# Greeting Cards for Folks Having an Affair **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820 "2005-06-18T16:59:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/1 "2005-06-18T16:59:34Z")
Yes, you read that headline correctly. Seeking to fill a niche market, a lady from Bethesda, MD has [created a line of cards](http://www.gazette.net/200520/potomac/news/275578-1.html) you aren’t likely to find at Hallmark any time soon. While I’m sure that some will find the idea to be in poor taste, I just hope it doesn’t give outfits like NAMBLA any ideas. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/2 "2005-06-18T17:04:21Z")
Buy a box ful and put them on the spouse’s Visa. Watch ensuing fireworks… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/3 "2005-06-18T17:05:37Z")
“Roses are red Violets are blue When I’m in bed with my wife I’m thinking of you.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/4 "2005-06-18T17:07:38Z")
Roses are red Violets are blue You’re boning your wife And I am, too ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/5 "2005-06-18T17:13:27Z")
This documentation will be useful at the child support hearings. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/6 "2005-06-18T18:04:19Z")
Mailing a greeting card to the home of the married person you’re sleeping with sounds pretty incredibly stupid, doesn’t it? Shall we take bets on how long till the first premeditated murder after such an occurence? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/7 "2005-06-18T18:56:06Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Mailing a greeting card to the home of the married person you’re sleeping with sounds pretty incredibly stupid, doesn’t it? Shall we take bets on how long till the first premeditated murder after such an occurence? C’mon. Use your imagination. Think of an office flirt that turns serious-you drop the card in their cube. You put it on the pillow at Ernie’s No-Tell Motel. Or you get a PO Box for illicit correspondence. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/8 "2005-06-18T18:56:10Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Shall we take bets on how long till the first premeditated murder after such an occurence? I’m sure someone will come up with a card for THAT. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/9 "2005-06-18T19:05:42Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > C’mon. Use your imagination. Think of an office flirt that turns serious-you drop the card in their cube. You put it on the pillow at Ernie’s No-Tell Motel. Or you get a PO Box for illicit correspondence. Oh, I’m not dumb enough to do that. But lots of people are. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/10 "2005-06-18T19:13:51Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > I’m sure someone will come up with a card for THAT. Roses are red violets are blue YOU RUINED MY LIFE YOU FUCKIN’ BASTARD! ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/11 "2005-06-18T19:18:51Z")
Do they have a card for when you’ve had “\*Rodeo Sex”? You mount your wife from behind, whisper your mistresses name in her ear and try to hang on for 8 seconds. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/12 "2005-06-18T19:23:43Z")
Violets are blue, roses are red. Be sure to keep names right, when talking in bed. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/13 "2005-06-18T19:23:52Z")
Roses are red, My EPT turned blue, I’ve just called your wife, and she’s looking for you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a subpoena From my lawyer to you. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/14 "2005-06-18T19:29:42Z")
I yearn for you darling, whether you’re near or far so for heaven’s sake don’t leave your undies in my car ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/15 "2005-06-18T19:31:10Z")
There really _is_ a card for every occasion. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/16 "2005-06-18T19:33:54Z")
I once sent a card to my ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend. It was nice Christmas card. In it, I included a photo of me and my then-sweetie, and a live 5.56mm round. It was tough to fold the card over and seal the envelope, but I made it work. Tripler \*NOTE: See the note below. [sub]\*NOTE: NO I really didn’t do it, but it sounds good.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/17 "2005-06-18T19:37:20Z")
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue You didn’t have herpes But now you do. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/18 "2005-06-18T19:42:13Z")
Roses are red asphalt is black thanks for the time you spent on your back ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/19 "2005-06-18T19:45:42Z")
Lights in the driveway Her husband came home early I’m out the back door ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820/20 "2005-06-18T19:46:10Z")
Hey diddle diddle with her i do fiddle when the sun is replaced by the moon but the last time i did ride her i finished inside’er the next 9 months will be inopportune say…this is fun [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greeting-cards-for-folks-having-an-affair/308820.md?page=2)