# Greatness will not harm you, but greatness will annoy the fuck out of you. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 29, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168 "2004-03-29T21:35:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/1 "2004-03-29T21:35:51Z")
Lame rant time: I generally ignore commercials, but I stumbled onto this one from Nike. There’s 2 or 3 of these “Greatness” ads running. They tell you what Greatness will/won’t do to/for you. Worst ad campaign in a long time. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/2 "2004-03-29T21:40:58Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Worst ad campaign in a long time. What can Great do for you? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/3 "2004-03-29T21:45:32Z")
Greatness…I’m lovin’ it! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/4 "2004-03-29T21:47:25Z")
I want to know how they do the ones where Lance Armstrong is a boxer, The Big Unit’s a bowler, Agassi is a baseball player (right?) etc. Those… are cool. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/5 "2004-03-30T08:19:54Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > The Big Unit’s a bowler Ron Jeremy’s in Nike ads now? Cool! (seriously, though, who’s Big Unit?) ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/6 "2004-03-30T08:22:15Z")
MLB pitcher Randy Johnson is The Big Unit, so named because he’s 6-foot-10. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/7 "2004-03-30T16:56:40Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I want to know how they do the ones where Lance Armstrong is a boxer, The Big Unit’s a bowler, Agassi is a baseball player (right?) etc. > > Those… are cool. And let’s not forget my boyfriend, Brian Urlacher, playing hockey. Sigh…so dreamy. ---
**Author:** ![cards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cards)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/8 "2004-03-30T19:29:47Z")
Your boyfriend? I thought Paris was his squeeze. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/9 "2004-03-30T19:44:47Z")
Don’t make me smite you. Don’t bring up her name around here. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/10 "2004-03-30T19:54:26Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I want to know how they do the ones where Lance Armstrong is a boxer, The Big Unit’s a bowler, Agassi is a baseball player (right?) etc. > > Those… are cool. Those are _not_ cool. Those are weird and pointless. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/11 "2004-03-30T19:57:14Z")
Whew…good thing we’re allowed opinions! :rolleyes: I think they’re VERY cool, special effectswise, and the message that no matter how you’re pigeonholed, you can achieve more through sweat and hard work. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/12 "2004-03-30T20:06:12Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I want to know how they do the ones where Lance Armstrong is a boxer, The Big Unit’s a bowler, Agassi is a baseball player (right?) etc. > > Those… are cool. Computer graphics, easy as pie. They just swap the face. Verizon did this with James Earl Jones as well, skyboarding all over the place like a nut. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/13 "2004-03-30T20:38:06Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > Don’t make me smite you. Don’t bring up her name around here. Hehehehe… So what exactly _WAS_ Ms. Hilton doing up in the skybox during that game last year? Wearing that number 54 jersey, too. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/14 "2004-03-30T20:42:45Z")
I cannot lie. The two were ‘involved’ because Urlacher likes ‘pretty shiny things’, but she soon lost her luster. Urlacher, after counsel with Mike Ditka, has reconciled with the wife, and coincidentally the media. He’s no idiot. He knows that he’s the golden boy that everyone in Chicago would slay their first born for…that Paris thing brought a great many of us to a scary, screeching revelation… and then, of course…he tried Pro Wrestling. Poor Brian, a twelve year old goon stuck in a Greek God’s body. GRRWWWWWORWWWL ---
**Author:** ![Jurhael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@Jurhael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurhael)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/15 "2004-03-30T21:21:28Z")
Hooo boy. Those Greatness commercials. Greatness equals greatness, greatness equals greatness, ad nauseum. You know, if you hear it enough, it sounds like grapenuts equals grapenuts. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/16 "2004-03-31T04:27:26Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > Whew…good thing we’re allowed opinions! :rolleyes: > > I think they’re VERY cool, special effectswise, and the message that no matter how you’re pigeonholed, you can achieve more through sweat and hard work. (Don’t know what the remark about opinions refers to…) Terrible way to express the message, then. Telling me one mega-athlete from one sport can play another sport? Those athletes aren’t pigeonholed - they excel _because_ they’re athletes; they’re not limited by their athleticism. Now, if you take a cabbie and made him the doormn at the Waldorf-Astoria, and he performed his new job successfully that would be a stronger message - then, you’d be taking a person from one profession and putting him into a completely different one. The _real_ point of this commercial is that Nike has access to Famous Athletes and isn’t afraid to use them. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/17 "2004-03-31T05:02:25Z")
re: the Nike ads, [this “Ad Report Card” from Slate Magazine](http://slate.msn.com/id/2097057/) says that there was not any special effects trickery. > [@](#): > > According to published accounts, the athletes in the ad actually performed many of the feats you see—they spent hours working with trainers to get things perfect. So that’s really Serena Williams spiking that volleyball, and that’s really Agassi bare-handing a bounding grounder. The hardest one to believe, IMO, is Marion Jones’s gymnastics routine. ---
**Author:** ![schplebordnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@schplebordnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schplebordnik)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/18 "2004-03-31T05:13:44Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > Urlacher, after counsel with Mike Ditka. You think Iron Mike told him he needed to try out Levitra? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/19 "2004-03-31T14:54:57Z")
> [@dantheman](#): > > (Don’t know what the remark about opinions refers to…) It refers to you not saying “ **I** think they’re stupid” or “ **I** don’t like them” but proclaiming for ALL of us as FACT that they’re stupid. Thank you for clearing that up for us. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168/20 "2004-03-31T15:00:12Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > It refers to you not saying “ **I** think they’re stupid” or “ **I** don’t like them” but proclaiming for ALL of us as FACT that they’re stupid. Thank you for clearing that up for us. I proclaimed no such thing. Settle down. Claws in, cat. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greatness-will-not-harm-you-but-greatness-will-annoy-the-fuck-out-of-you/237168.md?page=2)