# Great political putdowns/zingers **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2007, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861 "2007-11-01T13:33:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/21 "2007-11-02T19:15:36Z")
“Winston [Churchill] would skin his own mother to make a drum to pound his praises.” - attrib. to David Lloyd George “Neville Chamberlain looked at foreign policy through the wrong end of a municipal drainpipe.” - Churchill “Mr. Coolidge, I made a bet that I’d get you to say more than two words at dinner tonight.” “You lose.” - A society matron and Calvin Coolidge “Everyone likes flattery, and when speaking to royalty you should lay it on with a trowel.” - Disraeli “A second-class intellect but a first-class temperament.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr., on FDR “If Gen. McClellan isn’t using the Army of the Potomac, I’d like to borrow it for awhile.” - Lincoln “A city of Northern charm and Southern efficiency.” - JFK, describing Washington, D.C. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/22 "2007-11-02T19:42:16Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] [“Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-7gpgXNWYI) - Lloyd Bensen to Dan Quayle [/QUOTE] One I always wanted to see, when GWB was comparing himself to George Washington: “Senator, I served with George Washington. I knew George Washington. George Washington was a friend of mine. Governor, you’re no George Washington.” -Strom Thurmond to GW Bush. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/23 "2007-11-02T19:50:39Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] [“Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy. I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you’re no Jack Kennedy.”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-7gpgXNWYI) - Lloyd Bensen to Dan Quayle [/QUOTE] It would have been inappropriate, but I wish he had responded with “That’s true. I married my Marilyn.” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/24 "2007-11-02T20:02:20Z")
Senator McCain, at the debate, commenting on the $1 million earmark for Woodstock; “Now my friends, I wasn’t there. I’m sure it was a cultural and pharmaceutical event. I was tied up at the time.” ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/25 "2007-11-02T22:28:05Z")
This isn’t really a putdown, but it is one of my favorite quotes about politics. It comes from _Beyond the Fringe_. Jonathan Miller is explaining the American political system to Dudley Moore: JONATHAN: [The Americans] have inherited our two-party system. DUDLEY: How does that work? JONATHAN: Well, they have the Republican Party, which is the equivalent of our Conservative Party, and they have the Democratic Party, which is the equivalent of our Conservative Party. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/26 "2007-11-02T23:20:41Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] I can’t remember who said it and I’m paraphrasing, but I remember one politician quipping something to the effect of: if he ever managed to walk on water, the headlines in his local newspaper would say “[Mr. Politican] can’t swim!” the next day. [/QUOTE] Jesse Jackson used that during an appearance on _Saturday Night Live_, but I don’t think it was original to him. ---
**Author:** ![bigstinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@bigstinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bigstinger)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/27 "2007-11-02T23:29:16Z")
Ron Paul “One thing is clear:The Founding Fathers never intended a nation where citizens pay nearly half of what the earn to the government.” 7/17/01 ---
**Author:** ![bigstinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@bigstinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bigstinger)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/28 "2007-11-02T23:33:32Z")
Ron Paul " No matter how well intended, an authoritarian government always abuses it’s powers." ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2007, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/29 "2007-11-02T23:57:57Z")
On 19th century British Prime Minister William Gladstone: “If he were soaked in boiling water and rinsed until he twisted into rope, I do not suppose a drop of fun would ooze out.” Hon. Emily Eden “I do not object to Gladstone’s always having the ace of trumps up his sleeve, but only to his pretence that God has put it there.” Henry Labouchere ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/30 "2007-11-03T00:24:55Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] “Egad, sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of some loathsome disease.” “That will depend, milord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.” - The Earl of Sandwich and John Wilkes [/quote] This one is misattributed. It was Samuel Foote, English playwright. [sub]I know, pedantic…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/31 "2007-11-03T00:50:19Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > “If you’re not a liberal when you’re 25, you have no heart. If you’re not a conservative by the time you’re 35, you have no brain.” – One of several witticisms apparently misattributed to Winston Churchill Not to mention that “liberal” and “conservative” mean different things on that side of the pond from this one, anyway. > [@Sampiro](#): > > Her husband, Nicholas, was viewed as one of the sharpest senators on the Hill. He was also a notorious womanizer. Once, one of his arch-rivals entered a room where Longworth was seated, rubbed his hand on Longworth’s bald head, and said “Your head feels like my wife’s ass.” Longworth rubbed his own head and said “Yeah… about the same at that.” Reminds me of the time I used a rather juvenile “yo mama” type joke in boot camp, and my subject responded angrily, “You don’t know my mama!” To which I replied, “Well, I would recognize her by her scalp.” > [@bigstinger](#): > > Ron Paul “One thing is clear:The Founding Fathers never intended a nation where citizens pay nearly half of what the earn to the government.” 7/17/01 > > Ron Paul " No matter how well intended, an authoritarian government always abuses it’s powers." Zingers? Really? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/32 "2007-11-03T01:56:08Z")
