# Great Epitaphs **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 4, 2008, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083 "2008-11-04T17:15:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/1 "2008-11-04T17:15:27Z")
This staff [report](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2820/did-mel-blanc-hate-carrots) mentions that Mel Blanc’s epitaph reads: “That’s all, folks.” That’s so perfect, I was wondering about other well-known people’s epitaphs that give a nod to their fame. Know any? ---
**Author:** ![Scoobysnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Scoobysnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoobysnax)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/2 "2008-11-04T18:39:17Z")
Although the individual burried is not famous [this](http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/headstone.asp) headstone includes a great epitaph. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/3 "2008-11-04T19:00:57Z")
He’s not famous outside Texas, and I wouldn’t have known about it had not Molly Ivins written it up in a column, but one Texas legislator was told that “No one ever had, carved on his tombstone, that he ever passed a tax bill”. He replied “I will” and, as Ivins said, he did. On a pink granite tombstone in the shape of the state of Texas, it reads “Author of a Tax Bill”. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/4 "2008-11-04T19:23:01Z")
Many moons ago, I lived not too far from [Congressional Cemetery](http://www.congressionalcemetery.org/) in DC. It’s a lovely and interesting place to visit. One of the epitaphs there is that of [Leonard Matlovich](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Sgt._Leonard_Matlovich_(13203725).jpg), which reads: When I was in the military They gave me a medal for killing two men And a discharge for loving one ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/5 "2008-11-04T19:40:25Z")
Hic jacet Arthurus, rex quondam rexque futurus. Or Virginia Woolf’s final words: “Against you I will fling myself, / Unvanquished and unyielding, O Death!” ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/6 "2008-11-04T20:33:58Z")
Years ago a civil right leader whose name escapes me had, “I tried.” Steve Forbes, “While Alive; He Lived.” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/7 "2008-11-04T20:41:01Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > Hic jacet Arthurus, rex quondam rexque futurus. Thanks to uncounted Asterix books, I think I actually know what that means! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/8 "2008-11-04T20:48:15Z")
“See, I told you I was sick.” ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/9 "2008-11-04T21:32:48Z")
> [@Paul in Saudi](#): > > Steve Forbes, “While Alive; He Lived.” You mean Malcolm Forbes, don’t you. Dorothy Parker: Excuse my dust ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/10 "2008-11-04T21:34:15Z")
Si monumentum requiris circumspice (If you seek a monument, look around – On Christopher Wren’s tomb in St Paul’s Cathedral in London) ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/11 "2008-11-04T22:43:19Z")
Although it was proposed by the man himself, W.C.'s epitaph wasn’t actually used, as far as I know. “Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.” ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2008, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/12 "2008-11-04T23:28:36Z")
> [@An\_Arky](#): > > Many moons ago, I lived not too far from [Congressional Cemetery](http://www.congressionalcemetery.org/) in DC. It’s a lovely and interesting place to visit. > > One of the epitaphs there is that of [Leonard Matlovich](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Sgt._Leonard_Matlovich_(13203725).jpg), which reads: > > When I was in the military > They gave me a medal for killing two men > And a discharge for loving one Just…wow. What a statement. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/13 "2008-11-05T13:00:39Z")
In a similar thread, a long time ago, somebody suggested “Well, this sucks.” Anonymous doper, I have forgotten who you were, but that was one of the few true belly laughs I’ve had out of this place. ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/14 "2008-11-05T20:42:47Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > “See, I told you I was sick.” Just last week I mentioned to a friend that I wanted “I Told You So” on my headstone. Only thing is, I’m guessing I won’t be around to find out if it’s there. ---
**Author:** ![Airblairxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Airblairxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airblairxxx)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/15 "2008-11-05T21:06:16Z")
Mine’s going to say: “You should see the other guy” that is, if my wife will let me . . . ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/16 "2008-11-05T21:08:47Z")
Victorian memsahib [Lady Florentia Sale](http://chnm.gmu.edu/wwh/modules/lesson8/lesson8.php?s=5) has the finest and most moving epitaph ever written: “Under this stone reposes all that could die of Lady Sale”. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/17 "2008-11-06T14:25:29Z")
I dont know it verbatim but isn’t there one in Greece that says something to the effect of … Stranger passing by go tell the Spartans that we did our duty. Or some such,obviously about the Three Hundred. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/18 "2008-11-06T15:00:02Z")
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona. He’s buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona. “Here lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a .44 No Les No More.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/19 "2008-11-06T15:15:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona. > > He’s buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona. > > “Here lies Lester Moore > Four slugs from a .44 > No Les No More.” It’s pretty inlikely that this one’s real. As others have pointed out, in that period it would be much more likely to say “four _balls_ from a 44” than “four slugs from na 44”. But the whole thing, even without that, smacks of “Too Good to be True” By the way, Les Moore, even if he existed, certainly wasn’t famous, and doesn’t really belong in this thread. If the topic of the thread was simply “funny epigraphs”, then I’ve got a stackl of them that I memorized from old Ripley’s Believe it or Not books. But I’m not going to inflict them on you, because a.) The people involved weren’t otherwise famous; and b.) Sometimes the answer is definitely “Not”. Ripley, for instance, cites Lester Moore’s doggerel-inscribed tombstone on more than one occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Petrobey\_Mavromihalis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@Petrobey\_Mavromihalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Petrobey_Mavromihalis)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083/20 "2008-11-06T15:16:58Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > I dont know it verbatim but isn’t there one in Greece that says something to the effect of … > > Stranger passing by go tell the Spartans that we did our duty. > > Or some such,obviously about the Three Hundred. It’s the Epitaph of Simonides (a contemporary poet) that lay on the burial mound of the Spartans at Thermopylae, to the north of Athens. The original is lost, but there is a modern replacement. There are various translations, but I like: _Go, stranger, and to Lacedaemon tell That here, obeying her behests, we fell._ Lacedaemon is an alternative name for Sparta. It gave us the word laconic, perfectly illustrated by this epitaph. The real history of Leonidas and his 300 troops is so much cooler than any weird, homoerotic movie. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-epitaphs/471083.md?page=2)