# great phrases or words on t-shirts **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 26, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397 "2001-11-26T23:59:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/1 "2001-11-26T23:59:55Z")
3 of my favorite t-shirts say: 1. Everyone is out to get me because I’m paranoid. 2. 5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions. 3. I hear voices in my head and they don’t like you. Any other humorous ones you would like to share? ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Earthworm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/2 "2001-11-27T00:09:18Z")
My former roommate had a shirt that simply said, “Fu_k you, you fu_king fu\*k!” (unedited on the t-shirt) Wore it to the bar every weekend. A true classic. -Syko ---
**Author:** ![Shyabrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b487fb/32.png) [@Shyabrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shyabrick)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/3 "2001-11-27T00:14:25Z")
Let go of my ears, I know what I’m doing! ---
**Author:** ![keeper0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@keeper0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keeper0)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/4 "2001-11-27T00:18:32Z")
(On a shirt by Adidanikeebok…) “I’ve never lost. I was just a bit behind when time ran out.” ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/5 "2001-11-27T00:19:11Z")
“I’m going nucking futs!” “Do you have change for a paradigm?” “Eschew obfuscation” ---
**Author:** ![Genseric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Genseric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genseric)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/6 "2001-11-27T00:24:51Z")
Machine wash warm with like colors. Kills me every time. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/7 "2001-11-27T00:24:57Z")
“Stop staring at my tits” ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/8 "2001-11-27T00:29:33Z")
A few of my favorites (okay more than a few) [ul] [li]Jesus loves you, it’s the rest of us that think you’re an asshole[/li][li]Friends help you move, real friends help you move bodies[/li][li]Do I look like a f\*cking people person?[/li][li]Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kell them[/li][li]Remember my name, you’ll be screaming it later[/li][li]I said no to drugs but they wouldn’t listen[/li][li]Someone pissed in your gene pool[/li][li]I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to do[/li][li]I’m from the government, I am here to help you[/li][li]Jesus is coming, everyone look busy![/li][li]You’d look better with duct tape over your mouth[/li][li]BEWARE: Stupid people are breeding[/li][li]Your village called, their idiot is missing[/li][li]How can I be so thirsty this morning when I drank so much last night?[/li][li]Finish your beers. (There’s sober people in China)[/li][li]Don’t make me violate my parole[/li][li]I’m trying to see things from your point of view, but I can’t stick my head that far up my ass![/li][/ul] I have more but those are good ones – too bad I am too chicken to buy such a shirt. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/9 "2001-11-27T00:33:53Z")
I saw one in a catalog that I really would have loved to get for my kids: “Raised by Wolves” ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/10 "2001-11-27T00:50:39Z")
“Just be glad I’m not your kid” “I’m not laughing with you; I’m laughing _at_ you” ---
**Author:** ![south333](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f9b8f/32.png) [@south333](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/south333)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/11 "2001-11-27T00:51:11Z")
My friend has a shirt that says in really small letters in the upper corner “You’re so F\*cking nosy” ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/12 "2001-11-27T00:57:58Z")
Bite Me. (My DopeFest shirt) I am with the Bomb Squad. If you see me running, try to keep up. ---
**Author:** ![BalmainBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@BalmainBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BalmainBoy)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/13 "2001-11-27T01:02:12Z")
I raised $40 million in dot com venture capital and all I have left is this lousy T-shirt. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_A\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@Just\_A\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_A_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/14 "2001-11-27T01:27:25Z")
I went to a music festival held by the local alternative station in Atlanta right after the September 11 incident. At the concert, someone was selling black t shirts that said simply in large white letters: ``` F*CK TERRORISM ``` Thought that was pretty awesome. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/15 "2001-11-27T01:34:19Z")
My favorite was “I’m going to kick your ass and get away with it” right below a picture of a smiling police officer. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/16 "2001-11-27T01:40:32Z")
My absolute favorites that I have worn completely out: “I am the woman your mother warned you about.” I have to get another one of those. “Save a horse. Ride a cowboy.” On one of my “Nice People Swallow” shirts, a friend made the happy faces all have little vampire fangs. “Witness Protection Program.” (on the back) “I wasn’t here.” “FUGITIVE (I wasn’t here)” ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/17 "2001-11-27T01:58:27Z")
Every so often, Bob Levey of the Washington Post newspaper has a column which lists several of the t-shirt sayings that I have seen here, sent in by readers. So check out his column in the Style section. I’m not sure when he’s going to run this list again. I’ll have to remember to check where I put those lists. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/18 "2001-11-27T02:20:19Z")
My Negativland t-shirt: Copyright infringement is your best entertainment value. Have to get a new one of those. ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/19 "2001-11-27T02:31:24Z")
On the back of a big motercycler’s t-shirt: “If you can read this the bitch fell off.” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2001, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397/20 "2001-11-27T02:36:17Z")
“I’m having a bad scalp day” (I’m losing my hair faster than I’m going gray) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-phrases-or-words-on-t-shirts/95397.md?page=2)