# Greetings. My name is Crandall Spondular **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 4, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730 "2007-12-04T00:19:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/41 "2007-12-13T11:17:34Z")
Finally got around to creating a fake passport; [here](http://www.atomicshrimp.com/stuff/passport.jpg) it is. I sent this, along with the following email (copied to the attorney and the banker): > [@](#): > > Dear Sirs > > I’m sorry it took so long for me to reply with the details you requested - I was called away from home unexpectedly for a day. > > I hope this information is what you need - I don’t know which number you want off my passport, so I’ve attached a scanned copy of it to this email - I hope it is readable enough… > > I’m also not sure what banking details you need. My Mastercard number is [fake CC number snipped] (expiry 02/2010) and my Social Security Number is [fake SSN snipped]. > > Please let me know if this is OK, or if there’s anything else you need. > > Kind regards > Crandall Spondular ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/42 "2007-12-13T12:38:01Z")
FYI, **Mange** , I read this every morning now and go to work w/ a smile on my face and a tee-hee on my lips! ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/43 "2007-12-13T13:30:30Z")
Good work that. On the doctored passport, I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/44 "2007-12-13T15:06:49Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Finally got around to creating a fake passport; [here](http://www.atomicshrimp.com/stuff/passport.jpg) it is. [/QUOTE] Impressive. Better not advertise this skill too widely. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/45 "2007-12-13T15:16:02Z")
I don’t think I could create a physical copy of a passport that would pass muster - all of that was done in a photo manipulation program. The thing that always gives it the really convincing flavour of authenticity is the rotation - after I superimposed all the text and images, I put the doctored passport image on a dark brown speckly background, did a drop shadow effect around it, then rotated the whole thing a few degrees and re-cropped it - making it look like it was put on the scanner glass slightly askew. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/46 "2007-12-13T15:30:57Z")
{A master reveals a few tricks of his trade.} ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/47 "2007-12-13T15:50:47Z")
**Mangetout** , have you ever had a scenario where you played two different folks trying to compete for the money? Something tells me you did but I’m not sure. If not, it might be funny if Crandals “brother” got wind of this transaction and tried to cut a preemptive deal with “Sandra.” Maybe by out-wooing Crandal. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/48 "2007-12-13T15:54:22Z")
I received this reply from Sandra yesterday, but forgot to post it here > [@](#): > > My dear brother in the lord , > Good morning and thank you for your mails .I am ok except that we had internet connection problems here yesterday hence that is the reason why I did not write you before now. > Thank you again for your picture with your Sister and I am going to do everything possible to send you mine within the week. > I am glad to read that you have being contacted by the bank and I pray this transaction comes to an end soonest as you said herein for the actual project to see the light of the day to the glory of the lord and service to humanity . > Please, do not relent in serving the lord and going to church hence it is not good . I have the believe that you shall be a great intrument hence it is not by accident that this projects falls in your hand .You shall really be a blessing to many through this project. Go ahead with this transaction and see that the vow of my late husband is realized . > Thank you for your mails once again and remain blessed in your respective endeavours while I hope to read from you always. > Yours in the lord , > Sister Sandra. I think I need to ask her for more advice on spiritual and moral things, so I sent this: > [@](#): > > Dearest Sandra > > Thanks ever so much for your reply. It means a very great deal to me. > > I have been away from home for a day or so on business, and an interesting thing happened - I shared a hotel dinner table with a stranger and he wanted to talk to me about Jesus. He said that I need to be saved, or else I will go to hell. I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly good person - certainly no worse than most, so this surprised me quite a bit. I remember the pastor from my parents’ church saying things like this though, so It makes me wonder a bit. > > I mean, I’m not a bad guy - I’ve done a few things in the past that I probably shouldn’t have done, but nobody’s perfect - are they? > > But still, I can’t stop thinking about what the man in the hotel restaurant said. I know you’re a deeply spiritual and committed Christian lady, so I wanted to ask you about this. I feel sure you will guide me the right way. Do I need to be saved? If so, what should I do? > > I hope you are well, please contact me as soon as you can. I’d really like to see a photo of you - have you made any progress on this? > > By the way, I thought you’d like to know - I’ve sent my ID and banking details to Mr Amichi and the attorney now. > > Kindest Regards > Crandall I’m just curious to know whether this scammer will actually preach the gospel to me… ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/49 "2007-12-13T15:56:56Z")
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad] **Mangetout** , have you ever had a scenario where you played two different folks trying to compete for the money? Something tells me you did but I’m not sure. If not, it might be funny if Crandals “brother” got wind of this transaction and tried to cut a preemptive deal with “Sandra.” Maybe by out-wooing Crandal. [/QUOTE] I did something like that with [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=412122) one - I played a hapless incomprehensible foreigner whose translator (also me) tried to help and brought in a legal advisor (also me) who tried to steal the deal. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/50 "2007-12-13T17:00:19Z")
