# Great line in a crummy movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 31, 2019, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810 "2019-03-31T16:01:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2019, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/41 "2019-04-02T13:08:54Z")
_Teen Wolf_ There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2019, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/42 "2019-04-02T14:46:42Z")
The only memorable thing about “Assault of the Killer Bimbos” was this gem from one of the Bimbos: “I’ll never be a dancer. I’m too stupid. I should have gone to college!” ---
**Author:** ![Quercus\_alba](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quercus_alba/32/4061_2.png) [@Quercus\_alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus_alba)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2019, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/43 "2019-04-03T02:43:14Z")
> [@Gray\_Ghost](#): > > That’s at the very end of the movie, isn’t it? I mean, why not end on a giant pun? It felt like the entire movie was just one long setup for that line. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2019, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/44 "2019-04-03T15:51:36Z")
Don’t know the name of this movie, and honestly would rather not take the time to find out. It starred Shannon Tweed and Andrew Dice Clay, so that’s a clue right there. Basically a _Die Hard_ rip-off. Dice is the terrorist/robbers/bad guy’s leader. Shannon is a faded movie star 😉 who is judging a beauty contest at the hotel Dice’s men have taken over and are holding for ransom. However, unbeknownst to Dice, Shannon was an action star who apparently did a number of her own stunts, as evidenced by this exchange: **Punk Flunky** : “You sent Bob with her [Shannon] alone? No back-up?” **Dice:** “Yeah, why not?” **Punk Flunky** : “Haven’t you seen any of her movies??” **Dice:** “No.” **Punk Flunky:** “She’s like Bruce Lee with boobs!” I will admit, that line made me sit through another hour of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2019, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/45 "2019-04-03T16:35:23Z")
(Sorry for anyone who really likes _Alien: Resurrection_) **Johner** Hey, Ripley. I heard you, like, ran into these things before? **Ripley** That’s right. **Johner** Wow, man. So, like, what did you do? **Ripley** I died. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2019, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/46 "2019-04-03T19:06:09Z")
J. K. Simmons at the end of Burn After Reading: “Jesus, what a clusterfuck.” ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2019, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/47 "2019-04-03T20:15:58Z")
Im not a fan of CLUE, but of course: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92IkddsjtAA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92IkddsjtAA) Also…I havent seen a lot of Gene Wilders lesser works…but he’s so great i’m sure there are some. Here’s one though i quite like Start the Revolution Without Me [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3svB0cl3gGs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3svB0cl3gGs) ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/48 "2019-04-04T16:42:19Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > The thing I love about that film is that they actually stole their best scenes (the awakening of the sorcerer, the crucifiction of the hero) directly from Robert E. Howard’s _Conan_ stories, unlike the “official” Conan movies that didn’t seem to use any of Howard’s material at all. _Conan the Barbarian_ (the Arnold one) got a bunch of stuff from the original stories too - Conan being chased by wolves into a cave & finding an ancient sword (“The Thing in the Crypt” though that was a deCamp/Carter story, not REH), climbing the Tower of Serpents in Zamora (“Tower of the Elephant”), Conan himself is crucified (“A Witch Shall Be Born”), Valeria comes back from the dead to save Conan (“Queen of the Black Coast”). Destroyer & Mamoa, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/49 "2019-04-04T17:12:08Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > _Conan the Barbarian_ (the Arnold one) got a bunch of stuff from the original stories too - Conan being chased by wolves into a cave & finding an ancient sword (“The Thing in the Crypt” though that was a deCamp/Carter story, not REH), climbing the Tower of Serpents in Zamora (“Tower of the Elephant”), Conan himself is crucified (“A Witch Shall Be Born”), Valeria comes back from the dead to save Conan (“Queen of the Black Coast”). > > Destroyer & Mamoa, not so much. That’s pretty thin gruel. If he’d climbed a tower and got involved with a wizard’s duel between a nonhuman entity and an aged human, as in Tower of the Elephant, I’d have watched. But just because he climbed a tower doesn’t bear a lot of resemblance to the Howard story. And the crucifiction scene in _Sword and the Sorceror_ much more closely resembles the one in “A Witch Shall be born” than the one in the Conan movie. There was, as I say, more concentrated Howard in the opening scene of Sword and the Sorceror than there was in the whole Schwarzenegger movie. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/50 "2019-04-04T17:20:41Z")
