# Greetings. My name is Crandall Spondular **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 4, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730 "2007-12-04T00:19:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/181 "2008-01-22T01:14:59Z")
I picture you twirling a dastardly mustache as you type your innocent-sounding queries to your not so innocent lambs. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/182 "2008-01-22T01:19:09Z")
I can’t wait for his next reply. I actualy want him to tell me what he thinks the problem might be. I know he’s (quite rightly, although I denied it) accused me of lying and playing games, somehow, I’m not sure he’ll be able to make those accusations again in the face of my meek questioning tone. We’ll see. I can’t imagine this one is going to run past the next weekend, unless I can think of some other reason to keep him hanging on. ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/183 "2008-01-22T07:25:47Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny L.A.] You should change it to a nice big photo of a **lemon party**. [/QUOTE] How do you ppl find this kind of sick sh\*t? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/184 "2008-01-22T08:45:56Z")
> [@](#): > > I TOLD YOU THAT WE ALSO HAVE WU IN OUR BANK HERE Of course, but I was trying to trick you into admitting you don’t actually work in a bank, but are in fact sitting in a greasy internet cafe in west Africa. I’ll leave him a little while before replying. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/185 "2008-01-22T09:15:37Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Of course, but I was trying to trick you into admitting you don’t actually work in a bank, but are in fact sitting in a greasy internet cafe in west Africa. [/QUOTE] Challenge him to tell you the color of the boathouse at Hereford! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/186 "2008-01-22T13:07:37Z")
This is quite lovely. He’s almost sure I’m messing him around, but not quite sure enough, apparently. > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > This is really strange. I’m not really sure what to do next - what do you think might have gone wrong? > > Do you have any suggestions on how to resolve this? > > Regards > Crandall > [@](#): > > MR Crandall STOP ALL THIS YOU ARE TALKING YOU DID NOT SEND ANY MONEY PLEASE GO BACK TO THE WU OFFICE AND GET BACK YOUR LIE TRANSFER THAT YOU SEND OK > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > You’re not making any sense at all. Are you having a bad day at the bank or something? Should I perhaps contact you again when you’ve calmed down? > > Of course I’ll go back to the Western Union office here, but I can’t see how that’s going to help - the agent showed me the transaction on her screen. Maybe I can cancel or recall it and send a brand new one - although I’ll have to pay the fee again if I do this. > > Regards > Crandall. > [@](#): > > YOU GO BACK AND GET BACK YOUR MONEY IF YOU GET BACK THE MONEY CONTACT ME I WILL TOLD YOU HOW YOU WILL DO THAT OK > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton. > > I went to the Western Union office as soon as it opened and explained the problems to the agent there. It took a while to convince her that the transaction wasn’t visible at your end, but I kept telling her that you work in a bank and you couldn’t see it on the system, and eventually, she accepted this. > > She wanted to re-send the transfer, but I was quite insistent and pressed for a refund, including all fees. > > So I’ve got all my money back- in cash - please tell me what to do next… > > Regards > Crandall ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/187 "2008-01-22T13:55:22Z")
Crandall, shame on you. Look at how the good Dr. Brunton has fallen back on screaming in all CAPS for quit a while now. Why don’t you inquire after his health? Maybe suggest he lie down, take an Advil? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/188 "2008-01-22T15:57:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Alright now go to MONEY GRAM MONEY TRANSFER office and send it with is very information below make sure you only send me the Reference on this mail address only. > > Name: TONY CHARLE. > Address: 22 TRITON SQUARE REGENT’S PLACE LONDON NW1 3AN GBR United Kingdom. > [@](#): > > Thanks. I’m going there now - there’s a MoneyGram place at the mall just a couple of blocks away - I’ll contact you again shortly with the details when I have arranged the transfer. Well, It’s been a lot of fun, but I think Dr Brunton is going to have to get the hairy arse picture next. Unless I think of some other ruse in the next half hour… ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/189 "2008-01-22T16:20:26Z")
Apologise profusely telling him it was your mistake that the entire time you have been trying to send him the money via Eastern Union. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/190 "2008-01-22T16:23:24Z")
