Heavy metal band Manowar recorded a song called Guyana: Cult of the Damned which opened with the line:
“Thank you for the Kool-Aid, Reverend Jim!”
I always liked “Year of the Cat” by Al Stewart…
On a morning from a Bogart movie
In a country where they turn back time
You go strolling through the crowd like Peter Lorre
Contemplating a crime
“Convalescent” by dredg
“intolerance” by Tool
“4 degrees” by Tool
“Ideas as Opiates” by Tears For Fears
“untitled” by The Cure
“Well, I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison…”
Come on, it’s the best country western song ever written! By Steve Goodman, performed by David Allen Coe.
I’ve always liked the disarming simplicity of Peter Gabriel’s “Big Time”. It opens, even before the music starts, with an alarmingly cheerful “Hi there!”
The song is, as I’m sure most of you know, about a greedy, materialistic person trying to amass as much wealth as possible. He is selfish and gluttonous and vain, and Gabriel opens it all with the hallmark of such people: a phony, insincere acknowledgment of YOU.
Genius.
thwartme
Oooh, good one. How about this nugget from “Army” by Ben Folds Five:
Well, I thought about the army,
Dad said “Son, you’re fuckin’ high.”
Willy Nelson’s Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground
If you had not fallen
I would not have found you.
Jeff Buckley Lilac Wine
I lost myself on a cool damp night
I gave myself in that misty light
Was hypnotized by a strange delight
Under a lilac tree.
The Beatles With A Little Help From My Friends
What would you do if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Ryan Adams Where the Stars Go Blue
Dancing where the stars go blue,
Dancing where the evening fell
Dancing in your wooden shoes
In a wedding gown.
Wilco How to Fight Loneliness
How to fight loneliness,
Smile all the time.
Elliot Smith Say Yes
I’m in love with the world
through the eyes of a girl
who’s still around the morning after.
REM At My Most Beautiful
I found a way to make you,
I found a way,
A way to make you smile.
Everything you gave me lies within a box, within a drawer. I’ve burned one hundred photographs or more.
the tear garden, Lament
I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a Dope Beastie tee, nipple rings, new tattoos that claimed that he was OGT from '92, the first EP.
Tool, Hooker with a Penis
She’s a model and she’s looking good. I’d like to take her home, that’s understood.
Kraftwerk, The Model
"Drift all you like
From ocean to ocean
Search the whole world
But drunken confessions
And hijacked affairs will
Just make you more alone
If you come home
I’ll bake you a cake
Made of all their eyes
I wish you could see me
Dressed for the kill
What a nasty surprise
You’re my man-o-war"
Radiohead, Man-O-War
“It was Christmas Eve, babe,
In the drunk tank…”
- The Pogues, “Fairytale of New York”
“First get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect, and
Genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!”
- Tom Lehrer, “Vatican Rag”
“Is that supposed to be your poker face
Or was someone run over by a train?”
- Fountains of Wayne, “No Better Place”
That reminds me of Warsaw by Joy Division, sung in the same manner as that line:
ThreeFiveFourOneTwoFive GO!
At first blush it’s an awesome opening line, nearly marking the beginning of postpunk making fun of punk conventions. Then at some point you learn it’s also
The number of people who died in the Warsaw Uprising.
“One soft-infested summer, me and Terri became friends
Tryin’ in vain to breathe the fire we was… born in”
– Backstreets, by Bruce Springsteen
PS Not gramatically correct, but absolutely beautiful. 
Oooh, ooooh! Here’s mine:
"A man came up to me and said,
What’s your best song opening line?
I knew I had to pick something obscure,
So I’d look like a deep artist type.
I passed over the meaningful words, that people’d heard and knew,
Grabbed a stack of shitty college dorm tunes,
Picked out some melodramatic drivel!"
- Doper’s Masturbation, “I’m Meaningful, Cause I Don’t Like No Popular Music”
Moonlight drive - Doors
Let’s swim to the moon, uh huh
Let’s climb through the tide
Penetrate the evenin’ that the
City sleeps to hide
Let’s swim out tonight, love
It’s our turn to try
Parked beside the ocean
On our moonlight drive
“Wise Up, Sucker!”, Pop Will Eat Itself
Oh, just thought of another:
“Pleasure Seeker”, Social Distortion
Hoops already named Warren Zevon’s “Lawyers, Guns and Money,” which are probably my favorite opening lines period.
I like the opening part of Franz Ferdinand’s “Take Me Out,” though it’s kind of long:
So if you’re lonely, you know I’m here waiting for you
I’m just a cross-hair, I’m just a shot away from you
And if you leave here, you’ll leave me broken, shattered I lie
I’m just a cross-hair
I’m just a shot, then we can die
Another Paul Simon contribution, from Graceland:
**The Mississippi delta was shining like a National guitar.
I am following the river down the highway
through the cradle of the civil war.
I’m going to Graceland. . .**
I like all the lyrics to the song (“ghosts and empty sockets. . .”), but I think that opening is pretty special. This is what one type of National Guitar looks like, as a reference.
“The sidewalk bends where your house ends
like the neighborhood is on its knees…”
-Stupid mouth shut, by Hem
*The screen door slams
Mary’s dress waves
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singin’ for the lonely
Hey that’s me and I want you only
Don’t turn me home again
I just can’t face myself alone again*
"Thunder Road" - Springsteen
You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
Too much love drives a man insane
You broke my will
–But what a thrill!
Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!!!
**
“Great Balls of Fire”** - Jerry Lee Lewis