# Great quotes...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 8, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047 "2001-01-08T20:38:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/21 "2001-01-09T05:41:06Z")

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“Rasa is the sane one.”

Said by **Doobieous** about whether or not **oldscratch** and I were the same person.

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**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/22 "2001-01-09T05:56:44Z")

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Here’s a sampling from my collection of quotations.

“Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.”  
– W. H. Auden

“Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.”  
– Charles Schultz, “Peanuts”

“The education of females has been exclusively directed to fit them for displaying to advantage the charms of youth and beauty. . . . though well to decorate the blossom, it is far better to prepare for the harvest.”  
– Emma Hart Willard

“It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.”  
– Agatha Christie

“Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.”  
– A. A. Milne

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”  
– Pericles

“Never explain – your Friends do not need it and your Enemies will not believe you anyway.”  
– Elbert Hubbard

“Great dancers are not great because of their technique; they’re great because of their passion.”  
– Martha Graham

“Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours.”  
– Ludwig van Beethoven

“No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.”  
– Aristotle

“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”  
– Oscar Wilde

“Every exit is an entry somewhere.”  
– Tom Stoppard

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**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/23 "2001-01-09T06:00:22Z")

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SuperNelson already mentioned one of my favorites (the Franklin quote). Here’s one I kept on my wall at work for a long time:

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight effciently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

- Robt. A. Heinlein, _Time Enough for Love_

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**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/24 "2001-01-09T06:06:13Z")

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I’d post mine, but half of them I got from **Serendipity**. 😉

However, I do like;

“If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid.” -Unknown

“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.” -Unknown

“It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.” - Albert Einstein

“If there is a nonessential phrase, you stick it in commas. Commas are the garbage bags of grammar.” -Unknown  
Just a random few that popped into my head. Plus there’s always my sig.

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**Author:** ![Chocobo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Chocobo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chocobo)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/25 "2001-01-09T06:38:26Z")

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Sometimes I think the surest sign there’s intelligent life elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. - Calvin

Childhood is short, maturity is forever. -Calvin

So basically, this maverick is urging everyone to express his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection? -Hobbes

Yes, I read a lot of Calvin and Hobbes.

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**Author:** ![Emperor\_Penguin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@Emperor\_Penguin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emperor_Penguin)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/26 "2001-01-09T10:10:07Z")

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Cliff? What Cli…  
- Anon.  
If the women don’t find you handsome, the should at least find you handy.  
- Red Green  
You know, Hobbes, sometimes even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help  
-Calvin

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**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/27 "2001-01-09T12:33:16Z")

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Indecision is the key to flexibility. (Unknown)

I used to know everything, till everything changed. Sgt Phil Girvan (nobody famous - just a good friend of mine)

If it can’t be measured, it’s not science - it’s opinion. (Dunno about this one either, but it’s hanging over my desk)  
My all-time favorite:  
\*\*“For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.” Richard Feynman: Appendix to the Rogers Commission Report on the Space Shuttle Challenger Accident \*\*

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**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/28 "2001-01-09T15:10:39Z")

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“We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl.” – Pink Floyd

“Without ice cream, there would be darkness and chaos.” --Don Kardong

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**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/29 "2001-01-09T15:40:22Z")

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It is easier to attract flies with sugar than with vinegar. - Dad

Sometimes it is better to obtain forgiveness than permission. - Dad

Every unreasonable regulation can be overcome with creative planning. - Dad

Keep your head down and flak jacket closed. - Dad

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel. - Arabic proverb

A good plan executed now is better than a perfect plan too late. - Unk

Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. - Unk

Retreat, Hell! We just got here! - Some WWII General (Patton???)

Anything you do in combat can get you killed, including nothing. - Duncan (Dunk’s Almanac)

Tracers work both ways. - Ibid

I give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they don’t deserve it anymore. - Me

Never turn down free food, free beer, free money, or free sex. - Me

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**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/30 "2001-01-09T15:55:29Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \*  
> If it can’t be measured, it’s not science - it’s opinion. (Dunno about this one either, but it’s hanging over my desk)

I attribute this one to Robert Heinlein, also from _Time Enough for Love_–just like my favorite, which Max Torque has already posted. I use lots of quotes (hazard of a quirky memory). Here are some more favorites from Heinlein:

“You can have peace, or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at once.”

_“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.”_

“To best enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.”

_“Anything free is worth what you pay for it.”_

“The correct way to punctuate a sentence that begins with ‘of course it is none of my business, but’ is to place a period after the word ‘but’.”

“Always listen to experts. They’ll tell you what can’t be done, and why. Then do it.”

“There is no conclusive evidence of life after death. But there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will _know_. So why fret about it?”

