# Great lines from bad movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 14, 2004, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396 "2004-09-14T12:12:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/1 "2004-09-14T12:12:11Z")
My favorite comes from _Freejack_, which stars Emilio Esteves as a race car driver yanked into the future to replace the body of some guy. Also it has Mick Jagger. > [@](#): > > You keep lookin’ at me like that, you’ll see me kill you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/2 "2004-09-14T16:14:28Z")
There was a Steven Seagal movie about a corrupt oil baron in Alaska that had Billy Bob Thorton (!) as a mercenary. The only good part of the movie was Thorton debating with himself (talking to his fellow guard) about whether to extend the stock of his submachine gun. “Should I extend the stock or leave it folded? Cause y’know it’s more practical to use when it’s extended…but it looks cooler folded.” His delivery had me laughing out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/3 "2004-09-14T16:49:32Z")
Give me the ROD!!! ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/4 "2004-09-14T18:17:58Z")
[Why does God need a starship?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=275927) ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/5 "2004-09-14T18:39:00Z")
“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum.” ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/6 "2004-09-14T18:45:15Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum.” Goddamnit. Seven minutes too late. Now I got nuthin’. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/7 "2004-09-14T18:59:14Z")
A real oldie, but one of the best, from the movie “Bombshell” (1933): Gifford Middleton: “Your hair is like a field of silver daisies. I’d love to run barefoot through your hair.” Cracks me up every time. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/8 "2004-09-14T19:07:23Z")
And of course we have the entire movie “Plan 9 From Outer Space”: Eros: “Because all you of Earth are idiots!” Policeman: “Your guess is as good as mine Larry. One thing’s sure, Inspector Clay’s dead, murdered, and somebody’s responsible.” Edwards: “For a time we tried to contact them by radio but no response. Then they attacked a town, a small town I’ll admit, but never the less a town of people, people who died.” Ruler: “Ah yes, Plan 9 deals with the resurrection of the dead. Long distance electrodes shot into the pineal pituitary glands of recent dead.” Paula: “Sometimes in the night when it does get a little lonely I reach over and touch it, then it doesn’t seem so lonely anymore.” ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/9 "2004-09-14T19:49:46Z")
_Plan 9_ also contained the immortal line from Criswell: “Future events will affect you in the future”. I thought _Passenger 57_ sucked, but I liked Wesley Snipes’ exchange with the terrorist: “Ever play roulette?” “Occasionally.” “Here’s a tip: _always_ bet on black.” ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/10 "2004-09-14T19:55:33Z")
Surf Ninja, while a crappy movie, had a bit I loved. In fact, probably the only 5 minutes of the movie worth watching. This noble from a fictional asian country, now under siege by leslie nelson with a half mask, is taking the two heirs to the throne and their white friend back to the country. They have landed, and the noble starts talking about special knives. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but ended with “Money can’t buy these knives” So the white guy began going off on this running commentary as they were walking throught he forest, saying “That makes sense, because money can’t buy knives. I remember when I went into knife store and said “Hey, can I buy this knife?” and he said “No, Money can’t buy knives”.” Eventually he gets the noble so pissed off that he tells him to shut up. _looks it up_ That was Rob Schiender!!! Now I feel dirty…but it was still rather funny. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/11 "2004-09-14T21:46:31Z")
From the mind-numbingly bad _Cobra_, when the wacko tells Stallone he’ll blow up the supermarket: “Go ahead. I don’t shop here.” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/12 "2004-09-14T21:57:15Z")
I have two favorite monologues, which I can spout at every opportunity, whether or not they are pertinent: Bela Lugosi, from **Bride of the Monster** : “Home . . . I haff no home. Honted . . . despised . . . liffing like an animal – the jongle is my home! But I vill show the vorld that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own rice of pipple – a rice of atomic supermen that vill _conquer the vorld!_” And Patty Duke, from **Valley of the Dolls** : “They say I’m difficult, they say I’m drunk, even when I’m not. Sure, I take dolls 'cause I’ve gotta get up at five o’clock in the morning and ‘Sparkle, Neely, sparkle!’ That psychiatrist says that I’m self destructive. So _what?_ What do I do about it? Well, the hell with all of 'em. Even the bad publicity helps when you get to be as big as I am!” ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/13 "2004-09-14T22:11:53Z")
In the horrible would-be comedic western, _Evil Roy Slade_ was this one funny exchange, Henchman, on lookout duty: “Someone’s comin’!’” Evil Roy Slade: “Shoot him!” Henchman: “It’s a woman” Evil Roy Slade: “Wound Her!” ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/14 "2004-09-14T22:46:17Z")
**iamthewalrus(:3= sprints into the thread.** \Kick ass… bubblegum!\ > [@zoid](#): > > “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum.” \*\*\*\*iamthewalrus(:3= **slinks away** ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/15 "2004-09-14T23:22:23Z")
Michael Ironsides, from the excrable Starship Troopers (with a perfectly straight face): “They sucked out his brain!” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2004, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/16 "2004-09-14T23:28:51Z")
> [@F. U. Shakespeare](#): > > _Plan 9_ also contained the immortal line from Criswell: “Future events will affect you in the future”. Actually, and much more amusingly, it was: “Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.” 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/17 "2004-09-15T03:24:39Z")
_Manos: Hands Of Fate_ Torgo: There is no way out of here. It will be dark soon. There is no way out of here. ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/18 "2004-09-15T03:42:04Z")
From the “so bad it was almost good” _Re-Animator_: _Who’s going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow_ \*Don’t expect it to tango, it has a broken back. \* ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2004, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/19 "2004-09-15T04:03:22Z")
UHF “Supplies!” ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/20 "2004-09-15T04:15:13Z")
My favorite is Telly Savalas’ line in _Train of Horror_, as a cossack captain on being asked “But what if the monk is innocent?”: “We’ve got _lots_ of innocent monks!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396.md?page=2)