# Great airplane announcements

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-airplane-announcements/75398>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 8, 2001, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-airplane-announcements/75398 "2001-08-08T03:02:44Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![ss138](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@ss138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ss138)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 2001, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-airplane-announcements/75398/61 "2001-08-18T10:12:06Z")

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airline boarding call by George Carlin  
“Flight now boading we ask that everyone get on the plane”  
“F\*\*\* that I’m getting in the plane!”

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**Author:** ![Earthman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9dc877/32.png) [@Earthman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthman)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 2001, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-airplane-announcements/75398/62 "2001-08-18T11:09:59Z")

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A friend of mine recently told me an amusing tale which happened two summers ago, while flying American Airlines from Dallas to London. After reaching his cruising altitude and making the usual sort of “flight time - weather at the deasination - buckle when you are sitting” type of announcement, the pilot apparently _thought_ that he had turned off his microphone, turned to the co-pilot, and said “Well, now all that I need is a cup of coffee and a blowjob, and my morning will be complete!” This was, of course, heard clearly throughout the cabin by the amused passengers.  
At that point, a horrified flight attendant (female) began sprinting toward the cockpit to tell the pilot about his mike switch…

…when an old man shouted after her, “Hey, Honey - you forgot the coffee!”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Earthman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9dc877/32.png) [@Earthman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthman)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 2001, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-airplane-announcements/75398/63 "2001-08-18T11:12:36Z")

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oops - that was des **ti** nation…

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**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\
**Post date:** [August 18, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-airplane-announcements/75398/64 "2001-08-18T20:10:55Z")

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I was flying into Reno, don’t remember the airline, and we had to do a go around due to another plane on a taxiway that was crossing our active runway. Don’t know how that happened.

The pilot applied full power and we pulled up and around. He came on the PA and said:

“As you’ve probably noticed, we are not currently on the ground.”

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