(The italics designate the ones I use most often in conversation.)

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**Author:** ![puddleglum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puddleglum/32/137_2.png) [@puddleglum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puddleglum)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/31 "2001-01-09T15:56:20Z")

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You can’t change anyone but yourself- William Glasser (I think)

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**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/32 "2001-01-09T16:01:54Z")

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“The universe doesn’t give first warnings or second chances” unknown

Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to  
live, taking the form of readiness to die. - G.K. Chesterton

It is a fearful thing to love what death can touch. unknown  
Do not hit at all if it can be avoided, but never hit softly. - Theodore  
Roosevelt

“A man said to the Universe, ‘Sir, I exist.’ The Universe  
replied, ‘That fact, however, has not created in me a sense  
of obligation.’” -Stephen Crane, 1871-1900  
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to take root in the world is  
for enough good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke

Believe me! The secret of reaping the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest  
enjoyment from life is to live dangerously! - Nietzsche

You don’t win a war by dying for your country. You win a war by making the  
other son-of-a-bitch die for his. - General Patton

You never lose by loving, you always lose by holding back. unknown

A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no  
roses. unknown

“We cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over our heads, but we  
can refuse to let them build nests in our hair.”  
– Chinese proverb

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**Author:** ![JTR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee59a6/32.png) [@JTR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JTR)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/33 "2001-01-09T17:15:24Z")

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I am a human being, and I consider nothing to do with humanity to be outside my province. (Homo sum et nihil humanum est alienum a me puto.)

- The Roman playwright Terence

I’m the one that’s gonna die when it’s time for me to die  
So let me live my life the way I want to.

- Jimi Hendrix (_If 6 was 9_)

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**Author:** ![Oicu812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f475e1/32.png) [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/34 "2001-01-09T17:43:02Z")

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I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and read a good book.–Groucho Marx

Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet! --Groucho Marx (again)

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. --Groucho (3rd)

A woman drove me to drink, and I’ll be a son-of-a-gun but I never even wrote to thank her! --W.C. Fields.

I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.–W.C. Fields.

O

* * *

vidi vici veni!

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**Author:** ![Scupper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Scupper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scupper)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/35 "2001-01-09T20:25:36Z")

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“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player  
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,  
And then is heard no more; it is a tale  
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,  
Signifying nothing.” - Shakespeare, _Macbeth_

“The evil that men do lives on after them,  
But the good is oft interred with their bones.” - Shakespeare, _Julius Ceasar_

“I have a dream that little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Did they get you to trade  
A Walk on Part in a War  
For a Lead Role in a Cage?” - Pink Floyd, _Wish You Were Here_

“Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 19,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps only weigh 1.5 tons.” - _Popular Mechanics,_ March 1949

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**Author:** ![idiotboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@idiotboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiotboy)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/36 "2001-01-09T20:53:40Z")

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“Health is over-rated…it is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.” - Albert Einstein

“Never stick your head in anything that has “head remover” written on it” - Anon

“There is nothing more over-rated than a bad fuck or more under-rated than a good shit.” - Mark Twain (I think…it was possibly altered)

“Don’t shit in the urinal” - Scrawled in a bar bathroom

“If a Rottweiler starts humping your leg, fake an orgasm.” - Anon

And of course, there’s my sig…

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**Author:** ![Dr.Pinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dr.Pinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Pinky)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/37 "2001-01-09T21:36:59Z")

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The genes load the gun, but the environment pulls the trigger.

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**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/38 "2001-01-09T21:46:19Z")

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“Dreams die hard and we hold them in our hands long after they have turned to dust” -Bowen from Dragonheart

“Of course I’m sure. Do you think I could fuck up this bad if I wasn’t sure?”

“Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.”

“I long for death, but I do fear it.” -Draco from Dragonheart

“Your world is falling apart but look beyond the borders and there is a whole new world to explore.”

“Normalcy is relative” - Me!

I have more I like but I don’t have my book with me where I write them down… oh yah also this one

“Life is an exotic and sonorous nightmare in which reason does not always play a role.” -Exerpted from V:tM

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**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\
**Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/39 "2001-01-10T00:14:27Z")

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“Wisdom has two parts: 1) Having a lot to say, and 2) not saying it.” -wrapper of Dove chocolate

“This sentence is false.” -Epimenides

“There is a theory that if anyone were to figure out exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it would instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.” -Douglas Adams

“This is not here.” -sign in Hard Rock Cafe NY

More later . . .

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**Author:** ![SuperNelson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@SuperNelson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNelson)\
**Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-quotes/49047/40 "2001-01-10T00:38:28Z")

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I’ll raise you one Heinlein quote:

“Man is not a rational animal; Man is a \*rationalizing \* animal.”

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