# Great Lines from Old TV Shows **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 21, 2001, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-old-tv-shows/73310 "2001-07-21T07:32:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-old-tv-shows/73310/41 "2001-07-27T15:41:35Z")
Barney Miller was always good. One time, they had a guy in; he said, “Don’t I get a phone call??” the phone rings Yamana says “Maybe thats it now.” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2001, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-old-tv-shows/73310/42 "2001-07-28T06:47:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by neptune\_1984 \* > \*\*I have one from **Married…With Children** , one of the only good lines that I love: > > For whatever reason, horoscopes came up in the conversation. > Kelly: I’m an Aquarium! > Bud: And an empty one, too.\*\* I loved the story arc about Kelly going to modeling school. I was living in a dorm room, with a cheapass metal armoire next to the bed, against which I could bang my head without injury. Did a lot of headbanging when Kelly said things like, “Look at this ad! No skills necessary, no training, no reading [pronounced like Reading Railroad]…Oh, _reading_? Huh, where they gonna find anyone that dumb?” and “Maybe I could get one of those cool jobs standing in the store window!” ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2001, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-old-tv-shows/73310/43 "2001-07-28T07:00:37Z")
Jack Benny show. Jack’s on a cruise ship (Actually, this was all just a fantasy, but, y’know), being romanced some young starlet of the day (Can’t remember who for the life of me), and he’s rebuffing her advances (at first). Jack: But you’re 25 and I’m 39! Starlet: That’s not so much… Jack: Now…but by the time you’re 50, I’ll be…39! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2001, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-old-tv-shows/73310/44 "2001-07-28T13:02:48Z")
ALL IN THE FAMILY. Archie’s been arrested, and Mike & Gloria come to bail him out. The desk cop notices Mike’s last name Stivac, and says his folks were from the same country. Archie comes in, and says something ending “You’re not like this dumb Polack meathead son-in-law of mine.” Dead silence. The desk cop asks Archie to repeat it. He does. More dead silence. Finally Mike says: “Speak a little louder, Arch. Sargeant Polanski can’t hear you.” ---
**Author:** ![Warnas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b77776/32.png) [@Warnas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Warnas)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2001, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-old-tv-shows/73310/45 "2001-07-28T16:19:45Z")
This one is from Blackadder and therefore probably from writer Ben Elton. Queen Elizabeth (‘Queenie’): “I may have the body of a weak and feable woman. But I have the heart and stomach of a concrete elephant.” I mean, a concrete elephant… now THAT’S tough, right? Right? Well, I think it’s funny anyway… ---
**Author:** ![Medicinal\_Herb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@Medicinal\_Herb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medicinal_Herb)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-old-tv-shows/73310/46 "2001-07-28T18:26:02Z")
These are funny, because they MUST be taken out of context: From Bonanza- Little Joe: “I sure wish Hoss would get back here so I could get rid of some of this load.” From Star Trek The Next Generation- Worf: “Klingons do not allow themselves to be… _probed_.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-lines-from-old-tv-shows/73310.md?page=2)