# Great Pathetic Songs. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 12, 2005, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487 "2005-05-12T00:54:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kaspar\_Hauser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b3f665/32.png) [@Kaspar\_Hauser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaspar_Hauser)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/21 "2005-05-12T18:48:07Z")
_Eleanor Rigby_ ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/22 "2005-05-12T18:59:07Z")
[“My Name is Mud”](http://www.lyricsfind.com/p/primus/pork-soda/my-name-is-mud.php) by Primus. The music complements the lyric to form a very pathetic figure. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/23 "2005-05-12T19:04:37Z")
**Kaspar Hauser.** Elanor Rigby. D’oh! Good call. How’d I miss that? Okay – another “good” loser song is Boyz II Men’s _End Of The Road_. I mean-- this is taken a little out of sequence, but – it’s about a guy whose wife/girlfriend cheats on him repeatedly, he knows but never does anything about it, she finally leaves his wimpy ass without saying goodbye – and he’s begging for her forgiveness! What a waste of a baritone voice. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/24 "2005-05-12T19:13:09Z")
**[Your Father and I](http://www.songlyrics4u.com/the-beautiful-south/your-father-and-i.html)** by The Beautiful South, a duet where a husband and wife explain to their child the circumstances of her conception and birth. Their accounts differ. Considerably. From the mother: > [@](#): > > Well your father was absent > He claimed he couldn’t find the ward > Just tugging on mescal > Trying to eat the umbilical cord > > So if anyone asks you > Do you know where you’re from, say yes > You’re from your mother’s womb > And your father’s stinking breath > And if they ask you how you got here > Tell them just what it took > Your father’s stinking breath > And your mother’s stinking luck ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/25 "2005-05-12T19:17:56Z")
**Long, Long Time** _“I’ve done everything I know to try and make you mine and I think it’s going to hurt me for a long, long time.”_ Can’t get too much more pathetic than _“living in the memory of a love that never was.”_ I don’t know who wrote it, but Linda Ronstadt sang the hell out of it. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/26 "2005-05-12T19:29:39Z")
The Most Beautiful Girl ( Charlie Rich ) Tell her, “I’m sorry.” Tell her, “I need my baby.” Oh… Won’t you tell her that I love her Particularly if you hear it as being sung by George Constanza. And then there’s [http://users.cis.net/sammy/charln.htm](http://users.cis.net/sammy/charln.htm) Pathetic on so many levels. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/27 "2005-05-12T19:36:36Z")
> [@Kaspar Hauser](#): > > _Eleanor Rigby_ Seconded. Probably the most pathetic song I ever heard was an old country tune called _Queen of the House_. (Same tune as _King of the Road_.) But country has so many that maybe it should be disqualified on principle. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/28 "2005-05-12T20:15:13Z")
I would consider “Eleanor Rigby” more of a dreary and depressing story as opposed to pathetic. However, that being the case I’ll mention **Paul Revere and the Raiders’ "Ballad of A Useless Man"** "All I got is 30 cents, gotta buy me a bottle of wine, it’ll take my mind off the food I need but it’ll make me think about dyin’ Funny thing is, that song is not some minor-key dirge. It has a snappy beat and yes it is good to dance to Mr Clark. 😃 Anyone ever hear this song? It is really quite good. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/29 "2005-05-12T20:26:33Z")
It Must Be Him, Vicki Carr. I was turned on to this one by Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs. Sample lyric: I tell myself don’t be a chump Who cares, let him stay away That’s when the phone rings and I jump And as I grab the phone I pray Let it please be him, oh dear God It must be him or I shall die Or I shall die Oh hello, hello my dear God It must be him but it’s not him And then I die That’s when I die Every time I hear this song I giggle madly throughout. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/30 "2005-05-12T21:14:52Z")
“Lovefool” by the Cardigans where the chorus includes nice, upbeat chorus lyrics like: Love me, love me Pretend that you love me Leave me, leave me Just say that you need me which is pretty darn pathetic. Or “So In Love,” written by Cole Porter, So taunt me, and hurt me, Decieve me, desert me, ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/31 "2005-05-12T21:17:01Z")
> [@Murcielago](#): > > [“My Name is Mud”](http://www.lyricsfind.com/p/primus/pork-soda/my-name-is-mud.php) by Primus. The music complements the lyric to form a very pathetic figure. I disagree. The titular character of the song might seem pathetic at the beginning but he quickly crosses the line into creepy and menacing. A lot of characters in Bruce Springsteen’s songs might be considered pathetic. His **Nebraska** album seems to be full of them (e.g., [“Atlantic City”](http://www.songlyrics4u.com/bruce-springsteen/atlantic-city.html)). Also, the couple in “Brick” by Ben Folds Five are pretty pathetic. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/32 "2005-05-12T21:29:42Z")
“Running Scared” by Roy Orbison I think it’s a great song by one of the all time great artists. But not a lot of confidence. Just runnin’ scared each place we go So afraid that he might show Yeah, runnin’ scared, what would I do If he came back and wanted you ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/33 "2005-05-12T21:31:46Z")
**Hello In There** , by John Prine “We had an apartment in the city, Me and Loretta liked living there. Well, it’d been years since the kids had grown, A life of their own left us alone. John and Linda live in Omaha, And Joe is somewhere on the road. We lost Davy in the Korean war, And I still don’t know what for, don’t matter anymore.” Whew. ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/34 "2005-05-12T21:37:49Z")
What about “Every Breath You Take” by the Police? How about other Police songs: “Roxanne” is a love song about a prostitute. “Don’t Stand so Close to Me” is about a teacher attracted to one of his students. It’s obvious that Sting has issues. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/35 "2005-05-12T21:45:13Z")
I can’t, I can’t I can’t stand losin’ I can’t, I can’t I can’t stand losin’ I can’t, I can’t I can’t stand losin’ you Another early Police song which has lines about his exGF giving him all his records, but they are scratched, the brother is gonna kill him (he’s six feet ten), etc… ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/36 "2005-05-12T21:49:03Z")
[(In deference to Truck)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=316071) “ **Missing** ” by Everything But The Girl - Which can only be defined as pathetic emptiness that leads to stalking somone who’s moved away [quote] [ul][li]I’m walking down your street again[_]I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain[_]I look up at your house and I can almost hear you shout down to me[_]Can I confess I’ve been hanging around your old address?[_]You’re long gone but I can’t move on[/ul][/li][/quote] ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/37 "2005-05-12T21:59:38Z")
10cc’s **Godley & Creme** : ‘_Cry_’ [quote] [ol][li]You don’t know how to ease my pain[_]That’s the sound of my love dying[_]It’s the sound of my tears falling Or is it the rain?[_]You don’t know how to play the game and you cheat and you lie[_]You make me want to CRY![/ol][/li][/quote] Just makes the listener say, ‘Get a hanky and a life’ ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/38 "2005-05-12T22:13:03Z")
I was gonna mention “just about every Police song”. It’s almost harder to find songs by them that aren’t pathetic than those that are, especially if they tell a story. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/39 "2005-05-12T22:47:11Z")
I think the Smoking Pope’s [Pretty Pathetic](http://www.smokingpopes.net/lyricsright.htm#pathetic) pretty much says it all. Even in the title. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487/40 "2005-05-12T23:10:17Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > _Alone Again Naturally_ by **Gilbert O’Sullivan** > > and just about any pre-disco **Bee Gees** song. That’s the one I was trying to think of. Whenever I hear I think **LOSER**! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-pathetic-songs/303487.md?page=3)