the day-to-day activities of the world than God demonstrates in any other realm. I simply cannot accept that answer.) The anihilation of Static Gravity in the beating of their wings accomplishes this feat for creatures. Humanity accomplishes the same thing by anihilating Static Gravity with noise. (Notice that airplane engines are inherently loud and that no effort is made to muffle them.) God is not required as an agent for flight. Science describes the event quite well. ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/48 "2000-10-06T05:56:05Z")
How bout hot air balloons? ---
**Author:** ![Mauve\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@Mauve\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauve_Dog)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/49 "2000-10-06T06:10:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tomndebb \* > \*\*All right. If Gravity is only a theory. How do Downists explain airplanes and birds flying? Gravity provides a clear explanation of Flight using the principle of Static Gravity, which, when one overcomes it, allows one to go Up. \*\* Forgive me for interrupting in a thread where I clearly have no knowledge of the principles involved, but… I had read somewhere that flying is simply a special case with respect to gravity (I’ll see if I can find the cite…). Specifically, flying is what happens when you fall and miss the ground. Therefore, flying, to me at least, does not seem to violate the Downist position, _per se_. A flying object is simply a more derived falling object. Have I completely misinterpreted this idea? ---
**Author:** ![Palm\_Cove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@Palm\_Cove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palm_Cove)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/50 "2000-10-06T06:27:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by edwino \* > \*\*Yeah but can you explain the constancy of **g** over time? Rocks from the Oolagalagoong Desert in North Central Australia definitely bear marks of **g** > > \*\* Stay up to date!! Those rocks have been shown to be fakes, planted by downists in an elaborate hoax. see [http://www.dodgyrocks.com.au](http://www.dodgyrocks.com.au) ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/51 "2000-10-06T06:30:54Z")
Next you’ll tell me the imprint of the ancient coyote next to the imprint of the _T. Rex_ at the foot of the cliff in Glen Rose is a fake too. ---
**Author:** ![Palm\_Cove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@Palm\_Cove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palm_Cove)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/52 "2000-10-06T07:06:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by edwino \* > \*\*Next you’ll tell me the imprint of the ancient coyote next to the imprint of the _T. Rex_ at the foot of the cliff in Glen Rose is a fake too. \*\* How dare you be so presumptuious. I would never sugest such a thing, unless there was suficient evidence to prove that they were fakes. I was referring only to the rocks from the Oolagalagoong Desert in North Central Australia. To dismiss one piece of evidence is not to dismiss all evidence. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/53 "2000-10-06T09:35:06Z")
All of this talk about rocks and air! All of this “debate” and “science”. Don’t you realize what’s at stake here? Don’t you realize Gravitisum is nothing more than a Satanic plot to convince people that the way they stick to the Earth has nothing to do with God? And therefore it doesn’t matter which way they stick to the Earth? Soon, they won’t be sticking to the Earth the way God meant them to. They’ll be sticking to the Earth ANY WAY THEY WANT! Tommorrow you could wake up and your neighbor will be walking around on his eyebrows! And they’ll be teaching eyebrow walking to your children in school! IS THAT THE KIND OF WORLD WE WANT TO LIVE IN?! ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/54 "2000-10-06T12:57:09Z")
**tomndebb** said" > [@](#): > > . If Gravity is only a theory. How do Downists explain airplanes and birds flying? Obviously, God created the birds to test our faith and airplanes are another example of man attempting to be god-like. Have faith that those who commit the sin of flying are doomed to an eternity of despair. ---
**Author:** ![Phobos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Phobos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phobos)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/55 "2000-10-06T12:58:13Z")
Everyone knows that **duct tape** holds the universe together. Basically, there is an ether of duct tape atoms throughout the universe. These stick to other forms of matter and make everything stick together. It’s so obvious. You’re all fooling yourselves about gravitism and downism. Duct tape is the fundamental particle and the grand unifying force all rolled up into one. ---
**Author:** ![Palm\_Cove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@Palm\_Cove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palm_Cove)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/56 "2000-10-06T13:08:48Z")
Can you imagine the court case of someone busted for breaking the laws of gravity. Prosecutor: He was high as a kite your honour. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/57 "2000-10-06T13:45:21Z")
**tomndebb** : > [@](#): > > The anihilation of Static Gravity in the beating of their wings accomplishes this feat for creatures. Humanity accomplishes the same thing by anihilating Static Gravity with noise. **edwino** : > [@](#): > > How bout hot air balloons? Have you ever _listened_ to a hot air balloon? The burners on those things can be heard up to a mile and a half away on a calm day. The burner is, in fact, so loud, that it is able to create a reserve of Static Gravity that keeps the balloons aloft for a short period even after the burner has been silenced. (Someone will now try to interrupt with a comment on helium balloons, but I assure you that that issue has been dealt with by Dr. Palabra Sinverdad when he investigated the properties of helium, hydrogen, and methane and discovered that, due to their simple molecular structure, they were able to store large quantities of the Static Gravity-defeating agent phlogiston when they were created. (Notice that it requires considerable heat to extract those chemicals. The phlogiston is transferred to the chemicals during the extraction process.) ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/58 "2000-10-06T13:46:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wrath \* > \*\*Oh - and I apologize in advance for the meteors that are headed this way. \*\* Lead story in the current issue of _Weekly World News_: “900 Killer Asteroids Headed Toward Earth!!” Well, we can’t say we weren’t warned. (They have a website, [www.weeklyworldnews.com](http://www.weeklyworldnews.com), but it has last week’s issue. If there really are 900 killer asteroids approaching, I guess they figured, “Why bother updating? We’re all gonna die anyway.”) ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/59 "2000-10-06T13:59:17Z")
\*\*Mauve Dog wrote: I had read somewhere that flying is simply a special case with respect to gravity (I’ll see if I can find the cite…). Specifically, flying is what happens when you fall and miss the ground. Therefore, flying, to me at least, does not seem to violate the Downist position, per se. A flying object is simply a more derived falling object.\*\* **MD** , you must have remembered this from a pamplet by that great Downist research, **Jack Chickpea**. I have several of his papers and they clearly explain why the Downist theory is right and anything else is simply the work of the Great Invisible Boogey Man. The Great Invisible Boogey Man is the one who cluttered up the world with these **invalid** concepts of “thrust” and “lift” and all of those other Gravitist words that don’t mean anything. I’d show you the link to his website, but I have to go help a little old lady cross a busy street. And even as I type this, I can see she’s being molested by a _homosexual_ boyscout, so this may take a while. ---
**Author:** ![Freyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freyr/32/5763_2.png) [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758/60 "2000-10-06T13:59:17Z")
\*\*Mauve Dog wrote: I had read somewhere that flying is simply a special case with respect to gravity (I’ll see if I can find the cite…). Specifically, flying is what happens when you fall and miss the ground. Therefore, flying, to me at least, does not seem to violate the Downist position, per se. A flying object is simply a more derived falling object.\*\* **MD** , you must have remembered this from a pamplet by that great Downist researcher, **Jack Chickpea**. I have several of his papers and they clearly explain why the Downist theory is right and anything else is simply the work of the Great Invisible Boogey Man. The Great Invisible Boogey Man is the one who cluttered up the world with these **invalid** concepts of “thrust” and “lift” and all of those other Gravitist words that don’t mean anything. I’d show you the link to his website, but I have to go help a little old lady cross a busy street. And even as I type this, I can see she’s being molested by a _homosexual_ boyscout, so this may take a while. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gravitists-vs-downists/35758.md?page=4)