# Great bumper stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 22, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061 "2003-07-22T01:13:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![williamweigand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b3f665/32.png) [@williamweigand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/williamweigand)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/21 "2003-07-22T13:02:46Z")
“Jesus saves - Esposito scores on the rebound” ---
**Author:** ![insomnia4AM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@insomnia4AM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/insomnia4AM)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/22 "2003-07-22T13:18:20Z")
Seen on a VW bus at a car show… **O-60 in 5 miles** ---
**Author:** ![El\_Marko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@El\_Marko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Marko)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/23 "2003-07-22T13:20:47Z")
“Vizualize whirled peas” “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you” “I love vegetarians, they’re delicious!” “I ‘heart’ my dog I ‘spade’ my dog I ‘club’ my dog My dog is dead” Sorry, I couldn’t figure out how to make the symbols show up right. replace the words in single quotes with the appropriate symbol. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/24 "2003-07-22T13:27:29Z")
This isn’t exactly a bumper sticker, but I saw it yesterday and it cracked me up. It was a very small (toddler-sized) Big Wheel type bike…a real one…lodged into the grill on a truck. Sick but funny. ---
**Author:** ![Starlite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Starlite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starlite)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/25 "2003-07-22T14:46:28Z")
Jesus Delivers… in thirty minutes or its free! Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, as you are crunchy and taste good for ketchup. Jeapordize your future. Participate in dangerous free thinking. [picture of an old Atari 2600 Joystick] Represent. My personal fav: Kiss me, I’m a pirate! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Moto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de0a6/32.png) [@Mr.Moto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Moto)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/26 "2003-07-22T15:24:58Z")
My brother-in-law designs and sells bumper stickers. Some of them are really good. A sampling: It’s Unamerican to put the UN Before America Screw Diversity, Celebrate Competence Ithaca is the City of Evil Gephardt 2004 - Stop Laughing, I’m Not Kidding. No, Really! Stop Hillary. Do It for the Children. ---
**Author:** ![Undead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/b3f665/32.png) [@Undead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Undead)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/27 "2003-07-22T16:45:35Z")
On a solid red bumper sticker, **If this sticker is blue, you’re driving too fast.** ---
**Author:** ![Stana\_Claus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stana_claus/32/13874_2.png) [@Stana\_Claus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stana_Claus)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/28 "2003-07-22T16:59:22Z")
Two of my favorites: Have you tormented the Devil today? Vegetarian is an old Indian word for “bad hunter” ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/29 "2003-07-22T18:12:19Z")
When I was a student at the University of Evansville, a guy in my dorm bought a long back-window sticker with the name of the school for his old VW Beetle. It was too long for the rear window, so he had to shorten it. His back window said: **University of Evil** ---
**Author:** ![SkyBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SkyBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkyBum)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/30 "2003-07-22T19:02:57Z")
My favorite that I have personally displayed: You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny Favorite that I have seen (I live in a fairly religious community): Sorry I havnt been to church lately, I’ve been busy practicing paganism and exploring my lesbian side. ---
**Author:** ![CharlesW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@CharlesW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CharlesW)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/31 "2003-07-22T19:39:27Z")
On my Truck I’d rather be Cummin’ than Strokin! - Elludes to the Dodge Cummins Diesel vs. Ford Power Stroke Diesel. Want on my truck 1. Diesel fumes make me horney! 2. My lug nuts require more tourqe than your honda makes! Seen on other cars On a semi truck - Thats not a truck. This is a truck. On a jeep on a flat bed tow truck - If you can’t hang with the big dogs then stay on the porch. On a race car at the track - I would be faster, but my wife only works part time. In a race car with a push button ignition. Under the starter button - Player 1 Start Another race car - If you can read this you were beat by a girl! ---
**Author:** ![BigDadDogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@BigDadDogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigDadDogg)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/32 "2003-07-22T20:06:44Z")
**YES** … it’s my truck **NO** …I won’t help you move If you’ve ever owned a big pickup truck, you can appreciate this one! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Stage\_Manager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stage_manager/32/7267_2.png) [@Stage\_Manager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stage_Manager)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/33 "2003-07-22T20:10:54Z")
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move the bodies. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/34 "2003-07-22T20:16:41Z")
\*\*I still eat french fries. \*\* \*\*Don’t blame me: I voted for Dave Barry. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/35 "2003-07-23T03:05:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \* > \*\*My favorite one is a variation on the “Jesus” fish. After you’ve seen the one with “Ichthus” in Greek and “Jesus” in english, followed by the one with feet that says “Darwin” and the ones with Darwin and Jesus attacking each other, it’s kind of a relief to see one that says “Ghoti”. If I was gonna put one on my car, that’s the one I’d choose. \*\* I have no idea why, but I’ve always wanted a “Jesus”-fish that said “Fuck You” inside of it. It just seems like it would be the height of nonsensical comedy. Don’t know what I’d do with it considering I don’t like automobile decorations but I’d just like to have one. Anyone know where you can have that kind of stuff made? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/36 "2003-07-23T03:54:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by El Marko \* > \*\* > > “I ‘heart’ my dog > I ‘spade’ my dog > I ‘club’ my dog > My dog is dead” > > Sorry, I couldn’t figure out how to make the symbols show up right. replace the words in single quotes with the appropriate symbol. \*\* Look 14 posts before yours, quote it, and look at the html ---
**Author:** ![Mooney252](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@Mooney252](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooney252)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/37 "2003-07-23T04:02:44Z")
> [@](#): > > It’s Unamerican to put the UN Before America > Screw Diversity, Celebrate Competence > Ithaca is the City of Evil Youre brother needs to keep his day job. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/38 "2003-07-23T04:11:31Z")
Horn broke, watch for finger. Who cares? You can’t force me to get an education. (In Florida) We don’t care how you do it up north. I might be slow but I’m ahead of you. ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/39 "2003-07-23T04:14:31Z")
Seen on the back of a Suzuki Samurai: **If you can read this, turn me over** (it was upside down) ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061/40 "2003-07-23T04:20:38Z")
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy The more you complain, the longer God lets you live. My kid had sex with your honor student. Help wanted: telepath: you know where to apply. Out of my mind–back in five minutes. Keep honking–I’m reloading. It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you. When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS. He who laughs last thinks slowest. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-bumper-stickers/190061.md?page=3)