[QUOTE=samclem] This one is misattributed. It was Samuel Foote, English playwright. [sub]I know, pedantic…[/sub] [/QUOTE] I believe, my dear sir, that you are mistaken. I knew it (paraphrased) from memory, but just confirmed it by consulting _Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations, 15th Ed._ (Little, Brown and Co., 1980), p. 368, and _The Oxford Dictionary of Political Quotations_ (Oxford Univ. Press, 1996), p. 389. Both attribute it to Sir Charles Petrie, _The Four Georges_ (1935); the Oxford book calls it “probably apocryphal.” ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/33 "2007-11-03T02:54:42Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] I believe, my dear sir, that you are mistaken. I knew it (paraphrased) from memory, but just confirmed it by consulting _Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations, 15th Ed._ (Little, Brown and Co., 1980), p. 368, and _The Oxford Dictionary of Political Quotations_ (Oxford Univ. Press, 1996), p. 389. Both attribute it to Sir Charles Petrie, _The Four Georges_ (1935); the Oxford book calls it “probably apocryphal.” [/QUOTE] Ah, Sir. You do not have the benefit of Fred Shapiro’s recent tome, _The Yale Book of Quotations_, which is the best researched quotation dictionary out there. While that quote was only attributed to Wilkes in 1935, the quote was attributed to Foote by one Percival Stockdale in his _The Memoirs of the LIfe and Writings of Percival Stockdale_(1809). It was quoted there as “Foote, I have often wondered what catastrophe would bring you to your end; but I think, that you must either die of the p-x, or the halter.”–“My lord,”(replied Foote instantaneously] “that will depend upon one of two contingencies;–whether I embrace your lordship’s mistress or your lordship’s principles.” I’ll take the cite closer to the time frame. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/34 "2007-11-03T05:50:45Z")
The hell you say, sir! 'Tis the first time I’ve ever heard that quotation so attributed. This Shapiro fellow is clearly a knave and a mountebank, and I daresay ill-informed as well. Away with him! ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/35 "2007-11-03T06:46:31Z")
Disputed, but generally attributed to Australian Labor Party Prime Minister Gough Whitlam, in response to a (conservative) Country Party member’s, “I’m a Country member!”… “Yes, I remember.” ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/36 "2007-11-03T09:32:19Z")
Sort of political. Margot Asquith to Jean Harlow who had mispronounced her name: “The T is silent, as in Harlow” (Her husband was Prime Minister of the UK) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/37 "2007-11-03T10:36:54Z")
[“Do you, Ambassador Zorin, deny that the U.S.S.R. has placed and is placing medium- and intermediate-range missiles and sites in Cuba?.. Don’t wait for the translation! Yes or no?” Adlai Stevenson](http://library.thinkquest.org/11046/people/a_stevenson.html) In watching Colin Powell testify before the UN about the “threat” Iraq posed the world, I couldn’t help but think, “Mr. Powell, you’re no Adlai Stevenson.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/38 "2007-11-03T11:06:30Z")
> [@](#): > > It would have been inappropriate, but I wish he had responded with “That’s true. I married my Marilyn.” It wouldn’t have worked. Quayle had just been saying he was like Kennedy. So knocking Kennedy would have ricocheted back on him. Besides, people like Kennedy - even a Republican like Quayle wanted to borrow his popularity - so insulting his memory would have been a losing strategy. The way Quayle should have handled the remark would have been to toss out a Kennedyesque quip. His inability to come up with anything better than “That was really uncalled for, Senator” showed that Bentsen was right. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/39 "2007-11-03T11:08:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Disputed, but generally attributed to Australian Labor Party Prime Minister Gough Whitlam, in response to a (conservative) Country Party member’s, “I’m a Country member!”… > > “Yes, I remember.” Maybe it’s an Australian thing but I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2007, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861/40 "2007-11-03T11:48:28Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] “An empty cab pulled up to the House of Commons and Stanley Baldwin got out.” - Winston Churchill [/quote] I believe it was Clement Attlee who emerged from the empty cab. It should be pointed out that Churchill always denied making any such remark. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-political-putdowns-zingers/424861.md?page=3)