# Great TV moments that should have been but never were **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 4, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967 "2002-09-04T15:45:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/22 "2002-09-05T01:19:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Swede Hollow \* > \*\* Wouldn’t these lead to a **My Mother The Car** sequel? > > How about **The Dick Van Dyke Show** where Rob sues the ottoman manufacturer and he and Laura move to a Caribean paradise. \*\* Ouch. Rimshot. But seriously folks. Swede will be here all week. Try the veal and don’t forget to tip the waitress, but don’t tip her too far, or she’ll lose her balance. Oh, yeah. The one where they send Dr. Smith out the airlock without a spacesuit. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/23 "2002-09-05T01:21:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \* > **Fred & Barney & Wilma & Betty meet Ralph & Norton & Alice and Trixie.** Fred & Barney & Wilma & Betty meet Ralph & Norton & Alice and Trixie meet Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/24 "2002-09-05T03:09:27Z")
Another episode of MASH. Hawkeye is charged with disrespect of a superior officer and is found guilty. B.J. gets a letter from his wife saying she wants a divorce, she fell for the gutter salesman. Klinger gets his section 8. Hotlips picks up a case of VD from an old friend. and finally Potter suffers a fatal heart attack while getting his first hummer from Rosie. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/25 "2002-09-05T05:24:14Z")
“Well, we’ve been on this island for a long time now, so… Gimme a smooch, little buddy?” ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/26 "2002-09-05T05:25:32Z")
“Perhaps we would have more power if Engineer Scott connected your mouth to a generator, Doctor.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/27 "2002-09-05T05:56:26Z")
The Coyote settles down to a meal of roast Roadrunner. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/28 "2002-09-05T05:57:39Z")
The Coyote settles down to a meal of roast Roadrunner. Shocking twist: he finds out he’s deathly allergic to it. ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/29 "2002-09-05T09:51:15Z")
The last episode of “The Time Tunnel”: Doug and Tony finally step out of that damn Tunnel, uproarious cheers break out among the Tunnel staff, and while the camera pulls back to an overhead shot, D&T are gladhanded by Gen. Kirk and they both hug Dr. Ann McGregor while the complex fills with more and more people… fade to black. Dang it, Irwin Allen! How much trouble would it have been to film that scene? ---
**Author:** ![Hoops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoops/32/6408_2.png) [@Hoops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoops)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/30 "2002-09-05T09:54:27Z")
The Beatles accept Lorne Michaels’ offer to reunite (for $3000) on SNL on 4/24/76. ---
**Author:** ![Genseric](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Genseric](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genseric)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/31 "2002-09-05T11:08:52Z")
The Hogan Family and the 5 Megaton airburst. – “Crikey! That’s one ugly son-of-a-bitch, I’m not goin’ near 'im!” – Cheers needed a few drunken brawls here and there. – “Hi. I’m David Hasslehoff. I will no longer be appearing on Baywatch, as the entire hour will now feature the girls running down the beach in slow-motion. Enjoy.” ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/32 "2002-09-05T12:42:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zev\_steinhardt \* > **The Prisoner wakes up to find out that he’s Bob Newhart’s patient.** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/33 "2002-09-05T13:01:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hoops \* > \*\*The Beatles accept Lorne Michaels’ offer to reunite (for $3000) on SNL on 4/24/76. \*\* Crap! My first thought on reading this was “Well, they only get $1500 now.” Since I’m offending people anyway, I’ll mention I’ve written a \*\* Simpsons \*\* script where Cecil & Bob Terwilliger have an appoinment in the World Trade Center at 9:00 on 9/11. They are outside the building when the first plane hits, and Bob goes into a tirade as only he can. Well, I think it’s good, and also fitting cause Fraiser creater David Angell was on that plane. I also want to see a \*\* Fraiser \*\* where Martin is watching the Simpsons with Cecil & Bob in it. Have Niles say “You know, you’re right. If anyone asks, I’ll lie” the same time as Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![Oblong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c0e974/32.png) [@Oblong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblong)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/34 "2002-09-05T13:45:06Z")
The Sopranos-Meadow, after having a huge fight with her dad, gets back at him by auditioning at The Bada Bing and then sleeping with his Russian girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/35 "2002-09-05T18:51:42Z")
Marsha wakes up to find Jan sitting on her chest holding a kitchen knife to her throat. Lassie goes to get help but has to stop and pee on every tree on the way. Gentle Ben eats the little boy. Ralph and Potsie testify against Richie in the Un-American Activities hearings. They realize that eight is way too much so a lion escapes from to zoo to do a thinning of the herd. Julie, Issac and Gopher threesome. Sombody goes to Fantasy Island with the fantasy of having sex with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and it works exactly how the guy imagined it. Jo (facts of life) takes a long hot shower. Zebra goes on Millionaire and wins. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/36 "2002-09-05T19:16:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Oblong \* > The Sopranos-Meadow, after having a huge fight with her dad, gets back at him by auditioning at The Bada Bing and then sleeping with his Russian girlfriend. Woohoo! **Pay-per-view!** ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/37 "2002-09-06T00:18:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hoops \* > \*\*The Beatles accept Lorne Michaels’ offer to reunite (for $3000) on SNL on 4/24/76. \*\* That sooooo almost happened. Paul McCartney said in an interview and John was in town that night, and when they saw the offer, John said, “Let’s do it!” They changed their minds while trying to find a taxi. Saturday night in New York, you know. ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/38 "2002-09-06T00:21:38Z")
In St. Elsewhere, there was a cranky character named Mrs. Hufnagle who appeared fairly regularly over a couple of seasons, until the character died at the hospital. In a later show, Dr. Fiscus goes to “heaven”, where he meets a number former patients who had died at St. Eligius, and aren’t real happy about it. Mrs. Hufnagle would have been the perfect character to be included in this episode, unfortunately the actress who played her, Florance Halop, died in real life before the show was made. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/39 "2002-09-06T00:27:43Z")
Sanford & Son: Fred ACTUALLY has “the big one” when he finds out Elizabeth isn’t dead, but has been shacking up with Grady. ---
**Author:** ![dinahmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dinahmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinahmoe)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/40 "2002-09-06T00:34:35Z")
“Screw these happy little trees, let’s paint some boobies!!” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967/41 "2002-09-06T00:37:45Z")
The _Mr. Coffee_ commercial, where Joe DiMaggio drains his coffee cup and shows us the bottom, entirely free of coffee grounds. Then the camera pans up to his grinning puss, with coffee grounds stuck in between all of his teeth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/great-tv-moments-that-should-have-been-but-never-were/126967.md?page=3)