# Great Joke From HBO Documentary **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2005, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-joke-from-hbo-documentary/302796 "2005-05-07T06:12:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-joke-from-hbo-documentary/302796/1 "2005-05-07T06:12:00Z")
I think the documentary was “Funny Old Guys”. A Rabbi approaches a man after service and says, “We could use a donation for the school playground, books in the library, the heating system and some other worthwhile projects.” The man nods and says, “Rabbi, I have a son who wants to go to Harvard. That is going to cost a hundred thousand dollars. I have two parents with Alzheimer’s, and a private home with treatment is going to cost a hundred thousand dollars. And my wife, she was just diagnosed with MS, and the doctors said the treatments are going to cost a hundred thousand dollars. If I can say no to them…” ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-joke-from-hbo-documentary/302796/2 "2005-05-07T14:19:20Z")
Reminds me of the old Jewish grandpa, whose teenage grandson is staying with him for the summer. He needs some money to go out for the evening; Grandpa, Can I have 20 dollars to go to the movies? Wow, 15 bucks is a lot of money, what do you need 10 bucks for? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-joke-from-hbo-documentary/302796/3 "2005-05-07T14:28:29Z")
What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips. (yes, I’m Jewish) ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-joke-from-hbo-documentary/302796/4 "2005-05-07T22:18:59Z")
;j Loving the Jewish humor. I think I’ll add some of my own, only with less stereotyping of financial habits: Three reform rabbis are arguing which of their temples is the least religious. One says, “We pass out sandwiches during services!” Another says, “Ha, that’s nothing! We pass out _ham_ sandwiches during services!” The third says, “You’re both a bunch of orthodoxy. During Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we put up a big neon sign that says ‘Closed for the Holidays’.” ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-joke-from-hbo-documentary/302796/5 "2005-05-08T02:27:40Z")
Why do Jews have such big noses? Air’s free. (no, I’m not Jewish) ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-joke-from-hbo-documentary/302796/6 "2005-05-08T05:02:31Z")
During the Great Depression, Moe and Abe, two impoverished, homeless Jews are wandering the streets, when they pass a Catholic church with a sign that reads, “$50 To Anyone Who’ll Be Baptized.” Moe says to Abe, “What the hell, fifty bucks is fifty bucks. I think I’ll go in and get baptized.” Moe enters the Church. Fifteen minutes later, he comes walking out." Abe asks, “Well, did you get the money?” Moe snaps back, “Money, money, money… is that ALL you people ever think about?” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-joke-from-hbo-documentary/302796/7 "2005-05-08T07:54:47Z")
Hymie and Mordichai are walking down the street. They come to the bridge over the river. As they cross, M says, “Oy! I gotta pee, doncha know?”. “I could pee.” says H. They both whip out and start to whiz. M says, “Ahhhh, cold is this water!” H says, “A little deep, too.” Sorry. Thats all I could come up with. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2005, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-joke-from-hbo-documentary/302796/8 "2005-05-08T12:58:36Z")
> [@x-ray vision](#): > > Why do Jews have such big noses? > > Air’s free. > > (no, I’m not Jewish) Absolutely not. This thread is closed. - SkipMagic