# Great article from The Onion about washed-up has-been Rock Stars **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 28, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783 "2014-10-28T18:10:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/1 "2014-10-28T18:10:16Z")
For a long time I’ve been more a fan of _The Onion_’s headlines than their articles. Very often they get a great joke into a headline and-that’s it- the joke is finished, so the actually article is pretty pointless and often adds nothing. For this one, the wisely keep the article very short, just a paragraph. Funny headline with a bit of texture added in the short article. [**Pathetic, Washed-Up Rock Star On Fifth Decade Of Doing Exactly What He Always Wanted**](http://www.theonion.com/articles/pathetic-washedup-rock-star-on-fifth-decade-of-doi,37299/) > [@](#): > > “It’s so sad to see that guy still out on tour after all this time,” a source said of the washed-up loser who has been able to walk out on a stage multiple nights a week for more than four decades and play music of his own creation while being cheered on enthusiastically by a paying audience. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/2 "2014-10-28T18:22:28Z")
Wait, so the singer of the J. Geils band, who I, admittedly, only know from the video and song Centerfold\* which I don’t even really like, isn’t some guy named J. Geils? Also, that guy, Peter Wolf, was married to Faye Dunaway in the '70’s. Well, I think I’ve learned more rock history today that I have this month. Hurray for me! \*And maybe a few others, but that’s the only one I could name if someone asked me to name a J. Geils song. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/3 "2014-10-28T18:28:39Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Wait, so the singer of the J. Geils band, who I, admittedly, only know from the video and song Centerfold\* which I don’t even really like, isn’t some guy named J. Geils? Also, that guy, Peter Wolf, was married to Faye Dunaway in the '70’s. Well, I think I’ve learned more rock history today that I have this month. Hurray for me! > \*And maybe a few others, but that’s the only one I could name if someone asked me to name a J. Geils song. You’ve probably heard “freeze frame” and “love stinks”. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/4 "2014-10-28T18:31:43Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > You’ve probably heard “freeze frame” and “love stinks”. And “Musta Got Lost”. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/5 "2014-10-28T18:36:45Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Wait, so the singer of the J. Geils band, who I, admittedly, only know from the video and song Centerfold\* which I don’t even really like, isn’t some guy named J. Geils? John Geils was the lead guitarist for the band. So now you’ve got an early start on November’s learning. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/6 "2014-10-28T18:42:40Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > John Geils was the lead guitarist for the band. > > So now you’ve got an early start on November’s learning. Next you’re gonna tell me that that bleach blonde guy prancing around in spandex all through the 80’s wasn’t Eddie Van Halen. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/7 "2014-10-28T18:44:39Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Next you’re gonna tell me that that bleach blonde guy prancing around in spandex all through the 80’s wasn’t Eddie Van Halen. That’s okay - you can still send fan letters to Jethro Tull…😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crotalus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crotalus/32/41_2.png) [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/8 "2014-10-28T18:48:02Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > That’s okay - you can still send fan letters to Jethro Tull…😉 But which one is Pink? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/9 "2014-10-28T18:58:08Z")
All I know for sure is, Ziggy played guitar. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/10 "2014-10-28T19:06:37Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Next you’re gonna tell me that that bleach blonde guy prancing around in spandex all through the 80’s wasn’t Eddie Van Halen. No, that guy’s name was Halen. Van Halen. Like Van Morrison. Van Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/11 "2014-10-28T20:21:25Z")
I like the joke, and I also appreciate the underlying observation: that as long as a musician is still making a good living doing something he enjoys, why the heck SHOULD he pack it in? I know, I know, some classic rock artists now sound horrible. Some classic bands have only one original member left. Some singers can’t hit high notes, and souind pathetic when they try. I admit all that. But if whatever incarnation of Styx or Journey or REO Speedwagon or \_\_\_\_ (fill in your favorite washed up band) can still draw, oh, 2,000 people a night, what’s wrong with that? If there are still nostalgic fans willing to pay to hear Kansas play “Dust in the Wind” again, why shouldn’t Kansas keep on playing it? If YOU could make 6 figures a year doing something you love, would YOU give it up just because some wisecracking strangers think it’s lame? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/12 "2014-10-28T20:32:24Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Next you’re gonna tell me that that bleach blonde guy prancing around in spandex all through the 80’s wasn’t Eddie Van Halen. No, that was Valerie Bertinelli. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/13 "2014-10-28T20:43:22Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > I know, I know, some classic rock artists now sound horrible. Some of them have only one original member left. Some singers can’t hit high notes, and souind pathetic when they try. I admit all that. > > … > > If YOU could make 6 figures a year doing something you love, would YOU give it up just because some wisecracking strangers think it’s lame? When I was 16, I saw Blondie live in a suburban hockey arena converted to be a concert hall for the night. There couldn’t have been more than 5,000 people in the audience. She wore a jumpsuit with the zipper down low enough for a teenage boy to develop an instant and lasting crush on her. The other night I watched Debra Harry sing “Heart of Glass” to an audience of what looked like 10’s of thousands. She wore black turtle neck top with a white cheap looking leather harness over it, black socks and high heeled white sandals that were a full size too small for her feet which caused her toes to curl over the ends of them. I was alone in my living room watching and I was cringing inside for her, wishing she wouldn’t be doing this. