# Great Cooking Disasters Of Our Time **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 22, 2009, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722 "2009-10-22T09:58:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/21 "2009-10-24T18:23:37Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Oo, that could have worked if you oven-roasted the garlic first - cut off the tops to expose the cloves, drizzle with olive oil, roast until the cloves are mild and soft like butter. You can pretty much spread them on bread when they’re like that. > > Non-roasted garlic… yeah, not gonna work. Agreed, I love roasted garlic. This was for some chicken dish. I don’t actually know how he was planning on preparing it. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/22 "2009-10-24T19:11:03Z")
Back when soft margarine first came on the market, I knew a young lady that used it for cake frosting. She said she had never had frosting that spread so nicely. She finished the cake and we went out. About 3 hours later we returned, the care was bare and sitting in a puddle of unset frosting. At room temps, the frosting just slid off the cake and onto the plate. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/23 "2009-10-24T19:19:58Z")
I like to make lunch salads or wraps with chicken strips. I use different kinds of marinates for the chicken before I cooked it. One night a marinated some chicken in some kind of Southwestern marinate. The next morning I made my Southwestern wraps as normal. I went to work and lunchtime came. I bought my drink and sat down an took a bite of my wrap. It turns out a I forgot something when making them. Care to guess what I forgot? **Cooking**. I forgot to **cook** the chicken and made myself 2 raw chicken wraps. :smack: I ended up buying my lunch. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/24 "2009-10-24T19:23:09Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > Agreed, I love roasted garlic. This was for some chicken dish. I don’t actually know how he was planning on preparing it. No chance it was [40 cloves and a chicken](http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/40-cloves-and-a-chicken-recipe/index.html), was it? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/25 "2009-10-24T19:25:20Z")
10 minutes ago. Just did a roast in my brand f!#@$ing new crockpot and cracked it while pouring water in it to soak for cleaning. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/26 "2009-10-24T19:32:17Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > Agreed, I love roasted garlic. This was for some chicken dish. I don’t actually know how he was planning on preparing it. There is actually a chicken recipe that calls for 40 cloves. It is quite good actually =) [Alton Browns version](http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/40-cloves-and-a-chicken-recipe/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/27 "2009-10-24T19:36:14Z")
We were invited to a large dinner party. The hostess had really made an effort, and with making all these side dishes and serving so many people, she had nearly ran out of crockery. (this was in the pre-dishwasher days). So, when she withdrew in her kitchen again to whip up some cream for dessert, she was happy to see a large white pot in the back of her cupboard that seemed perfect for the job. Except, it was her old salt jar. Salty whipped cream on bavarois is…interesting. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/28 "2009-10-24T19:37:24Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > There is actually a chicken recipe that calls for 40 cloves. It is quite good actually =) > > [Alton Browns version](http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/40-cloves-and-a-chicken-recipe/index.html) Pssssst. Look up. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/29 "2009-10-24T20:16:29Z")
Forgot to mention my mother making a grilled cheese sandwich for my sister-in-law. How can you screw that up? Mom forgot to take the plastic off the individually wrapped piece of cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/30 "2009-10-24T20:42:58Z")
My sister once infamously baked a batch of cookies using a recipe that called for either a third of a cup of sugar or a third of a teaspoon of salt, maybe both, I dunno. In any case, she was very tired and staying up late to make this recipe, and did not read it correctly… You see where this is going… She was planning to give the cookies to the high school football team. Fortunately, my mom stole one that morning, and got my sister to try them before packing them up. She took a bite, spit it out, and gave the cookie to our dog so it wouldn’t be a total waste. The dog took it, dropped it immediately, and left the kitchen.😃 This story, of course, is a much beloved bit of family lore centered around my sister, along with the Orange Juice Story, the Child-Proof Doorknob Covers, and the time she accidentally attempted to strangle me:D More recently, some of you might recall that I recently attempted to produce a pot of chili for a [Chili Cookoff](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=11700089) that our squadron was doing. A lot of effort later, I ended up with a very watery, tomatoey concoction that wasn’t so much chili as it was beef stew in need of some potatos. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/31 "2009-10-24T20:47:49Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > … He thought sweetened, condensed milk was the same as evaporated milk. That was my downfall, but for homemade mac & cheese (Cook’s Illustrated recipe). Fortunately I taste-tested the candyfied mac & cheese, and had time to run out for more gruyere and _evaporated_ milk before the potluck. eew. ---