Nice idea. I think we’re going to move this one into the end game though… > [@](#): > > ALRIGHT WAIT FOR THE INFORMATION I HOPE IT WILL NOT BE THE WESTERN UNION THAT NOTHING THERE AGAIN Hope is good, yes. It’s all you’re going to get. > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > Good news. There was nobody else in line at the MoneyGram place, and I got the transfer processed straight away. > > I also bought myself a new scanner and I’m just setting that up - I’ll email you a scan of the transfer receipt in a few minutes, as soon as it’s ready. > > Regards > Crandall ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/191 "2008-01-22T16:28:38Z")
I’m pretty sure that I’m going to have to name my first child “Crandall Spondular” now. I hope she’ll understand after I show her this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/192 "2008-01-22T16:29:15Z")
You might inquire, in the meantime, what happened to all those ever so serious deadlines they set earlier. Why aren’t those a problem anymore? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/193 "2008-01-22T16:37:17Z")
Too late! I have unleashed the arse of doom! > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton. > > Success! - the scanned MoneyGram document is attached to this email. > > Please let me know when you’re ready to proceed with the tax documentation, or if there’s anything else you need… > > Regards > Crandall I can’t link to the image I sent, for various reasons - including board rules and my own reluctance to host such an image on my own webspace, but if you do a google image search for the phrase _cock for this arse_, you’ll quickly find the arse I’ve chosen to send this time. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/194 "2008-01-22T16:52:42Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] but if you do a google image search for the phrase _cock for this arse_, you’ll quickly find the arse I’ve chosen to send this time. [/QUOTE] Not in my lifetime, pal. 😃 On the other hand I think I`d pay for a picture of Dr. Burton when that vein in his forehead, that you have so masterfully swelled with vain frustrations, finally burst, splattering some hole-in-the-wall cybercafe screen. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/195 "2008-01-22T19:52:59Z")
Well, oddly, he decided to reply. Usually they just disappear in silence. > [@](#): > > YOU SEE YOUR LIFE I don’t know if he’s referring to the image, or if that’s some kind of threat. let’s find out - I’m just going to act as if nothing is wrong… > [@](#): > > Dear Dr Brunton > > I didn’t understand your last email at all - but I’ve noticed a steady decline in the coherence of your replies - are you OK? I know stress is a common ailment for professionals such as bankers and lawyers. > > I realise this has been quite a difficult and frustrating transaction at many stages, but I thought we were past that now. > > Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do at this end to hasten the progress of the transaction. > > Kind regards > Crandall Spondular ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/196 "2008-01-22T22:03:03Z")
Wow, I never thought he’d reply. I sure hope you keep posting for the next couple days, so that we know he didn’t hunt you down. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/197 "2008-01-22T22:13:22Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Too late! I have unleashed the arse of doom! [/QUOTE] Oh, you really should have sent the lemon party. More offensive than a butt. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2008, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/198 "2008-01-22T22:22:08Z")
[QUOTE=appleciders] Wow, I never thought he’d reply. I sure hope you keep posting for the next couple days, so that we know he didn’t hunt you down. 😉 [/QUOTE] If I do stop posting in the next couple of days, it’s marginally more likely that the cause will be a stream of monkeys flying out of my butt, than that I’ve been tracked down by this muppet. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/199 "2008-01-23T00:33:46Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] If I do stop posting in the next couple of days, it’s marginally more likely that the cause will be a stream of monkeys flying out of my butt, than that I’ve been tracked down by this muppet. [/QUOTE] True. I mean, if he had the power to do anything to you, he wouldn’t be phishing. I still can’t believe that he bothered to respond. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2008, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/200 "2008-01-23T00:42:26Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Well, oddly, he decided to reply. Usually they just disappear in silence. > [@](#): > > YOU SEE YOUR LIFE [/QUOTE] Is there a possibility that he’s stringing you along now? You know, to keep you occupied so you can’t turn your attention to other scammers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=11)