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/14 "2014-10-28T22:22:36Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > When I was 16, I saw Blondie live in a suburban hockey arena converted to be a concert hall for the night. There couldn’t have been more than 5,000 people in the audience. She wore a jumpsuit with the zipper down low enough for a teenage boy to develop an instant and lasting crush on her. > > The other night I watched Debra Harry sing “Heart of Glass” to an audience of what looked like 10’s of thousands. She wore black turtle neck top with a white cheap looking leather harness over it, black socks and high heeled white sandals that were a full size too small for her feet which caused her toes to curl over the ends of them. > > I was alone in my living room watching and I was cringing inside for her, wishing she wouldn’t be doing this. What was she wearing in between the turtleneck and black socks? A skirt? Leggings? I saw a picture of her not long ago wearing a skirt with something that looked like rolled up, knee-high, nylon trouser socks. :eek: The story with the picture said she was well known for wearing rolled up knee highs, part of her ‘look’, but at her age, it looked like Grandma was just dressing comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/15 "2014-10-28T22:37:17Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > When I was 16, I saw Blondie live […] She wore a jumpsuit with the zipper down low enough for a teenage boy to develop an instant and lasting crush on her. > > The other night I watched Debra Harry sing “Heart of Glass” to an audience of what looked like 10’s of thousands. She wore black turtle neck top with a white cheap looking leather harness over it, black socks and high heeled white sandals that were a full size too small for her feet […] > > I was alone in my living room watching and I was cringing inside for her, wishing she wouldn’t be doing this. It’s not surprising that your crush on Debbie Harry, founded on your teenage reaction to her thirtysomething boob exposure, hasn’t survived her transition to frumpy-dressing senior citizenship. However, it sounds as though the tens of thousands of people who apparently paid to attend her recent live concert were attracted to the event on account of something other than her long-vanished youthful cleavage. Instead of “wishing she wouldn’t be doing” something that Harry and huge numbers of her fans are apparently perfectly happy with, maybe you should be wishing that you could get over yourself and just change the channel if you don’t enjoy watching her perform any more. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2014, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/16 "2014-10-28T22:53:46Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > But if whatever incarnation of Styx or Journey or REO Speedwagon or \_\_\_\_ (fill in your favorite washed up band) can still draw, oh, 2,000 people a night, what’s wrong with that? If there are still nostalgic fans willing to pay to hear Kansas play “Dust in the Wind” again, why shouldn’t Kansas keep on playing it? A FOAF (and the friend I actually know) books the musical acts at a major venue in Milwaukee. A few years back he booked REO Speedwagon for the halftime show at a Milwaukee Admirals game. Turns out, all they wanted was $3000, travel, hotel and tickets to the game. Now, you have to keep in mind, (IIRC) they live in Chicago so it’s only a 90 minute drive to get here and from what it sounded like they were kind of excited to see the game, but we all sort of looked at each other and thought ‘wow, for $3000 maybe I’ll have them at my birthday party’. ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/17 "2014-10-29T00:07:00Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > John Geils was the lead guitarist for the band. > > So now you’ve got an early start on November’s learning. And the harmonica player, of course, was Magic Dick. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/18 "2014-10-29T01:53:48Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > When I was 16, I saw Blondie live in a suburban hockey arena converted to be a concert hall for the night. There couldn’t have been more than 5,000 people in the audience. She wore a jumpsuit with the zipper down low enough for a teenage boy to develop an instant and lasting crush on her. > > The other night I watched Debra Harry sing “Heart of Glass” to an audience of what looked like 10’s of thousands. She wore black turtle neck top with a white cheap looking leather harness over it, black socks and high heeled white sandals that were a full size too small for her feet which caused her toes to curl over the ends of them. > > I was alone in my living room watching and I was cringing inside for her, wishing she wouldn’t be doing this. I agree that hot chicks, once they get old and ugly, should just go away. :dubious: (maybe not quite what you mean, but it sure comes across that way). ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/19 "2014-10-29T02:50:39Z")
I LIKE when these bands tour. They play casinos or small venues with reasonable ticket prices and decent parking. I can see a lot more concerts for $60 each versus nearly $200 for the back of the venue for a bigger band. Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2014, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783/20 "2014-10-29T05:22:40Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > A FOAF (and the friend I actually know) books the musical acts at a major venue in Milwaukee. A few years back he booked REO Speedwagon for the halftime show at a Milwaukee Admirals game. Turns out, all they wanted was $3000, travel, hotel and tickets to the game. Now, you have to keep in mind, (IIRC) they live in Chicago so it’s only a 90 minute drive to get here and from what it sounded like they were kind of excited to see the game, but we all sort of looked at each other and thought ‘wow, for $3000 maybe I’ll have them at my birthday party’. My brother and I are huge fans of Todd Rundgren, and someone we know actually had him play their back yard. Unlike a lot of rock stars who haven’t had a hit in many decades, Todd is constantly trying new stuff, alternating playing hits with Ringo’s “All-Starr Band” and utterly random things like writing an album of electronic dance music called State. Before that, touring with the string quartet Ethel, playing with the Metropole Orchestra, touring an album of Robert Johnson covers, an album of Arena Rock - every album and tour seems to be something different. He has enough fans to make it worthwhile, so why shouldn’t he? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-article-from-the-onion-about-washed-up-has-been-rock-stars/702783.md?page=2)