**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/32 "2009-10-24T21:15:47Z")
Mine is a less tame and probably not worthy of belonging to this threads. I’m not much of a cook actually. But how do you mess up cup noodles/ramen? Once I forgot to check whether the water was hot. Turned out the water heater was off, and so I got myself a cup of lukewarm hard…stuff. The second time I was hungry and did an experiment. Pour 2 different flavor of cup noodles into one bowl and add in hot water. It was awful. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/33 "2009-10-24T22:47:10Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Forgot to mention my mother making a grilled cheese sandwich for my sister-in-law. > How can you screw that up? > > Mom forgot to take the plastic off the individually wrapped piece of cheese. Here’s another way to screw it up, brought to you by my lovely wife: Butter the bread, then place the sandwich on the grill _with the buttered side on the inside of the sandwich_. Better yet, slather the butter on the bread so it’s about 1/3rd inch thick. Yum! (not) ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/34 "2009-10-24T23:07:17Z")
Grate the lovely yummy smoked Gouda for macaroni and cheeeeese. Boil the noodles. Open the can of frenchfried onions. Butter the casserole. Start heating the milk for cheese sauce. Realise that you are totally out of flour of any kind. Powder some breadcrumbs in their place. Watch your gouda totally fail to become sauce, preferring to be oozy lumps in the milk. :smack: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Be glad that you also had a roasted chicken and vegies. Serve your hungry friend a slightly smaller lunch. Try to laugh about the mac-n-cheez. :dubious: Later, put your noodles into the compost sadly. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![parthenokinesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@parthenokinesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parthenokinesis)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/35 "2009-10-24T23:10:31Z")
As a child I once attempted to make myself a snack of a pot of stove top stuffing. The recipe called for 1 1/4 cup water, which I read as 11/4 cup water. The stuffing soup was sadly inedible. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2009, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/36 "2009-10-25T01:32:30Z")
The worst I ever did was at the age of 13 or so, I tried to make some pasta for supper at a Boy Scout Camp. I filled a big pot with water, dumped all the pasta in it, and then put it over the camp stove. I never knew pasta could essentially glue itself together in a pot. My Dad _still_ tells that story at _every_ meal at the yearly family campout, even though I’m actually a pretty good cook of the “A little of this, a little of that, put it in the pot/skillet/oven, and that’s damned tasy” school. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2009, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/37 "2009-10-25T02:55:22Z")
In baking school, I stopped another student just before she added a cupful of rum extract to a rumball recipe that called for a capful. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2009, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/38 "2009-10-25T04:28:48Z")
I have a question - if you do inadvertantly cook a duck (or turkey or chicken) with the innards still inside - what happens? Is the bird still edible, or is it ruined and you should just throw it away? (this doesn’t involve cooking, but I thought it was funny and don’t know where else to put it: The Real Deals dollar store has some peculiar food items and last week offered these sort of plastic bags containing: a smashed ‘breakfast cake’, a smashed cookie, two little packs of M&Ms, a plastic cup of minced peaches, and a little can of no-name Vienna sausages. I can only theorize these were bag lunches served on a plane ride to Hell!) ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2009, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/39 "2009-10-25T05:15:01Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > No chance it was [40 cloves and a chicken](http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/40-cloves-and-a-chicken-recipe/index.html), was it? The recipe called for 7 cloves of garlic. That is the whole point of the anecdote. He didn’t know the difference between a clove and a head of garlic. I feel like I’m explaining a joke here. My anecdote has lost its amusement factor. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2009, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722/40 "2009-10-25T07:37:24Z")
Speaking of explaining humor… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-cooking-disasters-of-our-time/514722.md?page=3)