# Great lines from bad movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 14, 2004, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396 "2004-09-14T12:12:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/41 "2004-09-16T13:29:31Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > In the horrible would-be comedic western, _Evil Roy Slade_ was this one funny exchange, > > Henchman, on lookout duty: “Someone’s comin’!’” > Evil Roy Slade: “Shoot him!” > Henchman: “It’s a woman” > Evil Roy Slade: “Wound Her!” (woman walks into room carrying whistling teapot; ERS freaks out and draws down on it) ERS: What’s that? Woman: A teapot. ERS: Pots that whistle? What’s next, teacups that _sing?_ ---
**Author:** ![Jenny\_Haniver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Jenny\_Haniver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenny_Haniver)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/42 "2004-09-16T14:21:46Z")
[“How many times do I have to say it? _Please don’t shoot at the **thermonuclear weapons** _!”](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115759/) ---
**Author:** ![RikWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/49beb7/32.png) [@RikWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RikWriter)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/43 "2004-09-16T14:49:58Z")
> [@NoPretentiousCodename](#): > > Some MuthaF\*\*\*\*rs are always trying to iceskate uphill. Hey now! Blade is NOT a bad movie! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/44 "2004-09-16T14:59:01Z")
Not a line but a scene, since there is no dialog. Spolier ahead, if anyone cares. The final scene of Battlefield Earth (wasn’t my idea to watch it, mind you) had Travolta’s character stranded in Fort Knox. He was after gold througout the entire movie and there he is surrounded by it! ---
**Author:** ![NoPretentiousCodename](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/82dd89/32.png) [@NoPretentiousCodename](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoPretentiousCodename)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/45 "2004-09-16T15:29:41Z")
> [@RikWriter](#): > > Hey now! Blade is NOT a bad movie! :mad: Wait… isn’t this the “Unbelievably bad quotes from otherwise good movies” thread. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/46 "2004-09-16T15:53:33Z")
_Deathstalker II_ Princess Evie : Oh, so you rob from the rich, and give to the poor? Deathstalker : No, I rob from the rich, and pretty much keep it for myself. * * * Guard : Just who do you think you’re talking to? Deathstalker : I don’t know…the village idiot and the two runners-up? * * * Deathstalker : You have to get up pretty early in the morning to catch up with the prince of thieves. (Thrown axe imbeds itself in a tree inches from Deathstalker’s head) Princess Evie : It IS early in the morning! Horrible, horrible movie. But the dialogue is a riot. For an added bonus, compare the Boris Vallejo-esque muscle bound hunk who appears on the poster with the actual guy playing the role. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/47 "2004-09-16T16:18:13Z")
Tia Carrara to Dolph Lungren in _Showdown in Little Tokyo_: “That time, I Heard you cumming.” There were also a couple of corny lines from Brandon Lee with regards to the size of Lungren’s dick, but I can’t remember them well enough to even quote them. Gerneral Urco (Ursas?) in _Beneath The Planet of The Apes_: “The only good human is a dead human”. James Franciscus’ facial expression in the following scene expressed a ‘what the hell am I doing here’ look of shock. The ‘here’ not being on a planet of apes - more like; this crappy sequel. Danny DeVito in _Ruthless People_: (Answering a phone call from a wrong #) “You wanna speak to who? Yeah she’s here, but she can’t talk to you now, she’s got my dick in her mouth” Yes, I consider Ruthless People a bad movie. And sorry, I find that line hysterical and to this day still use it on telemarketers who call my house looking for me. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/48 "2004-09-17T00:28:55Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#): > > My favorite is Telly Savalas’ line in _Train of Horror_, as a cossack captain on being asked “But what if the monk is innocent?”: > “We’ve got _lots_ of innocent monks!” You mean [Horror Express](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068713/combined)? I liked this exchange: > [@](#): > > Mirov : The two of you together. That’s fine. But what if one of you is the monster? > Dr. Wells : [aghast] Monster? We’re British, you know. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/49 "2004-09-16T22:47:43Z")
13 Ghosts, which had some truly amazing and eye popping special effects and makeup design yet was truly truly awful had a line that Ardred and I quote all the time. The alive ones are looking at some dusty old tome. Matthew Lillard’s character grabs the book impatiently because the others are too slow for him, looks for a second and then says “I can’t read _Latin_!”. Cracks us up. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/50 "2004-09-16T22:54:27Z")
I think the movie was “Off Limits”: Gregory Hines (disgustedly): You gonna eat that?? Willem Dafoe (sarcastically): No, I’m gonna fuck it. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/51 "2004-09-17T00:49:35Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > “I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum.” A true classic if there ever was one, of the cheeseball-but-still-somehow-cool variety. I actually saw that in the theater. I’m so proud. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2004, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/52 "2004-09-18T07:34:06Z")
Hmm… Rutger Hauer has some GREAT baaad movies out there. _Blind Fury_, a blind Samurai out on a revenge kick is trying to take down a crime syndicate… Which _ahem_ boasts a pair of henchmen who’s entire vocabulary consists of one going: “Shit!” The other responds with: “Fuck!” And then, together, they riposte: “Shit-fuck!” They even manage to go through this line when they get macked. :eek: Then there was _Split Second_ and when the newbie character finally meets the monster in the city’s sewers he has something of a nervous breakdown - after being administered Rutger Hauer’s character’s coping techniques he asks: “What do we do now?” “Now we get some big fucking guns.” “Hallelujah.” ---
**Author:** ![Rainbowthief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4bbf92/32.png) [@Rainbowthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rainbowthief)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2004, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/53 "2004-09-19T08:27:21Z")
From the scientist in **Robot Monster** , after his daughter is killed: “These things happen, but at least we enjoyed her while she was alive.” Dana Andrews in **Hot Rods to Hell** , after grabbing the steering wheel while his wife was driving and almost killing his whole family: “I had to do something, even if it was wrong.” ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2004, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396/54 "2004-09-19T10:44:15Z")
Rod Steiger’s worldly-wise-but-jaded priest to Arnold Schwarzenegger’s cynical-and-hard-bitten-but-stoically-persistent-ex-cop in End Of Days, as they enter a cellar full of demonic possessees levitating, speaking in tongues, exhibiting stigmata and otherwise demonstrating supernatural phemomena: “There are forces at work here you cannot possibly understand. Please leave now.” Words I have since striven to live by. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-bad-movies/264396.md?page=2)