# great lines and quotes from people, bumper stickers and shirts **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2002, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208 "2002-04-01T15:33:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/1 "2002-04-01T15:33:22Z")
I started another one like this before the board went down and, of course, I lost it so let’s see if we can get some of the things we had back again. Mine: Your village called, their idiot is missing. 5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions. Everyone’s out to get me because I’m paranoid. I did NOT escape from an asylum, they gave me a day pass. I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas. Save a tree, eat a beaver. If the world didn’t suck we would all fall off. Save the planet, kill yourself. To save time, assume I know everything. “Drugs are bad for you. . .but they feel SO good going down!”~Brett Scallions from Fuel Ok so they aren’t the best. That’s why I’m counting on you guys. Post away!😃 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/2 "2002-04-01T15:37:21Z")
Nancy Leibowitz’ buttons have the most fabulous sayings onn them: [http://www.nancybuttons.com/catalog.cgi?action=browse&](http://www.nancybuttons.com/catalog.cgi?action=browse&) ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/3 "2002-04-01T16:18:32Z")
T-shirt “I killed Kenny.” My mom still can’t figure out why kids under 25 were calling me “You bastard!” as we walked through the Orlando airport. ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/4 "2002-04-01T17:42:03Z")
lol, that’s pretty funny. By the way you can also post lyrics. And on that jaundice moon that fills the sky Prepare the sacred ground And I wrestled with my angel And I pinned her to the ground Gloating at my prowess while I basked in her defeat I noticed Satan had her by the ankles And he held her down for me And my mind was jaded Hypocrisy Just keep believing that I’m so free ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/5 "2002-04-01T19:02:02Z")
as seen on my T-shirt: Jesus was in a Coma ---
**Author:** ![islandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@islandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/islandgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/6 "2002-04-01T20:03:28Z")
Asheigh Brilliant has a great series of “Pot Shots”–some are cheesy, but most are quirky and fun. [http://www.ashleighbrilliant.com/catalog.html](http://www.ashleighbrilliant.com/catalog.html) ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/7 "2002-04-01T20:16:55Z")
“If you marry for money, you’ll earn it at minimum wage” “Never pay over $50,000 for something that doesn’t have a basement under it.” Both from my grandfather. ---
**Author:** ![DarkWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@DarkWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkWriter)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/8 "2002-04-01T20:36:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gatopescado \* > \*\*as seen on my T-shirt: > > Jesus was in a Coma \*\* I MUST have that shirt. Where did you get it? Sheri ---
**Author:** ![WillGolfForFood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/82dd89/32.png) [@WillGolfForFood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WillGolfForFood)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/9 "2002-04-01T21:38:43Z")
Seen on a very tal person: No. Are you a jockey? ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/10 "2002-04-01T23:45:40Z")
I always liked this bumper sticker: “I said no to drugs, but the drugs didn’t listen.” This was the t-shirt for the English Department at a local college: “I had sex with Michael Focou and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.” ---
**Author:** ![Azargoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aeb1de/32.png) [@Azargoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azargoth)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/11 "2002-04-02T00:27:53Z")
“Support Cannibalism…Eat Me” “I’ve Found Jesus- He was in my trunk the whole time” “Dead Girls Don’t Say No!” (Just the thought of necrophilia freaks people out, myself included) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/12 "2002-04-02T02:57:12Z")
My favorite… ‘I like you, you remind me of when I was young and stupid.’ ---
**Author:** ![bigbird120](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@bigbird120](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bigbird120)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/13 "2002-04-02T03:28:55Z")
Elvis is ALive and Living in my Pants. Feel him. 25 cents. ---
**Author:** ![hillbillycavewoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bc8723/32.png) [@hillbillycavewoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hillbillycavewoman)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/14 "2002-04-02T08:47:45Z")
Friends Don’t let friends Drive naked. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/15 "2002-04-02T14:05:05Z")
On a t-shirt (for a bail-bond company): “Aaron Bonding: Where it’s always springtime!” On a button I bought over the weekend: “Sorry won’t bring back Johnny’s testicle.” On a bumper sticker: “Jesus is my co-pilot…and we’re cruising for pussy!” ---
**Author:** ![H8\_2\_W8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c77e96/32.png) [@H8\_2\_W8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H8_2_W8)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/16 "2002-04-02T14:49:31Z")
and her bumper sticker said: “Mean People Suck, but I Swallow” and that’s much better than the GratefulPhishhead types who just stop it at Mean People Suck. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/17 "2002-04-02T15:00:54Z")
Two bumper stickers I see every morning on my ride to work: “Back Off! I’m a Postal Worker!” “My kid beat up your honor roll student.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/18 "2002-04-02T15:53:59Z")
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies ---
**Author:** ![madcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@madcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madcat)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/19 "2002-04-02T16:06:05Z")
My sister has this on a plaque in her kitchen: “No woman ever shot a man while he was doing the dishes.” ---
**Author:** ![booklover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@booklover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/booklover)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208/20 "2002-04-02T17:44:27Z")
I saw this in a catalog the other day and just about died—perfect for Dopers: “Proud to be a 'merkin” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-and-quotes-from-people-bumper-stickers-and-shirts/101208.md?page=2)