I haven’t seen Sword & the Sorcerer since it came out, but IIRC, he was crucified as “entertainment” at a feast. In Conan, he was crucified & left to die in the desert, which is exactly what happened in “Witch”. Conan even recreated the [vulture scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUwPHTI47Lg) from the original story. ETA: And I’d claim the ridiculous [three bladed spring loaded sword](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OU96za6czU) effectively ruins anything that possibly could have been good about Sword & the Sorcerer. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/51 "2019-04-04T17:24:16Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > From _The Brain That Wouldn’t Die_(1962) > > Old Dr. Cortner: The Superintendent had it out with me. He thinks it’s you who’s been stealing those limbs from the amputee operations. > > Young Dr. Cortner: So what if it is? Annnnd with a little help from MST3K: Curt, assistant to Dr Cortner: Sometimes the path of scientific experimentation twists and turns through mountains of miscalculations and often loses itself in error and darkness… Crow: …and sometimes things just screw up. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/52 "2019-04-04T18:31:30Z")
Way to late to edit: Valeria’s speech to Conan about coming back to save him is lifted pretty closely from Belit’s speech: Valeria: All the gods they cannot sever us. If I were dead and you still fighting for life I’d come back from the darkness. Back from the pit of hell to fight at your side. Belit: Were I still in death and you fighting for life, I would come back from the abyss to aid you – aye, whether my spirit floated with the purple sails on the crystal sea of paradise, or writhed in the molten flames of hell! I am yours, and all the gods and all their eternities shall not sever us! ---
**Author:** ![Dale\_Sams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/779978/32.png) [@Dale\_Sams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dale_Sams)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/53 "2019-04-04T20:33:41Z")
Conan is not crummy!! ---
**Author:** ![Proudest\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/proudest_monkey/32/13257_2.png) [@Proudest\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Proudest_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/54 "2019-04-04T20:53:44Z")
From the 1970 Disney movie\*\* The Boatniks \*\*(it’s not really crummy, but it’s no **Mary Poppins** ), when a large, cured salami tumbles overboard: “Does salt water hurt salami?” “Not like white bread and mayonnaise.” ---
**Author:** ![squidfood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@squidfood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squidfood)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/55 "2019-04-04T21:08:18Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > J. K. Simmons at the end of Burn After Reading: > > “Jesus, what a clusterfuck.” Oh, hehey now, that’s a great movie. The whole final scene just caps it: “I guess we learned not to do it again … I’ll be fucked if I know what we did.” ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/56 "2019-04-04T21:38:07Z")
“_You call this coffee?_” (Reno, the only bright spot in _Godzilla_.) ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2019, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/57 "2019-04-04T22:55:33Z")
This was just a look; no lines spoken. In **Six Days Seven Nights** - everyone back at the resort has found out that Harrison Ford and Anne Heche have crashed somewhere, and her fiancé David Schwimmer, some hotel PR guy and a pilot are flying around in a helicopter looking for them. The PR guy turns around and says something to David Schwimmer like “They’ve only been in the water for eight hours or so - there’s a good chance we’ll find them.” And as he turns back around he makes eye contact with the pilot, who gives him this hilarious look like he’s completely out of his mind for saying it. Best part of the movie, and it was from a silent extra. ---
**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2019, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/58 "2019-04-05T01:38:57Z")
" I reject your reality and substitute my own." from _The Dungeonmaster_ ---
**Author:** ![Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snake_Plissken_1)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2019, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/59 "2019-04-05T12:02:01Z")
…from 1957: “That’s what I’ve been talking about for 10 minutes! Get me my pants, will you, General?” ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2019, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810/60 "2019-04-06T16:48:55Z")
From _Snakes on a Plane_: “Enough is Enough! I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-line-in-a-crummy-movie/831810.md?page=2)