# greatest one liners from a movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 13, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003 "2004-02-13T06:03:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![grisham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@grisham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grisham)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/1 "2004-02-13T06:03:54Z")
my personal favorite is look at the funbags on that hosehound. got any others as your personal favorite ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/2 "2004-02-13T06:14:37Z")
**grisham** - look, you are new, so I am going to be patient and give you some advice: Next time, please do us all a favor and identify the movie to which you are referring, okay? The actor delivering the line might be nice, too. Punctuation would be nice as well, but maybe that’s just me. As for my favorite, how about Jack Lemmon in _Some Like It Hot_ - “But I’m a Man!” and Joe E. Brown replying “Nobody’s perfect.” ---
**Author:** ![grisham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@grisham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grisham)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/3 "2004-02-13T06:22:05Z")
Sorry. Yes i am but a lowly newbie on this so any advice will be appreciated. I was referring to Dumb and Dumber. I am not sure on the actor but it is the scene where Harry and LLoyd are walking down the street in Aspen. Harry turns to Lloyd and says this. Again thank you for the advice and sorry for the trouble. ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/4 "2004-02-13T07:07:46Z")
“Baby clothes…” -Elwood 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/5 "2004-02-13T07:11:01Z")
Val Kilmer’s character in _Real Genius_ : > [@](#): > > In the immortal words of Socrates : " I have to drink what ?" ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/6 "2004-02-13T07:17:08Z")
Peter O’Toole as Alan Swann in **My Favorite Year** : “I’m not an actor, I’m a movie star.” ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/7 "2004-02-13T07:34:04Z")
In the fictional sense of “something invented by the imagination”, that would be non-addictive, non-withdrawal inducing heroin. Not that I’ve ever tried, or ever would try the regular stuff, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/8 "2004-02-13T07:35:43Z")
See thread about favorite fictional illegal drug for above post, please. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/9 "2004-02-13T09:00:25Z")
“You keep lookin’ at me like that, and you’ll see me kill you.” – **Freejack**. Man, I love crappy B-movies with Mick Jagger. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/10 "2004-02-13T11:46:39Z")
“Watch out for the horse crap Ted” “Oh, yeah, thanks dude” Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/11 "2004-02-13T12:53:54Z")
Movie: **Dogma** Character: **Jay** of Jay and Silent Bob Scene: Jay and Silent Bob trying to get a ride with Linda Fiorentino’s character Jay: "Oh man, I feel like he’s Chewie, I’m Han Solo, she’s Ben Kenobi and we’re in that **FUCKED UP bar!** ---
**Author:** ![lonelocust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/73ab20/32.png) [@lonelocust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lonelocust)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/12 "2004-02-13T13:00:54Z")
**detop** I think Kilmer’s actual line was “I was just thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said: I drank what?.” ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/13 "2004-02-13T13:03:56Z")
> [@detop](#): > > Val Kilmer’s character in _Real Genius_ : > > In the immortal words of Socrates : " I have to drink what ?" Actually, it was “I **drank** what?” \ That movie also includes: “Are you Chris Knight?” “I hope so. I’m wearing his underwear.” “Can you drive a nine-inch spike through a board with your penis?” “Not right now…” “A girl’s gotta have her standards.” “And Kent…” “Huh?” “Stop playing with yourself!” “It IS Jesus!” And many, many others… ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/14 "2004-02-13T13:07:44Z")
> [@lonelocust](#): > > **detop** > > I think Kilmer’s actual line was “I was just thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said: I drank what?.” Oh, heck…scooped by three minutes AND you were more accurate. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/15 "2004-02-13T13:22:47Z")
From “Raising Arizona” “Son, you 've got a panty on your head.” ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/16 "2004-02-13T13:27:29Z")
“I’m your Huckleberry.” Val Kilver as Doc Holliday in Tombstone. As if everybody didn’t know that already. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/17 "2004-02-13T13:28:39Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > “I’m your Huckleberry.” Val Kilver as Doc Holliday in Tombstone. As if everybody didn’t know that already. Replace(Kilver,Kilmer); :smack: ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/18 "2004-02-13T13:37:12Z")
“The district attorney is a Republican” – which is only funny (and hilariously so) when you hear it in context in “Miracle on 34th Street” My e-mail .sig file is filled with hundreds of my favorite lines from movies. Some are (and I’m not going to name the source. If you don’t know, you’re not much of a moviegoer): “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.” “Here’s looking at you, kid.” “Made it, MA! Top of the world!” “I think it might be fun to run a newspaper.” “Never give up! Never surrender!” “'Tain’t a fit night out for man nor beast.” “This is the West, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.” “The pellet with the poison’s in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle holds the brew that is true.” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/19 "2004-02-13T14:04:22Z")
“Gonna need some more FBI guys, I guess.” –_Die Hard_ ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003/20 "2004-02-13T14:21:48Z")
“Thank you ma’am, may I have another?” - ‘Joe’, as he’s being shot by 'Margaret" in “House of Games” Good movie. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatest-one-liners-from-a-movie/229003.md?page=2)