# Great American Dad quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 25, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086 "2012-05-25T18:19:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086/41 "2013-01-04T07:50:44Z")
This dialogue after Steve loses a superexpensive drone cracks me up **Stan:** \* Son, I’m so sorry. I was wrong.\* **Steve:** What are you talking about? This is my fault. **Stan:** _No, when you were little and I told you there was nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you. Son…I was wrong._ ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086/42 "2013-01-04T15:55:27Z")
El perro, el perro, es mi corazón, El gato, el gato, el gato no es bueno. Cilantro es cantante, Cilantro es muy famoso, Cilantro es el hombre con el queso del diablo. El perro, el perro, nunca sin razón, El gato, el gato, el gato es obsceno. Cilantro es caliente, Cilantro es cariñoso, ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086/43 "2013-01-04T16:16:15Z")
Stan: By the way, what does the Anti-Christ look like? Jesus: Believe me, you’ll know him when you see him. [Stan shoots a creepy-looking schoolboy.] Jesus: AHH! What did you do that for?! Stan: That was the Anti-Christ! Jesus: No! There’s a prep school two blocks away. Sometimes the kids come in here and play! Stan: Then I guess I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie-daisies. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086/44 "2013-01-04T19:36:36Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Stan: By the way, what does the Anti-Christ look like? > Jesus: Believe me, you’ll know him when you see him. > [Stan shoots a creepy-looking schoolboy.] > Jesus: AHH! What did you do that for?! > Stan: That was the Anti-Christ! > Jesus: No! There’s a prep school two blocks away. Sometimes the kids come in here and play! > Stan: Then I guess I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie-daisies. > [@](#): > > Anti-Christ: Condemn them Mother, for they know exactly what they do! > Stan: Uh… I’m sorry, what is that? > Anti-Christ: Y’know. It’s the opposite of “forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.” Hello!? I’m the Anti-Christ! I’m the opposite of Jesus in every way!! Hahaha! The thing that bothered me about that episode - there can’t be that many Rapture-believing Episcopalians. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086/45 "2013-01-04T19:44:56Z")
And when the Anti-Christ’s death trap (“instead of walking on water, you’re swimming in land!”) falls apart: “Get it? Jesus is a carpenter and I’m not handy at all!” ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086/46 "2013-01-04T19:54:00Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > The thing that bothered me about that episode - there can’t be that many Rapture-believing Episcopalians. Maybe not many, but you’d better believe that Stan would one of them. What’s fun to think about, is technically everything that happens after that episode is just all part of Stan’s heaven fantasy. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086/47 "2013-01-04T22:39:34Z")
I can’t do it. - “Can’t”? We don’t live in “Ameri-can’t,” Steve. We live in America. No, no, no no, wait. We live in “Ameri-can.” No, wait, that’s not right, wait. We are “Ameri-can.” Where was I going with this? Um, I said, “Creative writing is hard.” - Oh, yeah, yeah. Perseverance, Steve, it’s all about perseverance. And if I Ameri-can’t teach you about it I have a friend who Ameri-will. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2013, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086/48 "2013-01-06T03:41:24Z")
Stan: Francine’s pretty mad at me for bailing on her. She made me have sex by myself last night. Roger: Yeah, I know. We were watching CSI together. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-american-dad-quotes/623086.md?page=2)