the new addams family movie is about to come out as we speak …
Though, worth noting that it’s an animated film, not a live-action film as the 1990s ones were.
But Cop Hater was great. I love the way it created a feeling of not really having a beginning or end, just that we dropped in right before the first murder and left after the killer was arrested while the detectives just went on with their lives.
Plus it introduced the world to Jerry Orbach.
…but I would love to see someone try to do Cormac McCarthy’s ‘Blood Meridian’. It would certainly be the most violent movie ever filmed.
Here are a couple that did get made, but turned out a LOT less impressive than their promotions suggested.
Metamorphoses was supposed to be a (then) modern-day Rock version of Fantasia, with all the stories based on Greek myths. It was made by Sanrio (most famous these days for Hello Kitty) and, according to contemporary stories, was a collaboration between anime artists and some from Disney’s classic age of animation. The rock score was to feature works by Joan Baez, Mick Jagger, and others. the myths were to be Actaeon, Orpheus, “The House of Envy”, Perseus, and Phaethon. Connecting all these were the same “cute” childlike male and female characters, who would portray the leads in the myths. A lot of the conceptual drawings and stills looked very impressive (except for the child leads, who looked to me too much like the characters in those simpering “Love is…” cartoons)
Apparently they released it in Albuquerqque in 1978 and it was panned. They replaced the rock score with a new, undistinguished one, and added narration by Peter Ustinov. How this was supposed to improve it, I have no idea. I saw the altered release version and it – well – it sucked. The animation was fluid by amateurish. The sound quality was abysmal. It moved slowly. Definitely a lost opportunity.
the other was Flesh Gordon II, a follow-up to the original that was in production hell for years. The pre-production sketches looked gorgeous, but the film as finally made was scaled back. Obviously they stinted on production money. They also intended it for an “R” rating from the start, and apparently decided that this meant they couldn’t have any sex appeal, so they relied heavily on scatological jokes. It went straight to video.
Actually, a trilogy: Kickpuncher, Kickpuncher 2: Code-Name Punch Kicker, and Kickpuncher III: The Final Kickening.
The sad irony of Rama not getting made into a movie is that it has vastly more spectacle than any of Clarke’s other work from his best period.
The only upside of not making a movie out of Rama is that they’ll never make the sequels, either.
Those two attempts were absolute crap. In fact, in one of them I believe they made Richard Francis Burton the bad guy. Make it a multipart on Netflix, And I’ll give it a shot.
Agreed and agreed. Riverworld would, you’d think, make a helluva series. And you wouldn’t even need elaborate effects or sets. The problem is that the Powers That Be thought that Americans either wouldn’t know who Richard Francis Burton was (mistaking him for that actor), or wouldn’t accept a non-American hero (so they introduced an American Astronaut as a hero for that first TV movie). It’s the same mindset that turned Harry Potter’s Philosopher’s Stone in a Sorceror’s Stone. Geez, give people credit for some intelligence!
I was going to add the story of Brian Boru, but I’m happy to report that it will be made into a mini-series based on the wonderful book, The Lion of Ireland.
Life of High King Brian Boru to be major US miniseries
Giraffes on Horseback Salad. A proposed Salvador Dali and Marx Brothers movie. I fairly recently learned about this and now want to find an alternate timeline where it exists.
Salvador Dalí’s Would-Be Marx Brothers Movie Is Now a Graphic Novel | IndieWire!
I would have loved to see Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis (after the great 90s LucasArts point-and-click adventure) instead of Crystal Skull, which, I’m sure many will agree, was pretty weak…
I’m not a fan of them but the planned idea for “Sleep-away Camp 4” sounded pretty ingenious.
The first movie is a generic 80’s slasher set at a summer camp basically only remembered for the twist ending. They made two sequels to that film, however the actress for played the killer apparently quit acting to go to school, so they wound up getting a different actress to replay the killer from the first film.
Apparently the plot of the fourth film would have been the killer from the first movie played by the original actor showing up and confronting the killer from the second and third movie played by the replacement actor, the idea being the 2nd and 3rd movies were the work of a copycat and the original killer is back to take their mantle back. It sounded like a pretty good proto-Freddy Vs Jason flick.
However the actual “movie” they made for Part 4 was far less ambitious and wasn’t even finished due to production running out of money. Apparently they did a “reboot” featuring the original actress coming back but it’s just not the same.
Why hasn’t the story of Bohemian Rhapsody been turned into a movie or Broadway musical? That song begs for such a treatment.
Stanley Kubrick - Napolean
The saga of Love Canal would be a must-see for me.
If I made it myself I would title it:
WE THE PEOPLE…
of Love Canal
Kubrick asked Anthony Burgess (of Clockwork Orange fame) to come up with a script. The result was Napoleon Symphony.
Burgess later commented on their differences in styles being a problem. Kubrick slow, Burgess much quicker. Burgess viewed the movie as having a nice, reasonable pace (and length) set to Beethoven. Kurbrick not so much.
Anyway, the material is out there for someone to turn into a movie.
One thing i don’t get is how people do facepalms over the very concept.
The idea seems solid and affecting and quite doable.
We’ve had nazi mistresses running prison films, decades of nazi zombie films. Decades of sad clown films. So how is a “Concentration camp prisoner dresses as a clown to ease the last days of the children there while dying inside every day.” not a solid idea?
Ok i just read the synopsis. It needs tweaking. The film should be less about the clown and the ‘pied piper’ thing is SO heavy-handed it needs tweaking, but overall its a solid idea.
Was this a porn parody movie that was watered down? Or an Airplane!-style parody that never took off?