# Great comedic Bad Guys **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 30, 2005, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566 "2005-06-30T18:54:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jayrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Jayrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayrot)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/41 "2005-07-01T16:38:32Z")
Sorry, I can’t resist a few more Mr. Burns quotes! “I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I’ll bide my time until … Oh, what the hell. I’ll just crush him like an ant.” “Yes, I’d like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?” ---
**Author:** ![HelloKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecccb3/32.png) [@HelloKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelloKitty)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/42 "2005-07-01T16:57:28Z")
Speaking of Pee Wee Herman, how about **Francis** , the rich nerd who stole Pee-Wee’s bike in _Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure_? Francis: Remember the first time I saw your bike? You came riding past my house and I came running out to tell you how much I liked it even way back then? Pee-wee: I love that story. Francis: [ominous voice] You’ll be sorry, Pee-wee Herman! [/ominous voice] ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/43 "2005-07-01T17:07:25Z")
The Mayor, in Buffy. Someone get me a good quote, I can’t think of any and my dumb work firewall won’t let me google. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/44 "2005-07-01T18:05:14Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > The Mayor, in Buffy. Someone get me a good quote, I can’t think of any and my dumb work firewall won’t let me google. **Mayor:** “Well. What a day this is. A special day. Today is our centennial. The 100th anniversary of the founding of Sunnydale. And I know what that means to all you kids. . .Not a darn thing.” **Buffy:** “My god, he’s gonna do the entire speech.” **Willow:** “Man, just ascend already.” **Buffy:** “Evil.” **Mayor Wilkins:** “A package is arriving tomorrow night from Central America. Something - and I can’t stress this enough - something crucially important to my ascension. Without it… well, what would tollhouse cookies be without the chocolate chips? A pretty darn big disappointment, I can tell you!” **Mayor:** “There’s more than one way to skin a cat, and I happen to know that’s factually true.” **Mayor:** “I think they could be cleaner.” **Aide:** “Of course, sir. I mean, I wash them, but…” **Mayor:** “After every meal, and under your fingernails. Dirt gets trapped there. And germs. And mayonnaise.” ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/45 "2005-07-01T18:22:50Z")
Q (John de Lancie) in various forms of _Star Trek_, primarily TNG. “Red alert.” “I think I just hurt my back. I’m feeling pain. I don’t like it. Uh, what’s the right thing to say? ‘Ow’?” “Ow, I think.” ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/46 "2005-07-01T19:04:59Z")
> [@foxymoron](#): > > Paul Reubens in _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. His death scene. (Sorry–Nothing very quotable there.) What? “Kill them a lot.” isn’t good enough for you? ---
**Author:** ![Push\_You\_Down](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/push_you_down/32/9095_2.png) [@Push\_You\_Down](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Push_You_Down)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/47 "2005-07-01T19:16:40Z")
Let me add… Lethal Weapon 2 (you know the one with the evil South Africans) Main villain like his office clean so before he will shoot someone he has plastic laid on the floor. After his men fail him he is berating them. Right Hand Man Henchman looks down at his feet. Main villain asks “What are you doing?” Henchman’s reply “Just making sure I’m not on plastic.” ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/48 "2005-07-01T19:22:55Z")
> [@Push You Down](#): > > Let me add… > > Lethal Weapon 2 (you know the one with the evil South Africans) > > Main villain like his office clean so before he will shoot someone he has plastic laid on the floor. After his men fail him he is berating them. Right Hand Man Henchman looks down at his feet. Main villain asks “What are you doing?” Henchman’s reply “Just making sure I’m not on plastic.” Joss Ackland played a great villain in that movie. “Diplomatic immunity, Mr. Riggs!” ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/49 "2005-07-01T19:29:48Z")
**Khan** in _Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan_. “He Tasks me! He tasks me, and I shall have him!” “From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee!” Maybe he doesn’t count, though, since these are just quotes from **Moby Dick** ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/50 "2005-07-01T19:34:39Z")
Thank you, **silenus**! ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/51 "2005-07-02T00:11:05Z")
Yzma, from **The Emperor’s New Groove.** “Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives… **laughs** I’ll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!” “Is _that_ my voice? Is that _my_ voice?” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/52 "2005-07-02T00:21:01Z")
[QUOTE=want2know] Col. Erhardt in “To Be or Not To Be”–both Sig Rumann in the original and Charles Durning in the Mel Brooks version.[list] [li]“So ,they call me Concentration Camp Erhardt, hmm?”[/li][/QUOTE] Yeah! (Rumann, eyeing the painting of Hitler over his desk) _“I alvays sought zere vas somezing wrong mit a man who didn’t drrrrink or smoke!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/53 "2005-07-02T01:06:47Z")
Although my personal favorite quote from the Mayor is his ruminations on Spike: “This year is too important to have a loose cannon rocking the boat. …Is that a mixed metaphor? Boats do have cannons.” ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/54 "2005-07-02T23:06:20Z")
> [@foxymoron](#): > > Paul Reubens in _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. His death scene. (Sorry–Nothing very quotable there.) The great quote from that is: Reubins: I’m like a god, I can do anything. Buffy: Oh, yeah, clap. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/55 "2005-07-03T04:46:05Z")
From cartoons: Boris Badenov Natasha Fatale & Fearless Leader Wile E. Coyote Taz Plankton Not from cartoons: The Knights who say “Ni” The Black Knight The French Taunter Chief Inspector Dreyfus [Vernon Dent](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0219783/) [Kenneth MacDonald](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0531810/) ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/56 "2005-07-03T06:27:59Z")
From a cartoon: Invader Zim Gir Well, technically Gir may not count since it doesn’t care about doing evil, but it’s still quite funny. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/57 "2005-07-03T07:34:51Z")
Another vote for Alan Rickman Sir Guy: “But cousin, why a blunt spoon?” Sheriff: “Because it hurts more” ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/58 "2005-07-03T07:41:05Z")
Ignignot: Look, these women aren’t wearing any clothes and they’re not complaining and Oglethorpe: No, it is a Fargate, from the makers of “Findependence Day” Heck except for Meatwad and Frylock you can quote everyone else and it’ll fit. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/59 "2005-07-03T09:03:09Z")
The Two peasents in “The Hidden Fortress” could arguably be called bad guys, except they are quite stupid and funny. ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566/60 "2005-07-03T21:36:51Z")
I just watched Neil Gaiman’s “Neverwhere” on DVD. On the whole I was disappointed in it but really enjoyed Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandermar. There is something truly chilling about a lunatic who delights in and is delighted by his own evil. Hywel Bennett was wonderful as Mr. Croup. No quotes come to mind however. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-comedic-bad-guys/310566.md?page=4)