you are an evil mastermind and I applaud you. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/51 "2007-12-13T18:00:50Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] I did something like that with [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=412122) one - I played a hapless incomprehensible foreigner whose translator (also me) tried to help and brought in a legal advisor (also me) who tried to steal the deal. [/QUOTE] Ah yes, that’s the one. Thank you, **Nemga Tuot**. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/52 "2007-12-13T18:35:26Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve done a few things in the past that I probably shouldn’t have done I think you should imply it was a murder, further down the line! ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/53 "2007-12-13T18:59:44Z")
if you haven’t already, worshippers of the 419 scammers being out-scammed by us regular folk, check out: > **[Scam o Rama: The Lads from Lagos](http://www.scamorama.com/)** > > funny scam letters lady agatha is my hero! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/54 "2007-12-13T21:11:23Z")
[QUOTE=jjimm] I think you should imply it was a murder, further down the line! [/QUOTE] inspired suggestion. I’ll get right to work on that idea… ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/55 "2007-12-13T21:19:14Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] inspired suggestion. I’ll get right to work on that idea… [/QUOTE] Perhaps you sporked someone to death in the ring? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2007, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/56 "2007-12-13T21:42:03Z")
I sporked a man in Reno, just to watch him die. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/57 "2007-12-14T10:36:18Z")
And here’s the part where they ask for money: > [@](#): > > From Henri Tella Osther Esq. > Private Practice Lawyer, Corporate Law Lawyer. > Bile-Aka, Brizoua-Bi & Associes, > 7, Boulevard Latrille, 25 B.P. 945, Abidjan > Cote d’ Ivoire > Email : [snipped] > > ``` > Your honour, Mr.Crandall Spondular ! > > ``` > > This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mails . Yes,the management of the COBACI has informed me about this before now and all you need to do is to send the fee for these documents so that I will go for them immediately. > Your information is complete towards processing the said affidavit and other related legal papers in your full name as demanded by the bank . > Obtaining of these documents will take one to two days and as soon as I procure them, I will submit them to the bank and send you the copies as required. > The total cost for these documents will be 330, 000CFA in our local currency , which is equivalent to USD$750 arranged in order as follow. > > 1.Transfer approval letter from the Finance Ministry----------- 150.000CFA > 2.Affidavit of Claim from the Court of Justice------ -------- 75.000CFA > 3.Court Clearance Certificate(CCC)--------------------------- 50.000CFA > 4.Legal Service Charge ----------------------------------------- 100.000CFA > > You are to send the fee through Western union money transfer or Moneygram , using my secretary’s name ( MISS NATALIE ZOKORA) , whereas the other information you need are. > City : Abidjan > Country : Cote d’Ivoire and then send us the control/reference number. > Or you request for an account so that we would go for the documents. > Note that paying via account will delay the services hence the choice is yours. > Yours in service, > Henri Tella Osther (Esq). > Tel: [snipped] > email: [snipped] > Call me as soon as you read this mail for further information, if need be . $750 is pretty small beer for a scam - I thought these guys usually went for more - although maybe this is the first nibble, intended to get me on the hook so I can start throwing good money after bad. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/58 "2007-12-14T10:49:29Z")
So I’ve decided to ask Sandra for help - after all, she’s loaded: > [@](#): > > Dearest Sandra > > I hope you are well. I wanted to wait for your reply to my previous email, but business dictates I must contact you again… > > I received an email from Henri Teller Osther Esq - the lawyer who is handling the legal aspects of the transfer of funds - he says there are some fees to pay in order to effect the transfer - the total of 330,000CFA in local currency. > > I hope that this won’t seem too rude or presumptuous of me, but wouldn’t it be simpler to just arrange a direct payment to him out of the $3.5 million that currently resides in your late husband’s account? - Please could you contact him to arrange this - his email address, if you don’t already have it, is: [snipped]. > > I hope this is OK. Please also could you write back to me on the important matter of salvation? I’m actually really worried about that. Do you think God would hold a grudge against me forever if there was, like, one really bad thing in my past - like, hurting someone, or maybe worse?. I’m not a bad person and the other guy should have known better than to follow me down a dark alleyway when I was holding a stick with a nail in it - that’s all I can say. Please tell me what I should do. > > Kindest regards > Crandall ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/59 "2007-12-14T12:50:57Z")
And [here’s “Sandra” in action](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXjRFAtOu7Y) (NSFW language). I am ready to transfer the moneys to your bank account. 86 thousand Ugandan dollars. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2007, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730/60 "2007-12-14T13:52:40Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] So I’ve decided to ask Sandra for help - after all, she’s loaded: [/QUOTE] That’s just brilliant. Of course “she”'ll say she doesn’t have access to the money. But if she can tell her “bank” to wire the money to you, why can’t she tell that same bank to wire a bit of money to you beforehand? She’ll have a tough time weaselling out of _that_ one. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/greetings-my-name-is-crandall-spondular/428730.md?page=4)